My husband moved out about a month ago and continues to live his life like we are divorced even though we arent even legally seperated. I have asked him numerous times that if he wants out all he has to do is say the four words, "I WANT A DIVORCE". But he absolutely refuses to say the words. He plays mind games like telling people since Im mentioning it then its what I want and thats what Im getting. What I want to know is either how do I get him to say the words so I can have closure or call his bluff and get him to stop the stunts and come back home? Help
2007-02-14 08:50:10 · 13 answers · asked by finallyfree 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"My husband moved out about a month ago and continues to live his life like we are divorced even though we arent even legally seperated" That is a pretty good HINT right there. You don't NEED to have him "say the words"...you NEED to see a lawyer.
2007-02-14 08:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need him to say the words. He's showing you. Stop playing his mind games (and yours...yes YOURS) and just talk to an attorney. File for a legal separation and have him served papers. If you have kids, you need to make sure your legal house is in order and that you've thought about custody and visitation while he is moved out. He doesn't want it to seem like its his fault for ending the marriage, but guess what HE MOVED OUT. HE LEFT. HE DESERTED YOU.
You just need to take steps to protect yourself. Get an attorney and explain the situation along with any concerns you have (financial, custodial, etc,) You'll have your closure. If you feel the need to explain yourself, just say "He left the marriage when he moved out" and end it there.
Don't let him dangle you on a string so that he can go screw around with other women and then come back to you by using the excuse that you were never legally separated or that he never said he wanted a divorce. Chances are if you take him back, he'll do it again and again.
Start taking pride in yourself and be confident and strong. You don't need to put up with that kind of behavior and game-playing.
2007-02-14 09:01:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need him to say those specific words so that you can move on? Why give him that power over you? (Why play games?) I'd take his actions as statement enough. He's messing with both of you if he is acting single and not taking the next step. I'd talk to a lawyer if I were you - that would call his bluff for sure.
2007-02-14 08:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because I am a lady of a few years I will give you the best advise. Get a life. Not saying that sarcastically, but get involved in your own life. May that be your job, children or hobbies. When one gets busy with your own business of a happy productive life, it makes the other one wonder what you are doing. Be solid. Don't bother him and I bet he will bother you. He very well may start wondering about you and what he has with you. Just try it.
2007-02-14 09:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by Dollydoright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want him back. He has a wonderful life. He is married but can live like he is single. Why don't YOU say the four words and move on.
2007-02-14 08:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great husband you've got there huh? Quit being such a doormat. Tell him you want a divorce. That should force him to react one way or the other.
2007-02-14 09:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he wants to take a break and/or living with someone already. I don't know which one...
What you can do is: to get help. Bring him with you to counselling with your kids if you have children. Just share the time together without fighting. Try new plans together. Ask him what his needs and try to solve the problem together.
2007-02-14 11:33:42 · answer #7 · answered by C. J. V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex tried that. I think he thought it would tie me down. Why he was worried about that I'll never know. After ten years of misery with him, I've not looked at another man. Why waste my time?! I took the four kids and moved out of town.
2007-02-14 08:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by Blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he's playing mind games.
He's trying to get you to pay ATTENTION to him. And it appears that he had to move out of the house to try to get your ATTENTION and all you do is belittle him.
You want a marriage try reading the book "the proper care and feeding of a husband" but your type is usually self-centered you can't even stand the title.
2007-02-14 08:58:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actions always speak louder than words. You can't continue to tell me that you love me and beat on me, and the same goes for arriage. If you want to stay married to me, your actions will show it.
2007-02-14 13:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋