that we were going to have to cancel our dinner plans because he had to work late.He is unhappy w/his job so he is not helping the other guys hurry up and get finished because he is mad.It is valentines day and I have been looking forward to a nice romantic dinner w/out the kids (3 of them) and we really needed it.
Am I wrong for being upset?I am not mad just more hurt because he could just suck up his pride and help the other guys and get done a whole lot faster so we can have a decent valentines day.
2007-02-14 08:38:31 · 34 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not at all trying to sound selfish I greatly appriciate his hard work ethics! I appriciate that he takes care of us.I work also but I do show him every day that all he does is highly appriciated.He has a real bad attitude when it comes to getting his way and proving a point and that is what is bothering me.
2007-02-14 08:51:02 · update #1
Yes i definatley know he is not cheating on me! I can honestly say I have never had to worry about that!
2007-02-14 08:54:10 · update #2
Do not feel alone on this one today the same thing happen to me today. I was suppose to pick up my husband for lunch today, because he will be working until 10:00 pm tonight so he called to cancel our valentine lunch hour, just to say he was to busy. I was in the car going to pick him up when this happen he new I was upset because I cut the conversation short. As I was driving on the freeway home, I said all right God give me a sign here because I am very upset. Within a minute I got a text message it was from my husband saying please honey do not be angry with me I LOVE YOU! so I said to myself there is my sign so I drove to a drive thought at taco bell and brought us some burritos and took it to his job with his valentines gift their he was with a big grin he said he was so hungry and gave me a big hug and kiss. It was a short lunch but it was worth it just to see him happy we hugged again and kissed each other good-bye as I was leaving he said to me you are the best, and I love you this made my day. So my advice to you is love him the way he is he’s a working man with a lot on his plate this is the time to be supportive just love him be there when he gets home put the kids to sleep early, and make it your night.
2007-02-14 09:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong, you're a woman. I'd be hurt too if at the last minute my husband cxl'd on me and it was because of his pride!!! We have 3 kids so I understand how hard it is to get away. Let him know his unhappiness at his job is keeping him from being able to be there for you, maybe not all the time, but special occasions are important too. If you have to accept that he has to work late and that means a lonely Valentine's Day, make him make it up to you. Say OK, well what do you have in mind since you're cxling on me? Don't let "I'm working late" be the excuse and nothing comes w/ it but disappointment for you. Don't make him think that since he has to work you don't expect anything. Yeah, the kids may be home, but a late night Valentine is probably the best one!!! HINT, HINT. Good luck.
2007-02-14 09:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by lamonross80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens , valentines day is an over rated commercial promotion for suckers anyway ....tell me one thing you can do today that cannot be done any other day ..why wait for today to be a day of expressing love ... valentines day is not a legal holiday so I am sure he is not the only one working today , plus you sound a little selfish , dinner with no kids , I would not feel complete without my kids tagging along ,after all they are your responsibility , there is no such thing as a " we need a break from the kids "unless you are a crybaby who can not handle the job.. so what were you going to do ..have your parents give up their valentines to take care of your kids ,or get someone else to give up theirs ..... I have never pawned off my kids to go out anywhere.. that is wrong , you sound very self centered ,and selfish... I would not even buy your whiny *** a popsicle for valentines day
2007-02-14 08:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by Insensitively Honest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is a day where it would be nice if he would just suck it up and take one for the team. You two should have a nice evening together.
Since he has already made the decision to work late, why don't you order some take out and do something romantic when he gets home. He is probably stressing this crappy job. It wont make things better for either of you if he comes home and you are all bent either. I know it seems unfair, but what is done is done. Try to make a bad situation better.
2007-02-14 08:42:16 · answer #4 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since when is Valentine's Day a national damn holiday!? If a man is unhappy with his job and he sticks with it so he can provide income/food/clothes for his wife and kids, the last thing he needs is a whiny bag who feels that he HAS to do something for this one day just like christmas or Birthday! Gads, why don't you grow up!! Isn't it better that he loves you and supports you 365 days a year?! So some commercial retailers buy ads and force idiots to go and spend money-so what?! Your guy needs your moral support, not some whining. Valentines Day is for kids. Make a cute dessert with your kids and help them make homemade cards for their daddy when he gets home. And - as for you - when he does get home, serve him dinner, tell him you appreciate his efforts and not to worry because some new employer who deserves a great guy like him will turn up. Then kiss him, give him the kids' cards and let him know he is loved. There are hundreds of thousands of women who would LOVE to be waiting at home with 3 kids with a guy who supports them. And there are just as many deluded women who will be getting roses and chocolates from players who are cheating on them. Count your blessings. All 4 of them.
2007-02-14 08:52:44 · answer #5 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is natural to be disappointed, and you should express this to him if it is how you feel. You shouldn't, however, take it out on him. Difficult work situations can be bad enough without a spouse pressuring you to meet their expectations. When there are problems at work, people need their home life to be a sanctuary from stress, not a source of more stress. Try and think of how you can help him forget about work. If he feels better because you helped, it can draw you both closer and help you feel like you make a difference in his life. In a functional relationship, he will also feel like reciprocating. Let the love fest begin!
2007-02-14 08:53:13 · answer #6 · answered by 2Confused 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get upset about the work part right now, it will take your attention away from what really is bothering you.
So, solve it.
Have something waiting for him when he gets home. Like dinner, or a hot bath drawn for both of you. Just do something that you can enjoy together at home- something that's a little more lazy and romantic. Who cares if you end up staying up late... it's Valentine's day. :)
2007-02-14 08:46:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been in your shoes. It seems like he loves the company more than he loves you. It will get better. He is probably keeping this job that he hates because of you and the kids. Perhaps you can do something nice for him when he gets home and tell him he owes you a night out. You may find that he is as unhappy as you.
2007-02-14 09:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by alice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would feel hurt as well why not call him back and say listen hunny i know your mad at these guys but help them finish we can have a great night together and talk about how you can deal with the A*sholes at work... I really miss you and don't let these loser ruin our night.. If that doesn't work tell him your going out anyway why should you suffer!! Good Luck
2007-02-14 08:42:24 · answer #9 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset.... he made plans with you and is now cancelling them to stay late at a job he doesnt even like?? Be upset, but calm, and when he gets home explain why youre mad and hurt... Hopefully he will understand and make it up to you.
2007-02-14 08:46:31 · answer #10 · answered by sweetjackieangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋