My husband and myself, let my sister and her 3 kids move in with us in October, until her husband could get a job, etc. We didn't let him move in, he has never really been a good provider, nor has he ever really tried. He never shows for work, too busy playing video games, etc. Well, you guessed it, they are still with us. They don't pay rent, or utilities, or for groceries; they have however gone to Disneyland twice, and stayed in motels several times. He buys movies and video games ( never gives us a dime) He still refuses to get a real job or look for one. Now my sister has had her oldest out of school a lot to go visit "Daddy" I am fed up..what should I do? On one hand I don't want the babies out in the streets, I love them, but her husband and her need to get a grip!
2007-02-14 07:46:37 · 13 answers · asked by erin_foss8191@sbcglobal.net 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, for those of you calling me an enabler....keep in mind there where hungry, homeless children to think of........
2007-02-14 10:24:57 · update #1
Give her a deadline. Tell her they have 2 months to find a place to live. It is not at all unreasonable for you to want to have your privacy back, and a couple of months is plenty of time for someone to find another place to live. You're not putting anyone on the streets; you have given them an ample opportunity to "get their act together". If they have to all go live in a one-room studio - then so be it; after a certain point, you need to get your life back, and not make everyone else's problems your problems. Please don't feel guilty; this kind of living arrangement puts a lot of stress on your own family - and YOUR family should be your #1 priority.
2007-02-14 08:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that since she needs to figure things out with her husband, u would be happy to keep the children until she has it figured out what she is going to do. Then if she decides to let them go too long, apply for foster help, or adopt the children and raise them. The kids are the ones to suffer through this stupidity and ignorance. I know, it happened to me when I was a year old !!! And believe me, my life is so much better than it would have been, and I am now 36 years old.
2007-02-14 19:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by pressman22001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your husband and see if he feels the same way. If he does, then you both need to sit down with the GUESTS and lay some rules down about chores and how much they should pay you and set up a weekly or bi-weekly payment amount. Treat it just like a business. If you husband says differently, then, you have three choices. Either put up with it, change his mind, or leave the situation and the hubby. If he can't see you are right, he is not the man you thought he was. Good luck and STAY FIRM!!
2007-02-14 15:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them exactly that and threaten them to kick them out if they don't get it straight. If they are smart they will realize that they rode this train long enough and it's time to get serious or loose everything. I doubt they will call your bluff but if they do then you need to make that decision. I wouldn't allow it to go on much longer regardless of the kids or not. Maybe after they suffer for a while they'll realize how good they had it and screwed up. Sometimes it takes tough love in order to get family to come around.
2007-02-14 16:23:09 · answer #4 · answered by mac_attack_51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU and your HUSBAND allowed them to move in without setting up some kind of "payment" plan You put yourselves right where you are. You have no right to blame your sister's husband for any of it. I doubt he twisted your arms and MADE you take in his family without any agreements on rent/food/etc. That was YOUR choice. You've become enablers and it's not THEIR fault. So either you suck up and deal with it like it is or tell her to get out.
2007-02-14 17:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the others have told you, you can't be a door mat unless you allow someone to wipe their feet on you, and god, hon, they are doing it to you and your husband big time.
Absolutely set a deadline, (April 1 is good.) Let them both know it, and have your eviction papers ready, and show it to them.... The stuff is not gone, it is out in the street... It's called tuff love.
2007-02-14 16:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
prove to how long they have been with you and your hubby, that she and her dead-beat husband aren't together, that they aren't helping to support themselves or helping you care for them - then visit the Defacts office, apply for temporary custody of the children. Once you have this put her out and tell her - hey we love you but you and your husband has either got to come together and make a life for you, him and the babies or she will lose the children for good. It's in the best interest of the children and it just might shock them enough to make them grow up!
2007-02-14 15:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by Grandfather Oak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would offer to keep the kids for them, but give the parents an ultimatum. This is not fair to you or your husband, and I think things will only continue to get worse. Good luck to you.
2007-02-14 16:21:26 · answer #8 · answered by Casey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell mom she has to go as well, and the kids can stay. And, there will be rent and money for food for the kids as well.
2007-02-14 15:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give them a 30 day notice to find another place to live.
2007-02-14 15:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋