my husband didnt wish me on valentines day. he didnt give me anything. he had a fight with me today.he didnt give me aything on my b'day he said he doesnt want to celebrate my b'day. he didnt give me anything on marriage aniversay, x-mas, new year. he does one thing very well he hurts me on all the specail ocasion and i cried on bdays, anniversary,valentines...
2007-02-14 07:18:13 · 23 answers · asked by carrie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you need to let him know how you feel. Communication is KEY in marriage. Don't be accusatory, just let him know you get your feelings hurt when special occasions are ignored. Maybe you two need counseling. Good luck
2007-02-14 07:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If and only if you love him and can overlook this bump in the road, start telling yourself privately everyday, several times a day, "I am in a loving relationship where my spouse treasures me and shows me this everyday"
I believe in the power of positive thinking, the law of attraction, and bringing on what you think about. If you cry, if you ask "why don't I get cards, gifts, flowers, something," then you may very well cause resentment. And you will get in return what you dwell on. If you spin it positively, the universe (God, fate, whatever) will bring it around.
I'm not saying it is right. I would be livid if I were not at least told Happy Birthday... But gifts/cards don't have to be the end all be all. But at the same time, if this was a minor setback that didn't mean years of emotional turmoil, then I would give it a try. You have approximately 1 month before the next holiday, if you even celebrate it. Try the positive words.
If this has been years of turmoil, then I think it would be my duty to:
1) inform my husband about my expectations
2) tell him my feelings when I feel neglected
3) and offer to talk about it to find a solution
If it remains unsolved, you have to be honest. Can you get over it? And if not, get out and give someone else a chance to shower you with the love you need.
2007-02-14 15:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by bswood7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd do it right back to him. Cut off the sex and stop doing things that he likes. There are things he likes or he'd be leaving you. Find out what those are and stop doing them for him and see how long that lasts. Then have a sit down conversation with him because now he'll have the same feelings you do and he'll relate better.
2007-02-14 16:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by mac_attack_51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carrie Happy valentines day to you,Ask yourself why am i here in this relationship,Its not happy, does it make you feel alone when your with someone. Get some help for the 2 of you .If he doesn't want help then you now where you stand in this the marriage. Best of luck
2007-02-14 15:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he doesn't give you anything on the holidays.
Does he cook for you when you are ill?
Does he listen to you while you are talking?
Does he cuddle with you at night?
Basically... on those unspecial days does he treat you well? Make you laugh? Etc?
If so, then I'd just take it as he doesn't like to be 'forced' to do things on special days.
If he doesn't treat you well on those unspecial days, then leave him.
Talk to him about it. If you need to, go to a counselor or get a NEUTRAL mediator while you two talk about this.
2007-02-14 15:25:55 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's your husband then he is supposed to do something to make you feel good but if he's making you cry then he is only trying to make you suffer. Which is not what a husband is there to do. My mother always told me never to let a Man hold you back no matter how much you think they mean to you it's not worth the heart ache.
2007-02-14 15:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by Badydoll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are these recent changes in his behavior? Did hecelebrate those special days and occasions in the past? Maybe he is having some financial problems, but you should be aware of this. I say move on or continue to expect this type of treatment from him.
2007-02-14 15:28:30 · answer #7 · answered by BigDaddyRayinLA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gift is only one expression of thoughtfulness. I would be more concerned by the lack of day to day consideration and expressions of love (a gentle caress, an expression of love.)
You know your situation is not good. My question is "What do you plan to do about it?"
If you think he is worth the effort you might want to seek outside assistance (therapy). If not, you need to make some important life decisions..... (good luck)
2007-02-14 15:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by Lifetime Learner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him.
If he does not buy gifts then well some ppl just don't, but if he straight told u he wont buy u anything and hurts ur feelings constantly, maybe u should leave him alone.
Do no take the abuse, move on.
2007-02-14 15:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by RR77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him along. maybe he doesnt like hoildays, maybe he is cheating on you, maybe you need to talk to him and ask him what is his problem. Sometimes married people feeli like everyday is a holiday and they dont need to celebrate it after so many years. Dont get mad get even do your thing let him live his life and you live yours tak etime for your self buy yourself some gifts you going to love it in the end.
2007-02-14 15:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by ALICE L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋