I have been married to my wife since we were eighteen for 10 years and we have three children together. Recently, I had an affair which made us split up for 6 months. But when I came home from work, my wife was waiting for me and she said she missed me and she wanted to make another go of things. I love her to pieces and I know I don't deserve a second chance. But the next morning, she got up and she said she wasn't sure anymore.....
Why the sudden change of heart and what can I do to win her back?
2007-02-14 07:07:39 · 13 answers · asked by s.roberts212 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
give her time.....roses, moving stove (cook for her), do stuff to show you care. You messed up. Candles by the bed and you covered in baby oil and wearing only a robe to be her love slave by help too. Love her, and remember you cheated.
2007-02-14 07:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by Tarie N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience, patience and more patience. I think the best way to win her back is to let her know that you are going to be there even if it takes her forever to forgive you and trust you again. (Hopefully forever won't be the case). The only true way to tell if someone is sincere is by their actions not just now but over time. Maybe start by asking her to have a date night once a week so you can get to know eachother again without having the 'make-it or break-it' feeling over your heads. Suggest counseling as well, many men aren't so keen on this idea so if you are open to it, that will show you are serious about this. And if you guys do reconcile, don't ever cheat on her again! Your children need a father they can look up to that sticks around when the going gets rough. Best of luck to you.
2007-02-14 15:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by sgfirecracker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will have trust issues after you having an affair. But if you love her like you say then stick it out. If she sees you waiting for her the trust will come back. In the mean while in small ways let her know that she is the love of your life. Let her know that even though you messed up it is a mistake you are not willing to make again. Just show her you love her.
2007-02-14 15:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by babyangel81981 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she had a moment of weakness, then wasn't sure of what she was doing. She sounds confused. Which I would be also if I were in her shoes.
I recommend offering to seek counseling together. She may realize that she doesn't want to get back together, but at least you would know for sure, and you would be doing something to help her sort out the mess you created.
I applaud your admitting that you don't deserve a second chance, but we all make mistakes, and hopefully this one works out for you.
Good Luck
2007-02-14 15:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nichole D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. You cheated and she's hurting. Sure she missed you, and when she saw you she was reminded of what you did. Her feelings will be up and down untill she is comfortable enough to go on without second guessing. She will also vent it out, whenever she feels what is hurting her. Your job is to let her and understand that YOU are the one that messed up, not her. And this is coming from someone who was cheated on. I may be generalizing but most people believe, once a cheater always a cheater. Prove it wrong, bro.
2007-02-14 15:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by mixedup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be open with her. Start new like you are dating again. You need to earn trust back and remember you can not start like it never happened
2007-02-14 15:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by angelsas21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You screwed up, it happens. The only thing you can do is try, at ten years things get stale and old. Be there for your kids.
2007-02-14 15:12:36 · answer #7 · answered by pauljpray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
betrayal is the worst thing to go through, maybe she thought she could go through it, but she probably saw u and the other woman in bed together and freaked. just let her go, she has no reason to stay
2007-02-14 15:11:38 · answer #8 · answered by shady_charisma15 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her space to think she probally don't trust you any more and she might thought she forgave you but found out she really didn't and may never cheating hurts a lot
2007-02-18 14:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, u must show and swear to her you will never betray her. i hate people play around even they are married.
maybe u are not very sure in ur mind to get her back.
2007-02-14 15:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by zara_mini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋