See, the difficulty lies in the fact that the a$$hole in question isn't exactly pure a$$hole. I would say she's an overall good human being, smart, funny, but also fairly inconsiderate, and unaware of those around her. She will (whether consciously or unconsciously) trample other people to get something done. BUT on the flip side, she is strong & assertive enough to accomplish her goals!
"Nice" is being defined here as someone totally considerate of other people's needs, respectful and careful -- she's smart as well, but so conscientious of NOT stepping on other people's toes, that she is also NOT forceful enough to get her ideas out there or make them popular among the masses, etc. (well, to be specific, she had an idea that was partially hers, claimed entirely by the "a$$hole" as defined above, and did not receive her part of the credit for the idea)
So if the goal is getting the idea out there AND getting credit where credit it due -- who wins?
2007-02-14 06:58:49 · 13 answers · asked by melon_rose 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
to "Munchkin," actually I cared a lot about getting the idea out there. But the girl was my friend, and I was careful b/c I didn't want her to think I was taking credit for her idea. The opposite ended up happening -- in being too gentle/conscientious of possibly offending her, I lost my part of the credit.
So ultimately does this problem come down to "where do we draw the line between "assertive" and "*****"? Ugh, I hate that this is such a gendered issue... I don't think the question would even be the same if it involved two males instead of females.
2007-02-14 07:23:13 · update #1
oops, the "****" up there was supposed to be "b*tch"
2007-02-14 07:24:34 · update #2
The B*tch will win every time, cause the nice one will be too nice to assert her claim on her own intellectual (and sometimes physical) property.
2007-02-14 07:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by zappafan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The stronger more ASSertive person will get the credit 95% of the time simply because they are the ones making themselves heard.The squeaky wheel gets the grease.If you're fighting over guys then the whole theory goes out the window only because some guys like quiet and shy girls.Of course if the guy is looking for a one night stand the loud flirty one will get noticed over a smart and sensible person.
2007-02-14 15:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by Stomper69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"The wheel turns and if it doesn't turn in your favor, then perhaps you didn't deserve it."
You see, sometimes the "victim" isn't necessarily the "nice" one.
I feel the right way to act in life, is to be nice and considerate, but in the same breath, come up for yourself or stand up for your own rights as it IS your own responsibility. (Definitely not the responsibility of the people around you grabbing opportunities!)
In this world, opportunity grabbers are the winners.
Still it doesn't mean that you may rudely rob other people from their opportunities. (Unless they are wasting it!)
And one last thing, remember, our world need both of these characters.. Why?... The one give birth to ideas and the other one bring those ideas up and make something of it. (Think of it as if all ideas are babies becoming adults. They need to be born and they need to become something. And who WILL get the credit in the end? The one who trained that baby to become an amazing adult. Sorry, that is how it works. Still, that idea wouldn't have been there, if it wasn't born.)
2007-02-14 15:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sunbeam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who wins? There can only be a winner if there is a contest. It looks like this is a contest, where the object of winning is to get an idea across AND get credit for it. If this is a contest, Nice seems to have lost. And it looks as though she will lose again unless she changes tactics.
2007-02-14 15:20:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not all about getting the credit....i would say if the nice one is not assertive or forceful, she probably just doesn't really care much about the credit for her idea, as far as her idea is out there, (if she did care about getting the credit, she would force herself to be assertive...)....anyways, it means that she is the real winner in the end, not the a$$hole....!!!
Good Question...
Additional detalis....
I am confused, were u the nice one in the situation...because if u were then i am glad....and u shouldnt care about the credit....(I wouldnt)
I guess you are right, it is about where we draw the line, between being a b*tch and assertive, but sometimes it is very clear who is being assertive and who is a b*tch!
2007-02-14 15:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by munchkin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this instance, the a$$hole, b/c she is getting the idea out there and taking credit for it. The 'Nice one' is going to have to start getting assertive which means defending her ideas and presenting them clearily and articulately. To be assertive does not mean to become a *****.
2007-02-14 15:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by AthenaGenesis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Nice" isn't always the best policy. Nor can you always take credit for ideas of your own. Someone will always be there to pick up the slack. Our generation is ruled by people who don't know how to think of anything but themselves... unfortunately, this is a cut throat world... and if you want to get anything done right... you have to do it for yourself.
2007-02-14 15:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by just nate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Balance between the 2 is the key to a happy life. I'm not saying its easy, but the struggle to obtain that balance is worth it.
2007-02-14 17:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Dawnmarie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell.
But if the state of the world is any indication, it would seem that we are all losing, given that the ambitious are running this species into extinction.
2007-02-14 15:21:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe in Karma then the a$$hole loses in the end. If you think that death is the end, then you lose!
2007-02-14 15:27:23 · answer #10 · answered by BANANA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋