My spouse of many many years has always claimed that I was her only lover and that she was a virgin when we met. I recently found old letters that suggest she was intimate with another person before our marriage. I confronted my spouse, but she denied and accused me of lack of trust. I have found the person whom I think is her former lover. He is many states away. Should I call him or what should I do?
2007-02-14 06:42:11 · 6 answers · asked by Baxendale 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My spouse of many many years has always claimed that I was her only lover and that she was a virgin when we met. I recently found old letters that suggest she was intimate with another person before our marriage. I confronted my spouse, but she denied and accused me of lack of trust. I have found the person whom I think is her former lover. He is many states away. Should I call him or what should I do?
ADD: In response to Rick N, yes I was also a virgin . . . that we both were has always been a big deal for us.
2007-02-14 08:57:44 · update #1
Trust your wife.
2007-02-14 06:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by clueless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you being so nosey and controlling? What difference does it make at all whether your wife was a "virgin" or not? If it is of such paramount importance to you, then yes, contact the person, stir up the sh1t, and you will be headed straight for divorce no matter what the answer is - because your wife will probably not tolerate this cr@p, and she will be right. Let the sleeping dogs lie, everyone has a past, leave your wive's past alone for christ's sake. WHO CARES??
2007-02-14 15:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you call this man it would open a can of worms that could make everything worse. Do you love your wife less because she had a lover before she married you? Were you a virgin? Focus on your marriage. You don't want to drive your wife away.
2007-02-14 14:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly does it even matter anymore???? unless you think she is cheating on you, it should not matter. maybe she lied to you years ago thinking that was what you wanted to hear but so what, when all is said and done do you love her? does she love you? then get over it. I could undrestand if it was like 50 men before you and you thought she was a virgin but 1 guy??? let me tell you something buddy most women don't count the first guy they sleep with, in fact most women don't count multiple people they slept with lol
in all seriousness though get over it man what difference does it make anymore
2007-02-14 14:49:38 · answer #4 · answered by MATTHEW B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it is a good idea. if you love your wife trust her. if she is lying then she doesnt care for you like she says. if you care for someone you confide in them and are honest with them, because you would want the same. it all comes down to trust
2007-02-18 14:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by AvaZiannDuke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. That's why we call it HISTORY.
2007-02-14 14:45:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋