What to do when someone takes all the credit for a mutual idea?

Question

Okay, I tried to condense this as much as possible:
1. She (well, actually someone close to her!) came up with the skeleton idea. When it worked on her, she recommended it to me -- in private.
2. It worked on me, and I was so impressed that I wanted to tell everyone else. I knew that if only people knew about it, it would be a success. I said as much TO her, but she said she didn't think they'd believe it, and that was why she'd only mentioned it to me in private.
3. She and I have slightly different "methods," but they work equally well. That is, I took her method and honed it, so that it would work for my individual needs.
4. Of my own accord I decided to figure out a way to let people know about this whole thing, in a subtle way, where they wouldn't feel pushed. (I knew that if they felt actively pushed, they'd never go for it.)

So I went out of my way to draw them into being interested on their own. BUT before I even did that, I asked her permission, so I wouldn’t step on any toes. She said she didn’t care… she just didn’t think it’d work to publicize things. But my effort DID pay off -- People became interested! And when people started trying it, they saw success. I was proud of myself!
5. I’ve always felt that credit should be mentioned where credit is due, so every time I mentioned the whole thing, i also mentioned her name, and credited her with the idea.
6. As of the past few days, not only have a ton of people begun to show interest, but she has begun to participate in the public discussion of it. Except – every time it's mentioned, MY own methods (which, again, work equally well) are either omitted by her, or actually badmouthed!

7. This upsets me a great deal, since even though it was technically “her” idea (well, someone’s outside our group, who is close to her) to begin with… Without me (and my deliberate attempt to make it public, despite HER insistence that nobody would listen), it never would’ve gone public in the first place!
8. Her behavior at this point really pisses me off. I feel angry. I feel cheated. I feel I went out of my way to do everything by the book (respectfully credit her at every turn, and make sure I didn’t come off as trying to steal anyone’s idea) and got $hit on in return. I didn’t get any recognition for bringing the idea to the group, and she also completely discredited my methods – which means nobody else will even try them.

9. What should I do? I also wonder:
a) Am I overreacting?
b) Was I being too “nice” initially by trying to credit her at every turn?
c) Is an idea any good if nobody knows about it, or is the SHARING of that idea just as important (and deserving of credit!!) as the initial conception of it?
d) This ISN’T my way – but is the only way to win to trample other people’s ideas, pretend they’re your own, and push your own at all costs??

I’m feeling overwhelmingly frustrated and jaded, especially since I really liked her as a friend before all of this happened. Any of your thoughts/comments/advice would help…. Thanks.

Answer 1

Overreacting, it was originally her idea. Even though you improved on it and shared it, let her have the glory. You gain more by not trying to look desperate, congratulate her, work with her, help her, then when you have an idea on your own tell her to go tell everyone about it =)