has an affair actually helped your marriage by discovering just how much you love them?

Question

have you had an affair or your partner had an affair, and it has actually helped you to face your marriage problems and be happy together?

Answer 1

naw if i had and affair i better be in love with him or either i will be alone

Answer 2

Yes and no. some affairs more stronger than the marriage and it can go on for years. Marriage is a contract between two people. To share all what you got. Even to love and Honor in sickness and in health. some marriage is lives on the sake of children or no other way out. And there are some marriage is very good.

Having affairs may be exciting but once you are with your family you started to compare until such time things goes wrong. if family life is unbearable then you will go to your lover. what will happen if lover turned nasty? go back to family?
Most people try to get back to family. For a secure life. Yes, in this case it will help the marriage but one had too work hard to feel trusted.

Answer 3

Personally I don't need to look for love in all the wrong places just to see what's right in front of my face. If my husband didn't love and appreciate me then I am quite sure we would still be dating. Marriage is a big step. If you are not ready to be monogamous then you should have stayed single.
I feel like when a person has reservations about the relationship they are in... they keep the door to the past open. We have choices today. When feelings and emotions are involved you are treading on thin ice. Be careful.. honeychild. Everything that glitters ain't gold. The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Marriages have problems. That's why there are problem solving solutions like marriage counselors and vacation getaways to build communication skills. Work on yourself. Deal with your demons and love you first. Until you do... your relationship won't work anyway.
Once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 4

No affairs in this marriage - I cannot imagine looking at my husband the same ever again if I found out he had an affair - the trust would be gone and the marriage would be over. I cannot believe that any relationship can be stronger after an affair.

Answer 5

Yes, in a way. A decade ago, we were struggling with many issues, including money and career and kids. My wife had an affair, and actually moved out and asked for a divorce. She moved in with the other man for a few weeks, and they could not get along at all in the same home. She felt so stupid at the end of it all, and she came back to me...apologized...and told me that I was a much better stronger man. She has never quit apologizing, you can still see the sadness and shame in her eyes, and she lets me know every day that I am the man she wants and lusts after. She appreciates me now in a way that she didn't before. I just wish we didn't have to go through hell to get to this, but nobody gave me a free pass to an easy life so we make do as best as we can.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Affairs do not help at all. I found out my husband had an affair, it ripped my marriage apart and it has ended our marriage. It made me realise that he didn't really love me anymore and it was a real wake up call - it helped me face the reality that our marriage was a sham.

Answer 8

It can go either way. I have been separated from my husband, trying to get a divorce and he's been wanting me back, and I recently told him that I am seeing someone, which it's not an affair or even serious, but he finally after all this time, appologized to me for what he did to me and said that he knew he could never have me back b/c he hurt me so much. So, in other words, it could bring out the good from a bad person, or bring out the bad from a good person.

Answer 9

I don't know how cheating ever helped a realtionship in a healthy way - sure some get past it, but there are always harboured feelings.
But what do I know?? Marriage may be different. I just know when a girl cheated on me, I was so hurt I couldn't even look at her without feeling like I couldn't breathe... I did eventually get over it, but again, it's not marriage.

Answer 10

I've never known any affair to help a marriage. The issue of trust would always be there.

Answer 11

UM....I don't see, personally, how an affair either on my part or my husband's part would help any of our issues. We work on our marriage together, what we put into it, we see coming back at us. To put energy into a different relationship would only detract from the one we have together (unless of course it's family/mututal friends non-romantic)