I used to be a bartender at a friend's bar. The owner, Tommy, and i became really good friends. My husband has also known Tommy since Highschool, but was never very close. Well, during the last year, Tommy started dating a friend of mine, and lets just say that he developed some severe jealousy issues. He began to think that i was trying to sabotage his new relationship by bringing up things from the past. This was totally untrue. To the contrary i WAS ecstatic that he met someone and in no way did anything to hurt their relationship. His paranoia, however, got the best of him, and basically she is FORBIDDEN to see me anymore, he has spread terrible rumors about me and my character, and has banned me from his bar. He is certifieably CRAZY! Anyway, I asked my husband not to go into the bar because of the cruel way I've been treated. Guess where he went last night?? I have never felt so betrayed. Of course he doesn't see the big deal and thinks i'm being dramatic. Maybe i am?
2007-02-14 05:38:16 · 14 answers · asked by mstone375 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FYI: Bartending was something i did for extra money. Professionally i'm a social worker and i do not frequent bars. Oh, and i don't live in a trailer park.
2007-02-14 05:57:25 · update #1
Why is your husband going out to bars without you anyway? But I agree....if someone bashes your character your husband should stand by you. He should definitely talk to Tommy about what he said/did, and tell him he does not approve.
2007-02-14 05:45:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Tommys' new g-frien is the one with the issue... anyway don't be a barfly ....get out now before you end up looking like those other hollow faced no teeth women that hang in bars and make it their life. all you'll ever meet in a bar is a drunk and drunks attract drunks
2007-02-14 13:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If Tommy is certifiable then your husband will see this and act accordingly.Why worry-- are you afraid that if Tommy says things to your husband that it will affect your marriage??? Are you really that much in fear of your past??
Besides, if your husband truly loves you he will defend you from unfair and erroneous opinions from other people about you. and even if these things are from your past-- who cares-- I know every single detail of my wife's past ( neither of us were social giants ) and I love her for who she is; not what she may have done before.
2007-02-14 13:48:36 · answer #3 · answered by Master Ang Gi Guong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, this guy did you wrong and your husband needs to support you. The fact that he went there was a total slap in your face. If something like this had happened to me the only reason my fiancee would go in there is to kick some butt.
2007-02-14 13:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by PasoBrio13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you're being dramatic, so what? If someone defames your character and hurts you, then the man who loves you should not "mingle" with that person. He should have enough respect for you to not want to go there, regardless of the fact that you asked him not to. Yes, you absolutely have the right to feel hurt.
2007-02-14 13:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband has every right to visit that particular bar. I wouldn't blame him for going there simply because he has proven one thing, he isn't allowing this childish game people play to stop him from enjoying himself.
You need to move on and quit making a mountain of a problem out of nothing.
2007-02-14 17:05:21 · answer #6 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband needs to get his priorities straight. What's more important, his wife or his drinking? Considering the circumstances, he should not want to go to the bar!
2007-02-14 13:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you are totally justified. He is your husband and should support you. What's more important- his wife and marriage, or going to some stupid bar?!
2007-02-14 13:43:35 · answer #8 · answered by Duchess of Funk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your trailer park people don't have any other hangouts but Tommy's bar, so what's your husband to do?
Jerry!, Jerry! Jerry!
2007-02-14 13:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just because the owner of a bar (and your ex-friend and boss) is a jerk doesn't mean that your husband should boycott it forever. If this is your hubby's favorite watering hole, I see no reason for him to change his life because the owner is a bozo.
2007-02-14 13:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋