My live-in boyfriend is moving out and we are breaking up, but he is still living with me and we seem to be okay, though I have been very anxious and broken up over this because I love him dearly - he just can't deal with relationships I guess.
Anyway, I left him a Valentine's Day card with a letter in it this morning on my pillow. The letter told him that I love him very much and that it's breaking my heart that he's leaving, etc... I told him that I would always love him and so on.
Anyway, here it is noon and I would have thought he would call - but no call. Now I've made myself sick with worry and anxiety. What do I do? It will be five hours before I can go home.
2007-02-14 05:04:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First off let me say how Sorry I am for what you are going through. I've been there and it's not easy having to see someone you're in love with every day and especially on Valentines day.
You need however to pull yourself together and go out and do something or stay in and cry if you need to - no shame in it. Just make a resolve that you've got to grieve over the end of the relationship but KNOW that you will get through it and be all the more stronger as a result. You might not be able to see this now but it's true. Sounds like he's not deserving of you and that Y-O-U deserve better. Just don't be too hard on yourself about feeling sorry for yourself right now. Just don't stay in that state for too long.
Go take in a movie (if you can handle it), go for a walk, do some sporting activity - gym or something or just be with family and friends and begin the process of healing and moving on.
Good luck, much love, xoxoxoxo **hugs**
2007-02-14 07:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Slim Shady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know what he is thinking and there's a chance he doesn't know WHAT to think now!! You didn't say who initiated the break-up. He is probably holding off but he did think about it. I hope you go home this evening and find that he loves you too and everything is forgotten because that would be a perfect Valentine's Day memory for you both.
If he is not there, or is not receptive and brings you nothing, then save your pride by going on as if you don't remember either. You don't want him if he doesn't want to stay with you. And do not seel yourself out by letting yourself Pretend you still feel the same way today. Valentine's Day is a Very Vulnerable day for women, Honey!!
Men often lie when they want to break up and they may leave us girls with high hopes that it might not be the end. That's a Slippery Slope so dont go down there!! If he's leaving, he's through!! Some Men are too cowardly to be Honest and they want to make a Graceful Exit.
You are in one of the Most Stressful Situations a Woman Could Possibly Be in Right Now, especially today when you know other's are in love. You have to see him, live with him a little longer, while knowing he is leaving. If that was His Big Idea, then I will be honest with you. This Valentine's Day would be the Perfect Time to Dump His A** Out the Door for Taking Advantage of the Comfort of Leaving at His Own Convenience (especially if it's because of his bank account) and thereby Prolonging the Agony For You!! If he comes home tonight and hurts you THROW THE B******* OUT!!! TONIGHT!!!! (Sorry but that just burns me up) Good Luck!! @8-)
2007-02-14 05:40:30 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No person has a right to verbally abuse another person, whether they are in a relationship or not. This situation is not your fault. I suggest you let yourself off the hook and take a step back. Take time to breathe. Nothing has to be decided this second, tomorrow or the next day. If your boyfriend loves you like he says you do he will give you some space and time to relax and think things out. As for you best friend, I don't think it is time to start a new romantic relationship if that is a possibility. Make sure to truly end it with your boyfriend (or ex-), give yourself some alone time and then think about a new relationship. Emotions make us run into situations we wish we hadn't after the fact. p.s. Keep talking with your Mom or anyone who is not to close to the situation who will let you vent and will provide you support. If you are so stressed that your getting sick, see your Dr.
2016-05-23 22:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through a similar situation and it can be very heart wrenching . My advice to you is , take time out for yourself . Do something you like and don't allow this to consume your life. You cannot change a mans will , let him go for now and if he comes back then deal with it from there and if he doesn't , move on , and I know this can be hard but you cannot allow this to take over you and control your existence. I hope you have better days. Happy Valentines day hun ! I hope it all goes well .
2007-02-14 05:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by pure_sweetness1984 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that you haven't done anything wrong. He chooses to break this wonderful love between and its his loss.
You've given him much more then he's given you. If you can after work, go to the mall and by yourself something nice. A valentine's gift for you. Then go home make yourself a nice meal and remind yourself that you are a super woman.
You've expressed your feelings and he hasn't responded. Thats a clear sign to me that its truly over.
My advice to you, get him out of your space ASAP! And start moving your love energy towards someone that will appreciate it.
*Hugs*
2007-02-14 05:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by jules 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
think about anything but, and it's tough to do when the mind is obsessed with anything, especially anyone. so let yourself cry yourself out about it,when he's not around. (maybe seek out a group for women, dealing with ending relationships [or not]that has a moderator, get more suggestions on more stuff to help you through this time.)
get some new interests going for yourself! sign up for a class that involves your mind & creativity, that always helps somewhat.
theory: put more new & healthy stuff in the pot, which displaces what's already in there that you are obsessing about...til the pot doesn't have room for the sad crap...
but you do obviously have to deal with your feelings for him.
what are you options? write them all down.
think more about your options ahead of you.
hard spot to be in.
2007-02-14 05:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Auntie M. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably doesn't want to deal with this right now. He knows youre upset, and knows he's the reason and is avoiding confrontation.
Do you worry and stress a lot? I ask because you even chose an avatar that looks worried. Is this your standard way of being?
2007-02-14 05:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact of life is, no guy wants wants a girl who throws themselves at them, the best way to keep him is to move on
Anyway Happy Valentines
2007-02-14 05:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by jimpad 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need some time to yourself to think about what you are going to do in the future and try not think about the past since if you worry too much about the past, then you won't get any where in life. besides, you may find another boyfriend who is willing to listen to you and be with you (and possibly ask you to marry him).
I am sorry for your loss, but you need to get ahead with each second by thinking about what is best for you, not try not to think your life with him.
also, happy valentines day.
2007-02-14 05:14:47 · answer #9 · answered by Roxas of Organization 13 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's time to move on. the stress in your life is him. Start off fresh.
2007-02-18 01:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋