A Little lost in life... please help?

Question

well, im a 20 year old guy and been single all my life. i like keeping fit and im told im good looking but i dont feel that great about myself. I know that i'll stay single until i can like myself but dont really know what to do, i know there no reason not to like myself but i dont. I havn't really got a life, I recently had a chance to pull in a club, i knew she was interested in me and all i had to do was go and chat tp her but i just couldn't i guess i was just scared. it really annoys me any opinions or help would be cool. cheers.

Answer 1

20 and single all your life, eh? Can't imagine finding a lady to be your mate? Well, let's work on that imagination.

First, check your DVD collection. Which actresses seem like the sort of girl you'd like to meet? Not the actress herself, you know, but the way she looks, the way she moves, the tone of her voice. What makes her so charming? Remember that a "real world" girl may not look like that, may not have quite the polish, and undoubtedly will not have nearly as much money. But the actress who most moves you will tell you something about your tastes. Unfortunately, that does not say too much about the ladies' tastes, but there's little you can do about that.

Now. An image is forming in your mind. Starting from this rather unrealistic ideal, look at what makes a good relationship. You have things that are important to you. If she does not understand why they are important, that would not be a good match. So go looking where the things that are important to you happen. Politics? Go to a party meeting. Religion? Go to a worship service. Music? Dance? Stamp collecting? Baseball?

There are women there. (Yes, even female baseball fans.) You have something to talk about, because you can talk about the reason you came to the event. You don't have to think in terms of dating every girl you talk to, or falling in love with every girl you date. Just get some experience talking to girls. Do you feel more comfortable in a group, sharing the conversation with others, and not making it obvious who your "target" is? Or do you prefer to get her alone, or at least out of earshot of others, and talk quietly together? Again, a girl with the same basic style is best.

There's nothing to be scared of. Women rarely bite men who simply speak to them in a public place. The first one who shuts you out will make you feel foolish and embarrassed; it happens to everyone, even very handsome guys. There's not way you can suit all the women in the world, and ultimately, you probably only need to suit one.

One important tip: go slow. Don't start out with sexual innuendo, or trying to grab her body, or dirty jokes. Start with things having nothing to do with sex. Take time to get to know each other. Invite her to have a cup of coffee with you after the meeting. Keep the gender aspects in the background until you get a chance to know her, and she gets a chance to know you. If she finds you sexy, she will let you know.