... and they have no erotic joy in their life because they in effect have no sex partner in their life, and because they are married, they don't want anyone else, and they can't legitimately get with someone else either.
In other words, isn't V-day the everlovin' pits for those forced into sexlessness by their anti-sex or sex averse spouse?
Just reading the cards about how great they make your life cuts like a knive when all you get is neglect and/or sexual rejection.
You don't have to answer publicly if you're ashamed (though it's not your fault). Write to me at my email or
www.groups.yahoo.com/group/swage
www.swagesupport.blogspot.com
2007-02-14 04:46:09 · 12 answers · asked by JRSK007 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like we have a lot in common girl.I know how you feel but as with my situation....you need to decide if the love is stronger than the sex drive,i wish you luck and if you need a friend...email me.
2007-02-14 05:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do cut... I have to agree. Me and my wife are physically NON-inimate (her choice) and have been that way for a few years with on-again/off-again bouts of sexual interest, mostly off. It has been almost a year of complete non-intimacy... the longest yet, so to say that it "cuts like a knife" is an understatement to me.
I have no problem answering this publicly... ashamed as I am, it is not of MY choosing... I am a very sexual creature... the wife, obviously not-so. I pick cards that mostly are reminiscent... looking back at the 'good' times and not so currently talking about our state of love or especially passion, since there is none.
I know I am not alone and there are so many spouses in similar situations... according to recent research, it's an epidemic, sadly. Marriage should be intimate, full of romance and passion, however people CHANGE and sadly, many times those changes are in different directions. That is our case, unfortunately - I cannot figure this woman out... and on Friday the 16th, we celebrate our 16th anny. Not sure how many more we will have, though, although at this point, divorce is NOT an option.
I feel for all those spouses stuck in similar situations... married to an attractive spouse whom you have feelings for and still love without intimacy is like having a nice fancy sports car, but being not allowed to drive it.
2007-02-14 15:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by azcuriousm4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times a person become sexless because of the way they are being treated. Or if the sex is bad, then they really don't have a desire for it. Sometimes sex is overrated and their are really tired of the whole process. Or maybe there's a mental block . You might ever do make their life great or then again it could be just a card. Talk to your wife and find out what the problem is.
2007-02-19 07:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
Valentines day was formed on gestures and romance, where in the above history of st. valentines day does it even mention sex? Just because your spouse is anti-sex doesn't mean that you can't show each other that you care through gestures. I do agree about the cards. I'm in a happy relationship and they made me quesy they are to mushy.
Try a nice dinner with your anti-sex spouse or even go out with a bunch of your girlfriends and have a black valentines.
2007-02-14 12:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
... and they have no erotic joy in their life because they in effect have no sex partner in their life, and because they are married, they don't want anyone else, and they can't legitimately get with someone else either.
In other words, isn't V-day the everlovin' pits for those forced into sexlessness by their anti-sex or sex averse spouse?
Just reading the cards about how great they make your life cuts like a knive when all you get is neglect and/or sexual rejection.
You don't have to answer publicly if you're ashamed (though it's not your fault). Write to me at my email or
www.groups.yahoo.com/group/swa...
www.swagesupport.blogspot.com
2007-02-14 12:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 7⤋
ummm wowo this is a big issue you should spend the day thinking is this the person i really want to be with my whole life if so make today about them spend time relighting that flame
2007-02-14 12:49:40 · answer #6 · answered by reddevil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
V-day is about love and love can be demonstrated in many ways, sex being one of them, but you can also show your love with a card, flowers, candy, a special gift, etc.
2007-02-14 12:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kamy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm, now it's St. Valentine's fault for you making a bad choice of a partner. I see.
2007-02-14 12:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Maybe your anger should be toward your spouse and not Valentine's Day.
2007-02-14 12:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
why not get divorced if so unhappy?
It is fairly easy now-a-days
2007-02-14 12:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋