A question for Medical Doctors?

Question

I have experienced a bit of a personality clash with a few doctors when it concerns my children.
If a Dr. chooses the medical field as his/her profession, why does that make (some of) them feel being a Dr. makes the rest of us less intelligent?
As a parent, I (very often) accurately know the diagnosis of my child before I seek the legal authority of a prescription. Does that offend (most of) you?
I feel like you should listen to me tell you what is wrong with my child and then make a diagnoses, instead of bickering with me over the knowledge I have of my own flesh and blood.
If I have questions, and DON'T know what's wrong, I will clearly state that at the beginning of the consult, and interject when asked specific questions.
I know not all of you are this way, but what makes those of you who are so arrogant?
Respect the fact that I am the mother. Don't challenge my medical knowledge when you walk in the door, and I'll respect the fact that you are the Dr. by career choice.

Here's ONE example...
When my daughter was 2 years old, she awoke one morning with a gray coloring, and was cold and clammy. She was also very lethargic. I thought (through past experience in the medical field) it may have been low blood sugar.
I called our (former) pediatrician to see if we had ever checked her blood sugar levels. He was immediately offended, and began telling me it must be something else based on what I was telling him, and to bring her in.
She was also shaking very badly. I gave her 2 six-ounce boxes of apple juice, and two cookies. She began to feel better after about 10 minutes. I then gave her about 4 more ounces of orange juice. She then was alert enough to get into the car seat for the drive.
Upon our arrival, I asked the nurse to check her blood sugar. It was 56. This was AFTER all the sugar she had just been given.
The Dr. said it was a virus, and sent her home. I bought a glucometer, on my own, and the next am it dropped to 20.
I was right.

Answer 1

I can understand how you feel; but we cannot accept anyone's diagnosis, not even a mother's, as fact. If I did that, I would be prescribing unnecessary antibiotics for nearly every viral illness that came into the office. What we can do is listen, and I certainly hope that a doctor would never be "arrogant" with you.

Remember, however, that we go through a hell of a lot of work to be able to do this job- and after spending the day listening to everyone else's problems, occasionally our patience can run out. If I wrote a prescription for the wrong disease, and there were complications, I would not want to be in my malpractice hearing stating, "well, his mother told me that was the diagnosis, and I just assumed that since she was the mother that she knew what she was talking about."

Our welfare and livelihood are on the line, as well as lives, and I am afraid being a mother is not an adequate substitute for many years of training. That being said, patient input is invaluable, and it should be listened to.

Now- I have a question for you. Let us say you are wrong, and the doctor prescribed the wrong medication because he listened to you. Your child dies, and later a lawyer approaches you describing the millions of dollars you deserve because of the mistake the DOCTOR made. What would you do- say it was your mistake and therefore your fault, or would you sue the doctor? I am fairly confident of the answer, and that answer should provide the necessary insight for you to be able to answer your own question.

Answer 2

You are making a generalization. Not all doctors are like this.

All the doctors I use now (I weeded out the ones that refused to listen to me) listen to me and we decide together what course of action to take. If I am wrong about something, they explain it to me, and this was even before I earned my ASN.

We don't always agree, but we always speak as intelligent professionals and I still am able to look "up" to the doctors as having had more training and experience

They, in turn, however are able to treat me as a 'team member' as all patients should be, and know that there's nothing quite like a mother's instincts.

For instance, after ending up in the mental hospital and being told my son was being considered as possibly bipolar, which I had suspected before but this had been pretty much put on the back burner for consideration. In any case, he had a new psychiatrist that was on the arrogant end of things. He had had a history prior and had been mistakenly treated for ADD (which is a common mistake, I blame no one). While going through the gamut of medication combos I had an objection to one and she started practically yelling at me that "IF" my son was "truly" bipolar then he would need "X", "Y" and possibly "Z". Against my instincts (and based on his prior reactions to different medications) I tried him on the medication she wrote for and his mania was activated immediately -- within 2 days and a reduced dosage (reduced from the minimum) he was still raging.

I found a doctor who looked at our journal and was willing to actually treat the bipolar, and gave him -- you guessed it -- "X" and "Y" -- thankfully he didn't need "Z". We discussed ALL the possible medications and, in detail, his reactions to prior medications and situations. And that's how it should be -- decisions need to be made with the expert advise of a doctor.

Although it took a couple of trials (and we never added or subtracted more than one med at a time) it wasn't long before we found the magic combo that has at long last given us nearly 2 years of stability. Oh, if she could see him now!

So there's the good -- and the bad. Some people really seem to need someone else to make all their decisions. Right now we are breaking in a new psychiatrist (child psychiatrists are so hard to keep -- she moved!) and while he doesn't seem to be quite as bright as she was (sigh) and he definitely has his view on how things should be done, he does at least listen and recognizes that we are the ones at home monitoring the effects of the medications on a day to day basis.

And of course the same thing goes with medical doctors. You just have to find the right ones.

Answer 3

The amount of training, time, commitment and eduction that doctors put into their work is staggering compared to most other professions. Doctors need to listen to their patients, and thankfully, many do. However, if a doctor did not explore all the possibilites surrounding someones current ailments, he/she would not be doing their job. Often one presenting symptom may be the result of something bigger going on with someone's health. For example, your daughter's glucose was low. Something (an infection) could have been going on in her body resulting in low glucose levels. For the doctor to just treat the glucose and not the underlying problem would be irresponsible and negligent.
I am not a doctor, I am a nurse (formerly ICU, now in school for nurse anesthesia). I can tell you that I have had many patient family members tell me "exactly" what is going on with the patient, and yes, to them that is what is happening. However, they tend to miss the big picture and focus in on smaller pieces. It gets so incredibly frustrating to try and do my job when people who only have some idea are telling me what to do. Do you like it when people (no one you work with) come in and tell you how to do your job? Although it can be well intentioned, it is insulting. I always do my best to respect my patients and their families because they know this person better than anyone else, and it can be so helpful to get their input. However, when that crosses the line to telling me I am wrong and I don't know what I am doing, it is hard to stay respectful and polite.
You need to be able to trust your doctors, and they should be respectful of your place as the mother. If you consistently undermine them at their profession, at their place of business, then I am sure they will be less and less receptive to your input. You have medical knowledge of your children and their health to an extent as their mom, someone who knows them and sees them every day in many different ways. But you have not put in the incredible number of hours dedicated soley to health care to think your opinion shouldn't be challenged. If the doctor just listens to you and does what you want them to do, they would not be a good doctor. They need to assess the situation and make their own diagnoses.

Answer 4

So what is the malpractice here? Not telling you (assuming they knew) has posed no risk to your child unlike if it were a heart condition or suchlike, and what could they have done? Judging by the quality of ultrasound pictures I very much doubt that the deformed facial features were obvious, I can only just make out the vague shape of the baby. Even if they had known and told you what would you have done, had an abortion? not very good being seen to not want a child because his face is slightly deformed! I think you are just angry and want to take it out on someone, go ahead if you like but the whole case would rest on being able to determine the deformity from the ultrasound and even if you could I doubt you'd win. Sorry but there probably isn't much you can do.

Answer 5

Well, this is an interesting one. You claim to be intelligent, yet lack the insight to your own question? not to mention you seem controlling and stubborn. Anyways, here goes;

First of all you are seeking a "legal" prescription and that has a procedure to follow in order to obtain it and part of that is the all so important "diagnoses" which the Doctor needs to be well rounded in order to avoid getting sucked in to totally believing or listening to ONLY you.

Reason; you might be wrong, yes you wrong! and because it's his or her license and malpractice on the line and ultimately you (would) will file suit against them for a improper diagnosis and not them against you, see why they can not let you diagnose the child?

In reading your question it appears you are a little frustrated with your short comings and a little insecure with your level of intellect not being recognized, learn to respect the Doctors authority and process of elimination rather then challenging his authority and intellect.

Answer 6

I'm not a physician (but I am a "doctor"). It is important to understand that the average American reads at about a 5th-6th grade level. If the doctor knows you or if you were involved in a true argument, I see why you could be upset.

But don't expect a doctor to treat you differently because you're a mom. How is he/she supposed to know that you are above this elementary school average. There are uneducated mothers out there you know.

Answer 7

You have not told us what medical training you have?
I doubt that just being the mother of the child makes you qualified to diagnose anythng more than the simplist of illnesses. Do your child a favour and listen to the dr. They are not trying to make you look stupid. They are trying to help you.

Answer 8

Yeah okay. You know the diagnosis because the child is your flesh and blood and you have no medical training.

Thats like you telling a mechanic what is wrong with your car because it is your car.

That is like telling a computer tech what is wrong with your computer because you own it.


You don't know everything. You would probably poison your children if the doctor was not there to intervene.

Answer 9

Boy, I bet the doctor "loves" to see you coming. You sound bossy and arrogant. YOU make the doctor act the way he does, because you come off as a know-it-all. A doctor you are not.

Answer 10

kinda like know it all rolls eyes...if your know so much about medicine why do you go to the doctor , there are plenty of home cures out there. In reality I would offer my suspicions but I would listen to the doctor he sees this stuff day in and day out.