Why they always choose the one they truly love OVER the one who loves them very much...?

Question

Or if you choose the one who loves you much,,,,,,Why is it so...?

Can you trully be TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS???

What's the best thing to do not to hurt the one who you will not choose...? Please help....

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Answer 1

HEART has a MIND of its own... it always choose the one he loves,,,,,

Sometimes love really really HURTS,,,,,, you have to be TOUGH if you want to love....

You can't be torn between to lovers,,,,, there will always be ONE who will win your heart over the rest,,,,,,,

Honesty is the only way,,,, though i know it will really HURT,,,,,



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Answer 2

There is no easy answer, it depends on the individual.

I notice, however, you are focusing on the one YOU want and not on someone who wants you. I would say that is the pot calling the kettle black; I doubt you can see it though, you are too close to the situation.

It is easy to build a fantasy future filled with happiness. I call it the "pink haze" or blind love. It is only a few shades off from the "red haze" of blind anger, and if someone is not careful they can be lost in the anger very quickly.

Love is built on years of actually supporting eachother and counting on eachother. Love is family and friends like family. Obsesion is wanting someone whether they want you or not.

Unfortunately, most of us need to have some reality checks before we can really start understanding love; I did. Like most people, I had expectations that had to be broken down before I could have an honest relationship with the real person I was dating instead of the fantasy of who I immagined them as.

Answer 3

Yes, I believe you can be torn. So much is involved with "love". Have you ever thought of the speculation and trust that goes into "yes, I will be yours forever." One needs to be very careful and weigh the way they feel. Is it because of what is - or because of what you want it to be? I also believe no matter how gentle you are, if your not choosing someone who loves you it will hurt them - but it is for the best. Choosing the one you love is an unselfish act.

Answer 4

I have been there before. There was a guy who claimed to love me heart and soul. He swore he'd do anything for me. Move heaven and earth to be with me. But, in the end he was a little...off balance and after 3 years of on again, off again he was still no closer to even just meeting me face to face. Somewhere in there, just over a year and a half ago...I met the love of my life. We just...clicked. It was rough going because of outside interference including this other guy.
But we are together now and I realized I had to get this other man out of my life completely. He couldn't even be my friend because he'd always want more and would interfere. I had to let him know. He didn't like it, he freaked told me he was gonna kill himself, but I had to remain firm. IMHO actions speak louder than words and he did not act like a man in love. Plus there was no getting around the fact that I was head over heels for someone else.
At the time I wasn't sure how things were gonna work out with my dream man. But regardless I was willing to take a chance...for love.

Tell the one you didn't pick that you are sorry and you do care. But it wouldn't be fair to them for you to be with them if your thoughts lie elsewhere. If you feel you and they can handle it.
Tell them you can remain friends and keep in touch.
But also know when and where to draw the line. Good luck.
God bless

Answer 5

It's all about how they feel. Lets say you went out with a girl a few times and thought she was nice and she was in love with you but you weren't that interested in her, then you met someone you feel in love with and had to choose one... who would it be? The one that your not that interested in even though she's in total love with you or the one your in love with? Relationships are never easy.

Answer 6

You simply have to listen to your heart. Make a por con list, then throw it away. The one who you think about right before you go to sleep at night. Or the one you want to see when you wake up. Someone will end up getting hurt. That's just the way life is. Just be as gentle as possible.

Answer 7

I THINK YOU CAN BE TORN BETWEEN TO LOVERS. IF YOU OR HER ARE MARRIED OR EXCLUSIVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE... YOU OR HER NEED TO TRY HARDER FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. I KNOW IT SUCKS...I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.

Answer 8

woman always chose who they marry

Answer 9

What in the world is the difference between loving a person, and being attached to them? Love is the sincere wish, for others to be happy for others and free from suffering. Having realistically realized other’s kindness, as well as their faults, Love is Always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have no ulterior intensions or motives to fulfill our own self-interests; or to fulfill our own desires, we love others, all people, simply because they exist. Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others’ good qualities, and makes us crave to be with them. When we’re with them, we are happy, but when we’re separated from them, we’re miserable. Attachments are always linked with expectations of what others should be, or what they should do for us. Is love, as it is understood in most societies, really love OR attachment ? Let us examine this a little more. Generally speaking, we are attracted {drawn to) people because they have qualities we value, or because they help us in some way. If we carefully observe, through introspection, our own thought processes we’ll notice that we very often look for specific qualities in others. Some of these qualities we are drawn to are qualities within our parents, or qualities which society values.
We examine someone’s looks, education, social status, financial status, and so forth. This is how Most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value, or not. In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they praise us, encourage us, help us, if they listen to what we have to say, if they make us feel secure, if they take care of us when were sick, unhappy or depressed, we consider them good, or sometimes righteous people, and these are the people we more drawn to, whom we are most likely attracted to, and the people we choose to be around with.
In all honesty, this is very biased, for we are judging them, only in terms of how they relate to us, as if we are the most important person in the world & thinking the world revolves around us! After we’ve judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them, it appears to us as if goodness is radiating out from within them, but as we are more mindfully aware, we realize that we have projected this goodness on to them.
Desiring to be the people who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo’s, when we’re with these people, we’re up, but when we’re not with them, we’re down. Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with these people will be, and thus have expectations of them. “When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we’re unhappy, disappointed or may even become angry. We want them to change so that they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from other people. Our problems arise not because others aren’t who we thought they were, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they were not. We often use a type of Checklist also. Checklist: “I Love You IF ___________ !” This Love is Conditional and what we call love, is most often attachment. It is actually an attitude which overestimates the qualities of another person.
’Then we cling tightly to that person, thinking our peace and happiness depends on that person. We even often blame that person for our unhappiness.’ Love, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, optimistic and relaxed attitude. We want others to be free from suffering and to be happy simply because they exist. While attachments are uncontrolled, and too emotionally sentimental, Love is Patient, powerful, and controlled(disciplined). Attachment obscures our judgment {our ability to make sound, wise decisions), and we become impatient, angry, and impartial – helping our dear ones, and those who do us no harm. Love clarifies our mind, & we access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on selfishness, while love is founded on valuing, & cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to us. Love always looks beyond all the superficial appearances and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want peace of mind, happiness, and wish to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, or unintelligent people we most often feel repulsed, because our selfish minds want to find attractive, intelligent, and talented people. On the other hand, Love never evaluates others by theses superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others appearances, they’re experiences are they same as ours: they want inner mental peace, happiness, and wish to be from suffering. When we’re attached, we’re not mentally, emotionally, & spiritually free. For we overly depend on, and cling to another person, to fulfill our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We fear losing the person, fearing that we’d be incomplete without them.” This does Not mean that we should suppress all our emotional needs, or become aloof, and totally independent, for that too would not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs and slowly, gently and patiently – seek to eliminate them. If we try to suppress them, pretending they do not exist, we become insecure, anxious, or possibly depressed. In this case, we do our best to fulfill our needs, while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them. The core problem is that most of us seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others, rather than to understand them. Our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfish obscuring of our own minds. We develop confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a Selfless human being, having many magnificent qualities, then we’ll develop and have an accurate perception of ourselves, gaining self-confidence. We’ll seek to increase true unconditional love, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience, as well as generosity, right concentration and wisdom. Under the influence of attachment, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. When they’re nice to us, we’re happy, but when they ignore us or speak sharply to us, we take it personally, and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted, rather without attachments, there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine affection and impartial love for them. And as a result, we’ll be more actively involved with them. As we learn to transform our minds & lives, through subduing our attachments, we can definitely have successful friendships, and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer, more meaningful because of the freedom and respect the relationships are based on. We’ll really care about the happiness and misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same inside: we all want inner peace of mind, Happiness, and to be from suffering.
However, of course, our lifestyles and interests may be a bit more compatible with some people. Our friendships and our personal relationships will be based on mutual interests, and to help other people. Having such an attitude, we’ll be much More Patient, & tolerant toward others; will remain mentally calm, having Peace of Mind and Happiness, and we’ll communicate successfully with others in life.

SOURCE: THUBTEN CHODRON.