How much does a woman have to overlook to be married and be happy?

Question

just curioius. I think it takes a lot to be married but just looking for ideas for the future.

Answer 1

If you marry a good man, the only thing you need to overlook are small personality quirks that you also have.

Answer 2

Well, let me put it backward. When you date, you dont want to overlook anything. Many people see how someone is when they date, but try to convince themselves they can love it out of the other, the other will change, you can simply overlook the things you dont like, etc. Ten years later, all that person does is scream how they hate the other person, for being just who they were when the couple dated. So make sure you actually like, appreciate and are honest about how the person is and how you are, before you marry.

Now, to your question. You have to overlook a lot. Of course, if you are being what you are suppose to be, unselfish, caring, etc, it is easier to do. We all have flaws and need overlooked at times. Next, you also have to be honest and see the things in yourself that need overlooked by others at times.

I would also add this. You will get mad at the way the other person acts or you may at times act wrongly because you are mad or they dont do as you wish or ask. Make sure that you are not guilty of doing the same things as they do. Make sure you are not acting in a way that gives them justifications to act badly, ignore you, blow you off.

I would suggest that you pick up a Bible and study 2nd Corinthians. It gives us the ideals that will help us have a good marriage. It tells us the charactoristics of real love.

Answer 3

I personally think that's a great question. I have had an opportunity to evaluate that same thing lately. I'm in a relationship where I've had to deal with a lot; cheating, verbal abuse, physical abuse, you name it. The really hard thing is, we have really good times that could almost outweigh those bad things. But that brings me right back to your question. How much do you have to overlook, forgive, sweep under the proverbial rug, and essentially put up with to give yourself the illusion of bliss?

Here is my thing. I know that most people are never going to find a mate or a match that is PERFECT. We are human and every one of us has flaws and quarks that annoy and piss other people off. However, I think that if you do find the right match, there shouldn't be too many of those things that you have to overlook to convince yourself that you're happy. They say that the first 2 years of a relationship are the hardest, but past that I really think that it should not be as hard if you are meant to be.

On the marriage tip, I have never been, and I will not get married unless i am 100% positive that for me, it's the last person I am ever going to be with. Obviously you can't control your partner, and people fall out of love, but if I am going to make those vows, it will be forever. I think that far too many people take marriage very lightly. Divorces are so commonplace people automatically store that in the back of their heads as a back door.

The bottom line to me: don't settle. Life is far too short to be unhappy or to be satisfied with average. Yes, overlook flaws if you are in love with someone, but know where to draw the line. People don't change. As much as we all want to believe they can, they can't. They can only change their actions. If the person you're with isn't right for you, you know it, listen to your instincts.

Sorry, rambling, I know.

Answer 4

if you are considering a certain man or men, and you are looking at their faults and wondering if you can accept them, these are not the men you should be contemplating marriage with. When you find a man, become friends, and you see all these wonderful things that make you smile, make your heart beat faster, his smile that melts you inside, the way he looks at you, his scent, his mannerisms, his voice, then you know, its love, the little quirks you will find later, are just that, quirks and you have them too, get over the small stuff and concentrate on all the many wonderful things he brings to your life.

Answer 5

What are you over looking. Marriage is bond of trust and respect. With both of you have to compromise and at times both of you will have to accomadate. So ya it does take a lot to keep your bonds together. But your Love for each other should strengthen as time goes on.

Answer 6

Being selfish, you cannot be selfish and be married and happy.

Marriage is about the other person and the children.

Selfless/immaturity on either one or both parties spells disaster.

Thinking the rules applies just to women is sexist which is a selfish behavior in itself.

Answer 7

I think it is more a matter of compromising than overlooking.

Overlooking implies bad traits when, in actuality, we all have traits that require tolerance from other.

It's just that women seem to keep track of the things they don't like about their men and men look past the things they don't like about us, because they couldn't love us if they did keep track.

Men are too logical to settle for a woman filled with traits they know they don't like, so they don't let it bother them.

We take longer to get ready to go out than they do, do you think they understand this? They tolerate it.

Do they understand why we change our shoes or dresses or lipstick three times before we leave? No, but they tolerate it.

Do they understand why it is that we can tell everyone we know how wonderful they are, how fabulous they are doing, and yet we rarely think to tell our hubbies how wonderful they really are? No, because if they did think about it they would be sad and feel unappreciated, kind of like some women do when their man doesn't instantly praise them for something.

After all, if your man wasn't wonderful why are you together?

I learned in the beginning to tell hubby he looks nice in something he is wearing, because men actually take time to pick out their clothes even if it doesn't look it. I tell him he smells nice because he took the time to put on smellies for me. I thank him for going to work on days when he just wants to sit home in front of the fire and play with the dogs because, he does what he doesn't want to do...for me.

Don't think he does what he does for himself. Inside a man's mind he is constantly juggling a thousand female balls that he doesn't really understand but is aware of. He doesn't like our new hair color, he hates it in fact but, does he say this? Duh, he isn't stupid, he tells us what he knows we want to hear. He tolerates what he doesn't like about us, to make us happy and to make his life easier.

Do we do that? Do you look at that ugly jersey he has on for the dinner date tonight and tell him he looks great or do you groan and ask him if he's wearing that? See?

It's all about compromise. Nobody is so well put together and so wonderful a human being that they can afford to point out the flaws they perceive in others, especially their spouse.

Can you imagine if men didn't tolerate what they don't like in us? If they didn't overlook our faults?

Yeah, women overlook a lot in their men but most of the time we let our men know we are overlooking things. Can you imagine if men treated us like we treat them? Something to think about.

Answer 8

If God was one of us and we didn't know it and was fat, bald, ugly, poor, amputee, smart as a box full of rocks, etc, etc. I'm sure some women would love him regardless. Those women are my hero's.