We have kids so I have to be in touch with him. But I hate the sight of him. How did you get over it?
2007-02-14 03:44:23 · 17 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have heard that an average time is a year and a half, (which incidentally I also read is an average time in a marriage it takes for sex to become boring.) Distance helps. I didn't hate my ex when he traveled over the country trying to keep different jobs. (a hint, perhaps of one of the problems?) When he was close by, there were endless nasty issues like child support arrears, visitation, etc. So although I stopped hating my ex years ago, anger still rears its ugly head now and then.
If the sight of him makes you sick, of course there are ways of doing the visitation stuff with minimum of contact. If there is another woman and he sort of flaunts her, or she is visible...yuck, that could keep the hatred burning for a long time. Jealousy is a wretched, wretched state that just keeps feeding itself. And I don't have any clue as to a remedy for that.
I stopped hating my ex three years after the divorce, but friendships helped. Even a "best friend" kind of thing with a man helps, because really, you don't want to ease the pain with another man. It won't work. If you just need a shot of sex, fine. But being buddies with men fulfills a lot of your need at this time.
Don't do blind dates; they're a waste of time and potentially dangerous. I don't know anyone who has found their soul mate online. Where to meet men is a whole other topic.
So, for me, it was about a year and a half. I still couldn't stand him most of the time, but I didn't hate him any more. We can actually laugh and sometimes he's the only person who can crack me up.
Good luck. Sorry to sound trite, but time will heal.
2007-02-14 04:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by brig1gand 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. I hate my ex, he is the father of my child but we never married. Everytime I look at him I want to throw up! He disgusts me in ways I cannot mention and I will never get over the hate I have for him. I wish I could give you an answer. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, maybe it will heal your hate. Give it time and I wish you the best.
2007-02-14 08:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by journeysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex is lying in the hospital today coughing up blood. I've always been a really compassionate and loving person, but I can't say that I'm feeling one way or the other about his situation.
I think I may be getting over him ... What do you think?
It has been seven years
2007-02-14 05:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way he reacts toward you may have something to do with why you feel this way. Hate is a harsh word and you should love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, so, get over jeopardizing you life over spilled milk. What's the saying about killing evil with "kindness", just treat him like you want to be treated and it will keep him in turmoil. He won't know how to take your actions. LOL
2007-02-14 03:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I officially started hating my ex June 1999. I still hate him and I avoid him as much as possible. Which seems to be easy. I make sure I get my child support though. My daughter doesn't like him and it's no influence from me. (smile)
2007-02-14 03:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's been 3 years and i can't say i like the man, so actually i don't think we ever move past the things that caused the breakup. some days when i think of all the crap my ex put me through i realize i still hate the man. trying hard at this thing called forgiveness though, as unforgiven just makes us bitter inside.
2007-02-14 03:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to realise that this has to hurt those children that didnt ask to be brought into this world. You two should act like adults. You are free of him he is free of you. To be civil and to realise that life moves on. You need to let go of the past or you will never be happy.
2007-02-14 03:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About 8 years it took me to stop hating him. I'll never get over what he has done, but I learned to deal with it.
2007-02-14 03:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by Marjory Stewart Baxter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The day the divorce was final. I no longer had to listen to his BS. The phone is a wonderful invention, due to the hang up feature!!!
2007-02-14 03:48:12 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I got me a man, but in your case think about your kids. They don't need to see you fighting the there dad.
2007-02-14 03:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋