My husband has changed so much since we moved back to his hometown. I left my whole family behind. And now I feel like I don't have anyone anymore. Just in the past week my husband has left me at home for hours at a time when he was only supposed to be gone for a few minutes. I don't know what to do anymore. I stopped asking him where he was or what he was doing because I fear that one day he might say something that could really hurt. We have been married less that a year and have a baby on the way, he was so loving at first I don't know what changed.
2007-02-14 03:21:24 · 18 answers · asked by sweetpea4192 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I tried talking to him this evening but he sort of dismissed the subject at first but are taking one step at a time I hope talking works or I am afraid that it won't change until after the baby is born. I don't think I can handle the stress for the next 20 weeks.
2007-02-14 14:52:46 · update #1
If you really feel that he isn't attracted to you anymore, then it's time to leave. I wouldn't want to be with someone that is not returning the feelings.
2007-02-14 03:43:14 · answer #1 · answered by Marjory Stewart Baxter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, where to start? I have felt like this with m boyfriend. And I don't know how long you two have been together or how deep your relationship is, but this is all what depends on how you are doing right now. I believe in going with your gut instinct. You feel that you should just wait in the background and let him do his thing and maybe, someday, he will realize that you are there and he'll start to be loving again. Girl, speak up. You are not just there to take care of home, you're his woman, he should be paying attention to you too. You have not been married 50 years as to where it's not a big deal that he has his own space and time. Cool, if he wants to have some "me-time", that's fine, but hello...you have a wife and a baby on the way, that's inappropriate. Wake him up to this. Let him know that you understand he needs his time to himself, but that you two live together and you're a family now, something you are partially missing since you don't live in your home-town anymore. There are some men and some women who are just so independent it makes me sick. I understand wanting to take care of yourself and have that assurance that you could do well on your own, I think we all need that, but when you get married, there's not just you anymore, there's you and your significant other and possibly some rug rats running around, but most importantly, marriage is uniting two people who supposedly love each other. I just think he needs to mature a little more. Good luck with this.
2007-02-14 03:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by Girl, Empty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two lack communication skills... so if a nice long chat isn't going anywhere, you need to get into a few sessions of counseling to make your needs and wishes known. Few people really know how to do this without resentment and rage... And what changed??? Guys are very confused when their wives become pregnant --- suddenly you went from being a lover, to about to be someone else's mom, and guys have problems with that, particularly if you had not talked about children and a family and all that the sacrifices that that involves..... before you became pregnant...... He himself isn't sure what has happened.... because children are traumatic to the romantic relationship, not binding. In your place? Even if he will not go with you for a session or two of family counseling, you should go, so you understand where he is coming from... good luck, hon...it is extremely complicated, but you need to know.
2007-02-14 03:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him - no blame games, no whining, no nagging, and let him know how you are feeling inside.
If this is his hometown area, he may know of places where you can go meet other young newlyweds or Mom's with little ones. You need to have opportunity to get out and meet people and have some social interaction. That will make you a more interesting person, both to yourself and to him.
Don't cling to him, don't be totally dependent on him for all of your social interactions. That gets extremely boring and begins to feel like an anchor around your neck.
Good luck - it is very hard being a newlywed in a strange town with a little one on the way. I did it and it was really, really hard for quite some time until I started to make the changes.
2007-02-14 03:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
an easy way to get him back is by making him realize his mistakes without nagging him. DONT NAG!...its the worst thing a women can do to a man.....it makes it worse!
1. Pretend everything is cool. Be nice to him.
2. Dont pretend to be too nice (that will make him aware that you are acting)
3. Conversate with the man and try to make him cheer/smile or something, then...hit him with the " babe, im going to my moms" or some where that is away from him and close to someone else that cares for you. Tell him you miss them.
4. Try not to do step 3 in a nagging way, cuz men hate women who nag. Dont make it seem like thats was the idea you were tyrin to get across
5. Still play it cool.
By now he should realize that something is not going right in the relationship, hes going to ask questions and aim for a urgement because he doesnt want to make it seem its his fault that he's not around. Soon enough it'll hit him beside his head and come to a realization that he is not making his wife happy and shes deciding to leave "home"....
2007-02-14 07:33:23 · answer #5 · answered by mBreeZe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about how you're feeling.
He's your husband, should you not feel that you can talk to him about anything ??
If something is going on, would you not want to know about it ??
Better now than years from now.
Just so you know, this may put you at ease a bit. When I was expecting a baby, my husband became distant also, but once the baby came, everything was ok.
Men seem to deal differently about babies and pregnancies and those sorts of issues. Just be patient with him, but I would still talk to him about it.
Good Luck !!
2007-02-14 07:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by M.O. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be a lot of things bothering him.. One is all the changes to his life may be overwelming, recently married, baby on the way, etc. Also, some guys get turned off when their wife is pregnant. You need to talk with him,,maybe see a counsler>? Don't give up yet,, give him the benifit of the doubt and try to work through this. Marriage isn't easy and it takes a lot of work from BOTH sides... TALK to him, yeah,, it may hurt,, but it may give you the ANSWER you are seeking!
2007-02-14 03:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say it but your husband is cheating on you or at the least is looking around. my husband did the same thing. i am sure that if you asked around you will also finde out that he is talking bad about you behinde your back. i busted my husband a beet the crap out of the girl then i got a devorce. i moved with him to his home town and left every one i knew behinde me. i even quit school to make him happy. i now realise that i should have never have done it. i may have loved him but he did not love me the same way. you can catch him in the act if he uses the computer. i can teach you how. just im me and i will explain how to catch a cheat. sorry about the bad news but finally getting everything in the open will feel so much better, and you wont hit the deep depression that i went through.
2007-02-14 04:43:21 · answer #8 · answered by kris s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel your pain, I know when I was pregnant I couldn't stand for my husband to touch me, he even started to repulse me, but as soon as I wasn't pregnant anymore I resumed the affection, sometimes its the men feel the side affects of their spouse's pregnancy. That may not be it but I would sit down in a calm setting with him, without argueing or yelling and ask him to tell you what has changed between your relationship. If he starts to open up don't interupt listen to his whole speal and then respond. I wish you the best of luck
2007-02-14 03:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by skszilor 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go Home. I made the same mistake. Five years into this, he met someone else. He moved out. Now I ralize that all those people that I thought were my friends are his friends. They all just accept him abandoning the wife (me) and the kids and even have the other woman over for social events. Go home. Better now than later. Slso, you can meet a new man with a young baby.
2007-02-14 03:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It wasn't such a great idea to move to his hometown. He has friends there that he's probably known his entire life. Insist that he take you out with him to meet these people. Don't put up with being left home alone.
2007-02-14 03:27:15 · answer #11 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋