Wife wants me to stop child support?

Question

my soon to be ex.wife wants me to stop child support on her. The state started taking money out her check.She 3 month in the rears with her child support.Now she have to paid child support,car payment,lawyer and her parents to stay at their house.After paying all them poeple she clears less than 100.00 a month. Plus we have to wait 6 month to go to court for divorce.I file for divorce against her in 2004 but i didn't follow though.I thought she wanted to patch up the marraige. She came back to the marraige and save her money and got a lawyer.The kids want us to get back together.I told my wife no matter what happens me and you have to raise the kids together.You have to choose the streets or your family.2nd if you come back I'm not going to drop the child support against you.

A week before my wife left the house.She drove around with her cloth in the car for a week.She left me with the kids, Now since i have child support on her.My wife now pick the kids up from school for 3 hr(mon-fri)and she have them on the weekend.My wife live in county,I live in the city and the kids go to school in the city.NO one has custody.The reason she paids child support,she didn't want to go in front of the judge.The child support poeple told her she can see the judge.(she refuse).Now she realize she has to pay child support for 15 years she got her self a lawyer.Even her lawyer ask her why she sign the paper without seeing the judge.

Answer 1

I don't know the circumstances, but if she left, had an affair, or some other family destroying behavior, I find it very difficult to feel sorry for her.

Actions have consequences. Her actions must be pretty bad if a judge awarded custody and child support to the father.

She doesn't need to drive a car that she has to make payments upon, she can sell the car, get out of debt and buy something she can buy with cash.

Lawyer, that seems to be her decision and certainly is not necessary for day to day living.

She has some tough choices to make and it appears from what you are writing that she is looking for you to bail her out.

Answer 2

I am not sure of what your question is here.. Be careful that she is not coming back to you just for financial reasons.
Keep in mind what is best for your kids..

When it come to paying child support from either party, it seems the kids always get in the middle. Argument after argument about the CS checks and the kids see this.. Don't let them know you are discussing this and don't get them involved.. It causes damaged. Both parties get resentful do to lack of payment or having to pay and the kids feel/see this. Then the non-custodial parent won't come around the kids due to resentment toward the custodial parent.. OR the Custodial parent won't let the non-custodial parent see the kids because of non payment and resentment.

Hey, if you are together now, just wondering, why does it matter that your getting her monies for support? You share it don't you..
If you are not sure about the relationship I would keep it as is..especially if she is looking for a lawyer she just might be trying to get custody also.. and if you drop the support she might have a better chance..Since the support is already set up the judge will prob. honor that and you will still have custody.
Oh, by the way when she files her taxes & gets a return (being in the arrears) if you ask your CS case worker, if you want, they will hold the tax return monies & give it to you for arrears support.


I feel Non-custodial parents should pay support regardless of the gender.. I have a female relative and she is suppose to pay and she doesn't and it upsetting! I get sick of hearing about Dead Beat Dads!! There are Dead Beat Moms also~ Don't worry about how much support they take out of her wages. That is based on a percentage of income they make, for both genders.. I know, my husband pays and I receive. Non-Custodial Mothers should not get a waiver/privileges just because she is a woman!


I hope I understood your statement. Good luck to you & your children.........

Answer 3

Why should you bear all the burden? you should keep the child support order. Have you guys tried counseling? She should help out even if that means not having any money. I go thru the same thing with my hubby. He was other children that he has to pay child support on. We also have a child together. He works two jobs just to ba able to keep up. The children are the ones who suffer, and I commend you for wanting to do the right thing.

Answer 4

Don't drop the child support if the shoe were on the other foot you would have to pay. She can get a cheaper car, which would get rid of the car note, and work a second (part-time) job so she has pocket money. I mean she's not raising the children so she has the time to work another job. Stick to your child support, your children will appreciate it in the future.

Answer 5

Follow through with the divorce first. Your wife is an adult, I assume and she should act as such. Being an adult means that you should have learned some degree of responsibility, she has children right? So...paying to stay with her parents (her choice if she doesn't want to be with you), paying car notes (responsibility of using a vehicle), and paying child support (having children and helping raise them with the other parent is another one of your responsibilities). I'm sorry, I don't feel bad for her at all. Anyway, do what you think is best, of course the kids will want to see you two together, but it just isn't working. Good luck.

And one more thing, I think Daft is writing what he/she's written just to get some negative attention. Children should be with people who will take care of them and treat them well. Some mothers don't do that, some fathers don't do that. There are some aunts and uncles and cousins that end up raising these children, or even a complete stranger that may be a foster parent. Your thoughts are your thoughts and your opinions, Daft, but you are wrong for assigning a child to their mother just because you think women would be able to take care of them better. How about this story for you? http://www.amw.com/fugitives/case.cfm?id=25676 How does that one sound to you? Or, how about this one, http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=2737698 or this mother http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Central/10/18/children.dead.ap/index.html. Before you make your judgments about fathers raising their children, you should think about how children are not always best to be with their mothers. Think before you type. And also, to Tia, a man that raises his children and provides for them financially and who has cause to accept child support for a woman, accepts it. What makes a woman any different than a man for being obligated financially for a child they've both created? Get real, you're not living in the 50's anymore. Women are able to get up and get out and work too. We are not as weak to say that we need to be supported by a man just because we can bear children. Learn how to take care of yourself first, that might be your issue, then you can bring life into this world and accept anything that comes with your responsibility.

Answer 6

My mom and dad have been divorced when I was about 4 years old and now they're both re-married to other people. When I turned 18, my dad stopped paying child support, but he has to pay 50% of my college tuition, books, etc. He's supposed to pay 50% of my apartment as well, but he doesn't do that... my mom does. He actually doesn't really pay for much anyways. I can get him to pay for college sometimes, but it takes a while to get the money. My mom has to pay for all of it and then he'll finally pay half at least a month later. Most fathers want to help their kids, especially when they have a grandchild involved. I wouldn't just give money to the mother though.. I would give it to the daughter to help her pay for stuff she needs. I think your husband needs to handle this though and not you. Since you're the step mother, you might end up looking like the "bad guy". Just let your husband handle this and then whatever he decides to do, don't argue with him about it... it won't help your relationship with him any. Don't mess up your marriage because of this. I don't know if your marriage is messing up or not because of this.. I just know that sometimes when two people disagree about something like this, it doesn't help the marriage at all. Where is the baby's daddy? I think he should have to pay for stuff.

Answer 7

All you men haters.

There is a higher percentage of dead-beat moms then dads.

I believe in self-reliance and no child support and the most responsible parent taking the children and the other one staying out of the picture.

The courts look at this a bit different --

This women is selfish and needs a home, a man would go out and get two jobs to pay the support and then get higher payments because he made more money -- so he'd get a third job (and even higher payments) . She's a piece of trash and probably belongs on the streets.

-- don't let yourself be the door mat. That's not teaching your son's how to be a man that is teaching your son's how to get used.

Answer 8

I agree that if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn't care less what you had to live on after child support. She needs to get another job or pick up pop cans to make her obligation if she needs more money for herself. Why should she be any different than a man who has to pay? No one cares if a man has no money to live off or to pay his own bills. If she is living with her parents, what bills does she really have? Why should you have to pay for everything??? TOO BAD!

Answer 9

This happens to men all the time.........they are her children, too, and she needs to help support them. Maybe if she hadn't gotten so far behind in the first place she wouldn't have put herself into the boat that she is in now.

Many men take second jobs just to be able to support themselves and make child support payments. There is no reason that she shouldn't be exempt from having to do something similar.

You hear a lot about "dead beat dads".....there are quite a few of "dead beat moms" out there, too.

Don't stop child support on her!!!!!!

Answer 10

Sounds like you two are better off apart and see each other for your children's sake. DO NOT stay together for your children's sake. I know this from experience. My parents did this and then divorced when I was in my late 20's and it tore me and my sister apart to have to deal with such hostility that our folks had against one another. To this day, I still have trust and anger issues.

As for the child support, you didn't force her to lie down and make those kids. It took two and it should take two to support them. DO NOT stop getting payments from her. Good Luck!