marine wife...with a sense of clarity?

Question

i asked a question yesterday about leaving my husband who is a marine and since coming home from overseas, has changed. one answer really hit home for me...maybe he has grown up and i havent. that has been something i never considered because for the first two years of our relationship I supported him. he joined the marines because he didnt want me to support him. now a year and half and a baby girl later, he's working a steady job and i have a job that's only a few hours a week to help out. but now we realize that even though i only work an hour and a half a day, we cant afford daycare even for that short amount of time. not to mention a lot of daycares wont accept my daughter cuz she's too young. now he's asking me to quit and just stay at home, but i know there's no way he could support us completely on his wages alone. someone help please!

Answer 1

.People do change over time.But take it from me the grass is not greener.You have a child.Once again from experience it is the hardest on the children.My daughter is 9 and she still cries because she wants her dad and I together.It's been 5 years.So please try and work that out first.
Ok now about the money situation.Try and figure ways to cut cost.There are so many ways.Every little bit adds up.
Try some work at home things .It is best if you can to stay home with your daughter.Also maybe you could find a couple kids to babysit.that gives you extra money and a playmate for your daughter.
Good luck and be proud of what your husband is doing.Be honored to be a marines wife.

Answer 2

I was a marine wife.What is his rank? I know they don't make much money. Yes they get their benefits and housing...ect..ect....but look at his base pay. It is his male ego talking, he wants to be the provider. If your daughter is too young to go to a day care then stay home with her for now. These are the most important times of her young life to bond with you. You'll have to make sacrifices to get through this and you can. Try this for a year and see what happens. Set your husband down and talk to him about this. If after a year goes buy and you're sturggling financially then talk to him about getting a part time job.As for coming back a different person after being over seas. War changes people a lot. Just be supportive of him and be by his side. Being a militray wife is not easy. Look for signs of post raumatic tress disorder also.http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/general/fs_what_is_ptsd.html Check out this website..good luck sweetie

Answer 3

Of course you can survive without your one and a half hours of work per day, you're a mother, you say you want to be more mature, it is your JOB to make it work. And if your baby is so young that daycares will not take her (and they will take ANYONE) then that should clearly tell you the only place for you is at home caring for your baby.

You should be so grateful that you married a REAL man who understands the importance of you as a mother and how is willing to take care of you and his baby -- let him do this, and you do your part.

Your job will be controlling the spending and setting the household budget so that you CAN live on his income alone -- this means you will not buy ANYTHING other than food, medical necessities and gas for the car (if you have two cars you may need to sell one, saving you a lot on insurance / maintenance, etc). You will find ways to never eat out, cook potatoes, beans, tua sandwiches, do what mothers do every day which is find ways to live and actually live very happily on whatever it is thei husband can provide.

And smile a lot, hug your husband often, tell him what a hero he is for working every day for you and the baby -- you will be amazed at how this will motivate him to do better and better at work and find ways to bring in more money -- that's just the way it works.

I'm sure being in a war has changed him, of course it has. But this is the man you made vows to, made a baby with and the man you need to love and support as a real wife, a mature woman who has it fully in her control to adjust her attitude and actions to focus ONLY on the positive and on how to make very day wonderful for the baby and for her man -- through tghis you will find that life is woderful for you :)

Answer 4

If you can't pay for childcare then your only option is to stay home. Ask yourself if what you're making would cover the childcare for the time you're at work. If you come out even, you're living on your husbands salary already and wouldn't be losing money to stay home. If you come out ahead, ask yourself how much ahead and is it worth it?

Another option is to open a home daycare. Take in a couple children during the day while their parents are at work and charge a wage that's below what they would pay for regular childcare. That way you're home with your daughter and still bringing in income. Hope this was helpful!

Answer 5

Do you have family or friends that could take care of your girl for a few hours a week at a cheaper rate than daycare? When I was a kid it was family that took care of my while my mom worked, it was cheaper and I think better for me. If you don't have that look into community support. It takes a villiage to raise a child. I firmly believe that. Good luck! Don't give up on your career dreams, if you have them.

Answer 6

You can always do some volunteer work that can lead to free daycare. For the love of God though this is not a reason to leave your husband and destroy your family!

Answer 7

Your very wrong. YES he can support you & your daughter in every way. He is a MARINE. The Military pays him extra money to support dependents (that's you & your daughter). Don't believe me? ask his Commanding Officer & ask to see the wages of his paycheck. Your eyes will rollover twice when you see the amount. You should be happy that you don't even have to work at all. Some wives have to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet. For your husband to say "quit & stay home" means you will be provided for, he's also relieving the stress you both have about the day care issue, now that you don't have to work, you got this chance to stay home with your daughter, take care of her, spend time with her & watch her grow up. That's every woman's dream is to be able to stay at home with their kids & watch them grow up instead of leaving them with a stranger at some day care center all day. Listen, you don't need to worry & try not to have such a big head about "supporting him". Don't give up on him because when he joined the Military, he joined THE BEST, this should show you enough of what kind of a man is willing to take care of his family. You need to go on base & learn, seek information about all these benefits your getting from the Military. You get FREE health care for you & your daughter, you get discounts. You'll get an ID card which allows you access to shop at the Exchange & Commissaries. You'll get discounts on all kinds of things, especially HOUSING. Take advantage of all that. It's right in front of you, so don't ignore it. Don't quit on your husband, he needs you, your support, understanding & most of all your LOVE. He needs you to believe in him that he will be able to provide for himself, you & your daughter. He will do just that, believe me, he loves you enough & with the Military here for you guys, there is no failing. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have joined the Marines to get HIS sense of clarity. Your a Marine Wife. That counts for a lot. Be proud. The strongest love in the world comes from the most supportive & dedicated women. These women are the Marine Wives. SEMPER FIDELIS.

Answer 8

maybe he wants to pay you back by taking care of you now like you did hes trying to be a man and take control and be a good husband have you thought of that?