hubby took my car without asking??was i wrong too..??

Question

Hi i am 26 yrs old and have been married 2 yrs most of which has been not so happily.We have a daughter who is 1.5 together.When we first got married we agreed to only have one joint account for bills, morgage payments, and other things pertaining to the house all of which would be split 50/50 in payments(this was his idea) because he was very protective of his money and at the time we made about the same income.For everything else we would have personal accounts.Recently though i have begun to make more money than my husband by a considerable amount. I bought a red mustang a car i have always wanted for myself in adition to the SUV i normally drive.He was angry about it because i did not inform him.However last night he took my car(mustang) without asking to his friends house for a poker game i got mad had my sister drive me over and took my car home.Which turned into a bigger fight when he came home at 3:00 in the morning was i wrong?

I bought the car out of my own money not his! And i dont take his boat or his jet skii's without asking.

Answer 1

I think you could have/should have handled it differently. You let anger get the best of you and you are on YA so you must be having some regrets. Even thoug he may have been wrong in what he did, you should have waited until he came home to talk to him.

Answer 2

Ok, it is cool that you two have the joint account to handle the bills and things that need to be done for your home and well being. It is also fine that you decided to each have seperate personal accounts, it gives you each your own savings for "just in case". I agree with the other people that you two don't really have a marriage though. Even if I had my own money, I would discuss the fact that I was going to purchase another vehicle with my husband. It seems like there is no communication between the two of you. It seems like maybe the only reason you are married is because of the child. That is no reason to stay married. While you two are married, pretty much everything that is purchased during the marriage, affects both of you. My ex husband did things when we were married that affected my credit, even though my name was not on it. He was wrong for taking your car without asking, obviously. I think you two need to seek some counseling, or just decide to not be together. You don't seem like you belong with each other.

Answer 3

I can understand wanting him to pay you the courtesy of asking and not taking.But technically the car is both of yours if you bought it during your marriage.And you should have discussed the purchase with him.It doesn't matter whom makes what money you are supposed to be in a partnership.If you ran a business with someone else would you buy a big ticket item for the company without consulting you partner first?.From your question you posted I can tell you are a bit selfish you used the word I an awful lot.You are way to old to be acting this way in a relationship.You need to grow up.But than again you should have done that before you got married.By the way before you get pissed at me remember you are the one whom asked for others opinions.

Answer 4

Basically, what you did embarrassed him. That not good, that is when egos start to flare, he was at the poker game With his friends, not a good look. there is not need for people to be in your business. you could have handled that when he got home. I am not going to say you were wrong for being mad but I you could of handled it in a more respectful manner, yeah of some sort he was rude for just taking you car but sometime us as women has to be the bigger person.

From what I pick up he is selfish and of some sort jealous of you.
He has to learn to share and open up more, He shouldn't expect to be treated a certain way, if he don't do the same.

Good luck,

t

Answer 5

Okay, I know exactly what your saying. I can understand what its yours should be yours but NOT when you get married. Yours becomes "OURS" in a marriage. If you want the marriage to work you must realize that this is your SOUL MATE.... I know you bought it but what if he was the main provider and it was vice versa?? Please understand that your money is now his money and his money is now your money. You must not through it in his face that you make more than him. When you marry someone you must share! Not just whats convenient for you, you must share everything, believe me it should of asked but eventually you will need to grow up and realize this is your husband and father of your child and a car is just a stupid car that depreciates, so don't argue over something that stands no match for your love for him. At the end of day it would have been nice for him to ask to use it but really the car is just as much as his as it is yours.

Answer 6

This is a continuance from your previsou question. Sounds like you two are both very childish.

We, well most who answered you other question, felt you should have talked to him before buying the car.

Now, both of you are wrong. You are bickering over money and possessions, which really are not that important in the scheme of things.

Sounds like you two are heading for a divorce. And, from the questions you ask, you will likely want the child, and try to take him to the cleaners in the divorce.

Grow up, both of you. Neither of you obviously appreciates what you have.

Answer 7

I don't think you were wrong in getting mad but you could of handled it better. Instead of going over his friends house and taking the car. Which most likely embarrassed him in front of his friends, and probably pissed him off more than the whole car thing, You should have waited for him to come home or when you saw him next and calmly talked to him, and expressed your feelings to him, Then instead of a nasty fight you could have come to compromise.

Answer 8

You should not have gotten a car with out consulting him about it first. If you want Independence from your husband you should just split. As far as him asking to take your car. Your married and he isn't a child. But perhaps he should have told you that he was taking it before he left. But asking permission is just silly!

Answer 9

I've read your questions.. there is a theme...

you've made a bad decision for this relationship.. if you're needing someone to tell you it's time to leave... well, it probably is

if it's like this at 2 years of marriage, how will it be at 5? 10? 20? is there abuse on the horizon?

seems like you may be a little too independent for him

Answer 10

I think you should be nice to him jeez hes ur husband u married him...but then again im only 16 and think about things obviously more then u do....it was one time and yes you bought it so what get over it, dont u know how to share or anything...if it bugs u that much that he took ur car with out asking then u shouldnt be married....