This dude has rejected all my previous poems saying I have no talent. What's your opinion of my final attempt?
dudes i like You medium-height
======================
dudes i like You medium height
they hang near me, not short, so right
they eat boiled oats, wild oats do
they grow fierce bodies, hard like You
they laugh with me, like the day
they cry by me, in man's way
they run to me, far away
they stay with me, You they may
they like what i do, dark light night
they do what i do, like Your fight
they feel my comfort, piece of mine
they push far in, from behind
the dudes i like You medium height
the ones who dream, but(t) all so right
the guys who growl, if they bite
the guys who's pound is worth my might
they kiss the path to journey's end
they lose the wrath from far within
the dudes i like You medium height
the top one who are You tonight ?
* * ok..burp, hey dude will you just eat my boiled oats and be my medium- height Valentine and kiss.
2007-02-14 02:01:40 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I like the rhythm to this - it reminds me of a train journey, with pistons sliding in and out of their cylinders; building a powerful, but restrained, momentum. I like the quiet, subdued references to lovemaking and expressions of passion - again restrained. I like the call to arms (your arms).
I think this dude doesn't appreciate that he should consider himself to be so lucky to get his oats with you.
Bravo Caro!
2007-02-14 02:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's all in rhyme... it sounds more like song lyrics, just because of the repetitious manner.
Have you tried haiku, or limericks? Not all poems have to rhyme, but if they do, it should be a set rhyme pattern, your pattern is:
a, a, b, b. c, c, c, c. a, a, d, e (mine and behind do not rhyme). a, a, a, a. f, g, a, a.
... or perhaps what he means by 'no talent' is, ...
night might fight bite height tonight right... aren't all good words for a love poem.
Maybe he's not into poems... or maybe he's not into you... I would work on the poem before delivering it.
2007-02-14 02:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by Sylvie M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I'm the same Sammer from up above, I just had my account canceled. I wanted to say your avatar is a white person; but your poem is a brother's poem. I can just hear Morgan Freeman reading this. "Dude's, I like you Medium height." Right on.
2007-02-14 15:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not gay in the least, but I love this poem. I hope it reall says "dude" and you don't put somebody's name in. It's great with, "dude." May I copy and paste this into my computer to share with friends? This is the greatest, gayest poem anybody has ever written.
What's the deal with boiled oats. I took that literally, which made the poem. Is it a gay culture metephore?
2007-02-14 02:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Sammer (Jim W) 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if a heart felt and sincere show of emotion causes this person for whom you wrote the poem to reject it based on technical issues or whatever other reason; then as the others have stated -- it is his loss. it's a sweet and fine poem and you should be proud of your ability to express yourself in a unique way. it's a heck of a lot better than a generic hallmark card because itis from you.
2007-02-14 10:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by thechewtoyboy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God does not hate homosexuals. He hates homosexuality. It hurts Him that some of His creation can live such immoral and disgusting lifestyles. But, He loves them. And BTW, this is not made up! They really have a group called godhatesfags. Look it up. God Loves You! Even if you don't want to acknowledge Him. He will always love you.
2016-03-29 06:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bit too wordy and you seem to have too many tangents of thought, I'm not sure what your trying to say. Still, kudos for the attempt and your ability to rhyme.
2007-02-14 03:13:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i like to think myself a bit of a poet and i can tell you that in reality, your craft is your craft and it only has to be good to you, and mean something to you, but, if you are trying to get someone's attention and you want someone to relate to your message, you might try and format it better. organize your thoughts and let you stanzas make ence. i could tell where you were trying to go , but it really did not deliver your point well, and a large part of it did not make good sence. i'm not bashing you, that's not what i do, but i am being honest because that's what i do. :)
2007-02-14 02:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Ronnie 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Thanks dude. Bearing you heart and soul for all of us takes a courage you probably did not realize you have. This lets us see you in pure form and is really good because of that. Kisses for you.
2007-02-14 08:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boiled oats? lmao!
2007-02-14 02:06:40 · answer #10 · answered by Murazor 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋