... and they have no erotic joy in their life because they in effect have no sex partner in their life, and because they are married, they don't want anyone else, and they can't legitimately get with someone else either.
In other words, isn't V-day the everlovin' pits for those forced into sexlessness by their anti-sex or sex averse spouse?
Just reading the cards about how great they make your life cuts like a knive when all you get is neglect and/or sexual rejection.
You don't have to answer publicly if you're ashamed (though it's not your fault). Write to me at my email or http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/swage
http://www.swagesupport.blogspot.com
2007-02-14 01:30:32 · 12 answers · asked by JRSK007 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have no problem like that in my relationship-but I get what you are saying. Some people withhold sex for months or even longer and then are so horrified and angry when their partner cheats on them. BIG SURPRISE! Human beings need touching and affection and intimacy to be content. If more people got that, the divorce rate might not be so high. I know marriage isn't all about sex, but sex is definitely a large part of a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship. Sorry your V-Day sucked.
2007-02-14 01:37:23 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do cut... I have to agree. Me and my wife are physically NON-inimate (her choice) and have been that way for a few years with on-again/off-again bouts of sexual interest, mostly off. It has been almost a year of complete non-intimacy... the longest yet, so to say that it "cuts like a knife" is an understatement to me.
I have no problem answering this publicly... ashamed as I am, it is not of MY choosing... I am a very sexual creature... the wife, obviously not-so. I pick cards that mostly are reminiscent... looking back at the 'good' times and not so currently talking about our state of love or especially passion, since there is none.
I know I am not alone and there are so many spouses in similar situations... according to recent research, it's an epidemic, sadly. Marriage should be intimate, full of romance and passion, however people CHANGE and sadly, many times those changes are in different directions. That is our case, unfortunately - I cannot figure this woman out... and on Friday the 16th, we celebrate our 16th anny. Not sure how many more we will have, though, although at this point, divorce is NOT an option.
I feel for all those spouses stuck in similar situations... married to an attractive spouse whom you have feelings for and still love without intimacy is like having a nice fancy sports car, but being not allowed to drive it.
2007-02-14 13:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by azcuriousm4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hubby and I had that issue one time and we came to a compromize that we would be together every other day no matter what. It sure did help because what had went away from the lack of came back with the more of. PLUS some...
Some women have a hormone problem that keeps them from wanting it. It doesn't mean she love her man any less.
I have a friend and she was always a needy type as far as sex goes and her huband wasn't. She had to have a hysterectomy and now she is like I can't even stand to be touched. Now he husband has switched rolls and want it all the time. She's like why couldn't he be like that when I wanted it all the time. LOL
It is a hormone problem I promise"I think". They have hormone replacements that you can get at the local store that will help. Estraven is really good. She may need to see her doc to get a physical and have blood work done to have her hormone levels tested. It's worth it to save your marriage.. I would think anyway. If it isn't that then atleast you know.
I have lots more to say about this issue but I just want to say it may not be in her control..
2007-02-20 17:53:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn you poor thing, this is what my parents went through, my mom didn't like it and my dad was just a normal guy. They divorced of course because if you're not fullfilling your role as a partner then you shouldn't have one. Of course if there is some medical reason she says no then that's different, but she should understand you need and come to an 'agreement'. I'd try counseling and if your spouse doesn't agree then say 'if you care about my needs you'll go or I'm outta here'. Sex is vital to a marriage and you shouldn't be made to endure this. Good luck
2007-02-14 01:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They do decrease... I easily ought to agree. Me and my spouse are bodily NON-inimate (her determination) and performance been that way for decades with on-again/off-again bouts of sexual pastime, frequently off. that's been almost a 365 days of finished non-intimacy... the longest yet, with the objective to assert that it "cuts like a knife" is an irony to me. I easily haven't any situation answering this publicly... ashamed as i'm, it isn't of MY picking... i'm an particularly sexual creature... the spouse, of route no longer-so. I %. playing cards that frequently are reminiscent... searching decrease back on the 'sturdy' situations and not in any respect so presently conversing about our state of affection or noticeably activity, because there is none. i recognize i'm no longer on my own and there are one of those number of spouses in similar circumstances... in accordance to recent learn, it really is a scourge, regrettably. Marriage should be intimate, finished of romance and fervour, although human beings change and regrettably, many situations those transformations are in numerous guidelines. that's our case, regrettably - i won't be able to parent this lady out... and on Friday the sixteenth, we celebrate our sixteenth anny. no longer particular what percentage more desirable we'd want to have, although, inspite of if at this aspect, divorce isn't an determination. i have self assurance for all those spouses stuck in similar circumstances... married to an eye-catching better 1/2 whom you've thoughts for and nevertheless love without intimacy is like having a outstanding fancy activities automobile, yet being no longer allowed to pressure it.
2016-11-03 10:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The human being is a sexual animal. Anyone trying to go against the grain has some kind of disorder. I agree with you entirely, V-day is a sham for those lacking on one of natures most perfect gifts.
2007-02-21 23:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by BujuB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
V-day is a day that the card companies and florists use. I dont think of it as a day to show love. My husband and I celebrate our love everyday.
2007-02-14 02:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just another day to spend some $$
2007-02-21 18:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by aka_hollar_back 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
v-day! its over! get over it! its so spectacularly pumped up by the shops and media and it gets everyone into such a knot! and over what? i fail to understand how one day can cause so much grief, and agony and depression. and heaven forbid if what you got isn't bigger and better than whatever bling your friends received.
v-day is over, lets move on to the next holiday! easter! peter rabbit! now we can worry about whether he will bring us bigger and better easter eggs than our friends got! sheesh!
2007-02-21 19:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by tess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go find a boyfriend!
2007-02-21 16:28:40 · answer #10 · answered by Dollydoright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋