i have a problem with my relation ship.my husband & i did not have sex for a year.what am i going to do?

Question

when i ask him to make love,he told me he is tired,stres & other reasons.it continues like this for a year. he told me his feelings couldn´t come but he don´t even know why.but now i am geting tired of waiting.pleace help me .what am i gonna do?

Answer 1

someone is having an affair . .

Answer 2

OK I am not attacking you but why is it ok for a woman to have an affair but if a guy (not getting sex) does it well OMG!!! What is up with that?? I say he has someone else on the side have an affair get a divorce or get professional help. You shouldnt be unhappy life is too short. I played this game for 15 years never got better. It was always if you dont do this I wont give you any. Hell at one time I went 5 years without sex I had only rosey. Is that fair I was an idiot for sitting around dont let that happen to you. Hope it turns out good for you but I dont know?? Good luck

Answer 3

I went through the same thing you did! It didn't get better, it got worse! My ex-husband told me when we were married "If I never had to have sex again, I wouldn't" that was my biggest clue that we can never stay together in a marriage.

I did a lot to make things work with no avail. I lost weight, cut and styled my hair, wore sexier clothes, made better friends, found a great job, even went to counsling! I eventually stopped asking for sex and we just became distant! Things just went from bad to worse and nothing I could do made things better. So he eventually left me. Believe me, at the time it hurt, but soon after, I felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Girl, if he's starting to feel thing way about you now, either talk to him or get help. If nothing works, you say what I said to my husband "LET'S BE HAPPIER! WE'RE BOTH MISERABLE TOGETHER, AND WE BOTH KNOW WE'D BE HAPPIER WITHOUT EACH OTHER!" We came to realize that is and was the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Although I'm still not of a marriageable age I know enough that there are relationship counsellors you could seek to solve this problem. But most importantly you two gotta solve it together. Maybe there are many underlying reasons that he feels hard to speak about but you've gotta try to find that out from him. Use your feminine tenderness as a wife to coax the reason out of him. I guess nobody wants to feel unhappy in a relationship so there should always be a lot of effort in the maintenance. Do your best and you go, girl!

Answer 5

I have had the same problem but I won't give more details here. Often women have legitimate problems with their bodies which make having sex very unpleasant. In that case, the woman should be honest and try to express affection for her husband as best she can.

However, if a man is not sick in some way, then it is ridiculous for him to say that he never feels like it. Does he have some physical or real mental problem? Perhaps he or you both as a couple, need counseling but frankly, it looks bad.

Answer 6

I am no expert, but if he's not interested in somebody else, then maybe you should try seeing a professional. They can help find out what's the underlying problem.
Another interesting thing I saw on Oprah, of all places, is a book and dvd called 'the Secret." Apparently it helps people 'get back on track' with their lives - one couple had the exact same problem as you, and were fine after watching the dvd.
I really wish you luck on this one.

Answer 7

Hi Halal, I am 34 years old and happily married (most of the time) to a wonderful man, our situation is we have not made love/had sex for nearly 3 years now.
5 years ago I was involved in a car accident that has left me with Chronic pain, I have to take Morphine every day to control the pain, my husband has been amazing, raising our 2 daughters and careing for me, I am on a disability pension and my hubby is now on a cares pension to look after me as there are many things I can no longer do....hang out the washing, house work etc, but our sex life, though not as often was still satisfying, about 3 years ago my husband was watching the news about a school guidence officer that had been charged with the sexual abuse of at least 35 male students between 1973 and 1998, my husband seemed to go into shock, as the news report went on it was made clear that this man had hung himself 3 hours after he returned home from being charged. I couldn't get my husband to talk to me, he just phased out, like the lights were on but no one home. After a few hours of me begging him to speak to me, he proceeded (in a quiet, almost a whisper) to tell me of the abuse he had suffered repeatedly at the hands of this monster, I won't go into details other than to say that at one stage I actually vomited from shock, total disbelief, that my soul mate had never told me of this, before we met my husband used a lot of drugs, something I refused to tolerate, he stopped immediatly, for so many years my husband blamed himself for the abuse, it started when he was 11 years old, he felt he was a bad person, that he deserved what had happend to him, and he took what ever he could to make the emotional pain go away. Once we became a couple, I think, well I know now, that he felt he'd been given a 2nd chance, we had a wonderful life together, we had our first daughter in 1993 and our 2nd in 2001, he opened his own business, we had a great life, and then he saw the news report and he changed, not in a bad way, he was just different, after a few months of no physical contact I asked him if I had done something to "turn him off" and that's when he opened up about the memories that keep flooding back, he suffers from headaches all the time, he says he is stressed, he says he is tired, I understand the truth, he's like an 11 year old child trying to make sense of his emotions, on a positive note, we are in the process of sueing the school because as it turns out the school, "one of Queenslands best boy's schools" was aware of what was going on, and had tried to keep it quiet asking him to promise not to harm anymore boy's, it must have fallen on deaf ears because he continued to mollest these boys in the worst imaginable way.
I guess what I'm trying to tell you is your husband really may be tired, he may be stressed, if he's in his late forties or older he may have a medical reason, after 40 a man should be checked for prostate cancer etc, I know my story is a long one and maybe not in any way helpful to you, I just don't want you to listen to all the people who will put their 2 cents in saying he's having an affair, deffinatly look for signs of that, just don't rule out that he's telling you the truth, all the best, Yvette B

Answer 8

Maybe he drinks alcohol it can do it to certain guy's it lowers the testosterone. Or maybe he's on medication or overweight any health problem like that can lower sex drive by a lot. If none of these could be the reason he might be masturbating to much to porn. Other than that if none of those he might have a problem and needs to see a doc. Try to get him to stop taking meds or drinking and maybe he needs to get into the gym. Good luck

Answer 9

Okay, first my dear, get down on your knee's and pray. As the lord for guideness and strenght to continue to love and respect your man and your relationship. Now ask yourself, this, do you feel it in your heart that something is wrong? If the question is yes, then you need to ask yourself is this man worth the time.

Answer 10

My husband did that to me, and in the end we ended up divorced. He would only want sex about once a year, I couldn't handle it. I started having an affair. Sex is a basic human need, we crave physical touch. I couldn't go without it. What he's doing is a form of abuse.

Answer 11

don't ASK him to make love. Because then he feels like it's an obilgation or a duty. Here's what you do... dress in a very sexy lingerie outfit, and WITHOUT SAYING A WORD, just start physically touching him, kissing him, etc. Seduce him silently, with you being the aggressor.