Thanks a lot to all but i do have some thing to say pls read this?

Question

when we went to india last visit every body like relatives were asking my husband u went to US 8 yrs back still u did not buy the house.so he felt bad and after comming back he bought a house but he just had 5000 dollars to do downpayment so he took loans from so many banks and made around 30000 and bought a house so still managing to send some moneyto his sister.he always scold me saying go to work and just pay me rent to stay here.he always says u r eating mine etc one day i was so mad ijust told him u give somuch money to your sister and u ask mr the rent heaid its my wish i will give to my sis but not even a penny to u.last month i asked him to give me 400 dollards so that i will take testing classe so that i can also earn he said i will not give u, i sware i did not asked him one day why he sends money to her.but he always says i am with him just for money itseams i never saw 10 dollards from him but says like that.now its little tight for money as he is paying mortgage .

Answer 1

he sounds very insecure - buying a house to appear a certain way to his family. it is almost like his image to them is more important (sending money etc), but in reality, he is making his wife suffer financially because of it.

but he also sounds very controlling. what husband in his right mind would expect his wife to pay rent?!!! tell him to pay you for sex or cooking or cleaning or anything else you do. see how he likes to be told to pay for something that as a married couple is part and parcle (not saying that the wife should be doing these things though -but you most likely are!).

isn't really treating you the way you deserve to be treated!

Answer 2

well u ppl need to talk. dont bring in past isues but concentrate on the problem. the situation is very clear. you guys have bitten more than you can chew. there is no point blaming anyone for this, not even each other. just understand two things that its you two who have to run your family in the US not those living thousands miles away in India. Of course they are your parents and would want the best for you but still they have not been to america have they? how would they know how's life there?

explain all this to your husband but be careful not to fight or nag. and also if majority of the ppl who asked you to buy the house were from his family then make sure you dont pin point at them coz he will anyways feel hurt.

just tell him that you understand all the strain that he is going through and appologise (yes did thast even if you are sure you did nothing wrong, it wont hurt) for all those fights you've stated above. remind him of all those lovely time you two shared together and promise that you'd do your best to help him.

these words will surely melt his heart and convince him that you are with him, not against him. then two of you sit down together and solve the problem. in that matter the best that i can suggest is you sell the house and shift to a cheaper accomodation to pay back all the loan. but you are the best person to deciede whats good for you. however remember that no matter what the fainancial problems are, every problem on earth can be solved if you two are together full of love.

Answer 3

Your man is living in the sixties. He has to learn to create a balance and need to re-establish his priorities. His prime responsibility should be his own family - his married life and his household. A woman can be more effective in household management by working at home and also earning a little by joining any kind of part-time work to start with. He appears to be living with a sense of insecurity and his notions are all wrong - a close friend from the modern times only can instill some sense into his brain.


http://living.oneindia.in/men/men-n-home.html

Answer 4

you can only be with people for money if they have it! If he just bought a house and with no money he has non for you. Are you sure his sister is his sister? Y cant she find a man or get someone eles. You say he is your husband and hes treating you like that making you pay and telling you your worthless ...... Lady You need to put your foot down and make some changes or you are not going to be happy!

Answer 5

get a small job that requires no experience, and will work with whatever education u have and allows u to make money now. like being a secretary or working as a cashier or fast food place. work there quietly, dont bother him, save all ur money and then move out. he is a jerk for what he is doing to u and is taking all his frustration out on u. he is just living to show off to peopel back in india who could care less.

Answer 6

Hey, first you should be bothered much what your relative said. Second both of you should work a plan before taking up any loan. Anyway now both you should sit down and plan your monthly income budget. Try to cut down unnecessary spending and if you are still tied than there is no other choice but both of you to work.

Answer 7

we understand that living in U.S. is horrible. that is especially for the non U.S. people. any how you bought an asset you both opt to go to U.S ONLY for earning money. so you can also help your husband to run the family. you may get rent for your house. but that will not be sufficient to pay off your debts. stay while in U.S both of you work hard and come back to India. your children will be peaceful here. just shed you ego and talk to your husband. he is affectionate if the house is the problem then sell it out (for that do not break your relationship/ otherwise talk to his sister explaining your position)

Answer 8

Take it easy and you also try to earn:it may be warranted to help his sister; but it is not the way to tell and convince you:

Anyhow from your message, it is understood that you are a matured lady: Try to go for any work and get some relief;

he will realise his fault one-day:

Answer 9

YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE MARRYING HIM MEN WHO SEND MONEY TO THEIR SIS ARE STUPID BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER SAVE MONEY FOR THEMSEWLVES. TRY TO INVESTIGATE IF HE REALLY SENDS MONEY TO HIS SIS. i WOULD PROSBABLY TAKE ORDER IN THAT HOUSE LIKE INSTEAD OF HIM GETTING THE PAYCHECK U GET IT U PAY THE BILLS WITH THE CHECK AND EVERYTHING IF HE HITS U CALL THE COPS AND I SWEAR THAT HE WILL CHANGE!!!!!!!!!! ALSO SELL THE HOUSE AND BY A CONDOMINIUM AND BUY IT COSTS YOU ABOUT 30,000. aFTER U BUY IT BUY ANOTHER CONDO AND RENT IT THERE U ARE GETTING EXTRA MONEY

Answer 10

Is it like dat he dont like u after marriage??
bcoz it seems he dont talk good with u. Whats the prblm u must find....otherwise ur all future life will be like hell. He wants rent from his wife..means he must be sick..........bt dont answer or reply harshly bcoz if both hus and wife are talking then their marriage wont be successfull.....atleast one has to sacrifice so that they can live happily. Now u got work then dont worry try to normalize the issue..........and spend ur money to solve financial issue.

One more thing.....dont talk such things infront of childrens...otherwise it will affect their mentality.


Best lck.