i am married for 7 yrs and i don't even have 10 dollars of mine so now working do i need to give my salary to

Question

married for 7 yrs sincce day 1 we r fighting for one or the other he gives his sister every 3 months about 80,000 -1 laks to spend and he always says that is my responsibility.but she is married.so when i was pregnant i just asked him if i can have 50 dollars to keep with me he got angry and stopped talking to me as also my pregnancy was complicated.but now i have a beautyfull baby boy so due to my pregnancy i could not work .after my baby born i went to india he just gave me 80 dollars i went with 2 boys one 6 and 2nd 3 months i went to my sis marriage.i asked him to come with me as it will be difficult to go with 2 kids but he said he did not get permission from office.he did not let me do even 5 dollars shopping i went with just my kids with 60 dollars chocolate.he came exactly after 15 days to india with a computer with LCD monitor,lipstic,nailpolish chocolates etc with $2250 cashier check to his sister gave in front of me.now i got a job do i still have to give mymoney to him

Answer 1

Some people believe they are great donors, kind and benevolent towards their family. They have an overweening opinion of themselves. They think they are great saviour. In this act and euphoria they forget their primary duty.This has happened with your husband. If a man says that it is his duty is to look after his brother and sister at the cost of his children's and neglects his wife, then he is damn fool.
Make no concession to him. You are not his doormat.Do not try to allure him in bed and try to buy him through sex or something.
Be straightforward and tell him that he ought not to neglect his sister but at the same time show his indulgence to his own children, if he is really a man of principle. Don't give him a paisa from your earnings.
I get the impression that you have dragged the matter too long, by your lackadaisical attitude. Be firm and learn to tell things flat out without being foul-tongued and abusive. You can also show him the door to courtroom.

Answer 2

Hey buckle up. I was in similar situation.If you get an opportunity to work dont leave it. Have your own finances. Dont share bank accounts.Your husband might throw a fit. ignore it.If it gets too much try to stay few days away from him.It works in most cases.It did for me.Husbands are like that . Dont worry.Once you start earning he will realize.They just need to be in control. Once you show them you are not going to be like that. they will back off.
Dont give him any money. And try not to have credit cards or Debit cards for your accounts.If you have it then they will ask you to spend on everything from gas to grocery from that card and you will be left paying for all and not enjoying doing a job. You need to be little bit brave and not show your hurt to your husband. the more we show the more they try to control us.
Also have a savings a/c which your husband is unaware of . If a situation comes wherein you need to be independent to mend the marriage it will be handy. Hey it helped me a lot. Not everybody will necessarily face the same but better be prepared.Best of luck.

Answer 3

I unserstand. It really hurst when u see him caring more about others than u.
First - make him understand you are also on her priority list by doing following:
1. Discuss with him about family financials and what are you are saving for the future of your 2 kids. (This surely will work.)
2. Make him understand that his sister is self sufficient and just using her relation to emtionally black mail him. You can lie with some stuff but be sure with your lie. Make up a good story.
3. Make him understand how much you are for him and your family. How much you love him and to what extend you have gone to surrender yorself to him.
4. Sex always work. Try to be romantic and seduce him wherever possible. make him your slave,

best of luck,

Answer 4

Hi
Well, I'd say, just dont give even a single penny to him. Well in my case its bit reverse, my wife, she doesnt give me even a single penny but always want to buy some gift or other for her mother, brother or anybody else, but doesnt matter much to me, becoz i think its her money, but at the same time i dont give her anything for her personal expenses & now i have got her a property in her name & i m not giving any support for that, so she is managing EMIs of that property & have reduced doing social services etc. or other things.

Answer 5

I dont knw wat is his prblm...........actually ur his life partner so u both have to take decision......not alone. This is really selfish ness........I can undnerstand sister is responsibilities bt wife is much more than sis.....Atleast during going along with childs needs some money with us........so dat if something hpn then we can use those money.........(wat the hell he is doing.i hate such people who dont respect and care thier wife)
But if u do so....then it wil cause prblm with ur relations. U need to think bfore doing anything .......bcoz it seems ur husband is somwat short tempered from his bhaviour......so dont do anything which wil ruin ur relation and ur childrens future.

This prblm can be solved by good comuncation by proper way
I am feeling very bad after hearing ur case. M realy srry.
Best luck.
Hope ur husbands behaviour wil be soon improved.

Answer 6

what the hell is all this ,r u a crazy to suffer all this & now also after being self dependent u r ready to give ur salary to him?what about u & ur childern.tomorrow when they will grown up what about their requirments & moreover about u ur self.u don't need to give a single penny to such a person.if he become harsh to u for ur money then talk to the elders of ur family to settle this matter.if they don't take any positive step then it is better to leave such heartless person & lead a life of ur own.

Answer 7

Just tell him, I cannot spare any money for another 5 years till the second kid becomes managable.
At the same time tell him it is a step to make him convinient to fulfill committments of his coborns.

He surely changes his attitude and understand the reponsible pathetic situation of you.

Answer 8

Oh Nalini Honey! This sounds so like a horror story. How could you stay with this guy for seven years??? I sincerely can't think of what to say except LEAVE HIM. However, will you be able to manage???

Answer 9

your out of your mind dump his a**, leave him you can live on your own and go to court get child support and don;t give him your money serious your indian women are so not smart

Answer 10

No, keep the money that you work for to yourself, so that you can buy for you and your children. Unfortunately what can you do if he wants to do for his sister.