i have been married for 13 years and together for 20 with my husband. we are now seperated and have been for 18 months but i just cant seem to let go. he is with another woman but i just keep thinking he is going to come back because of how our relationship used to be. his new partner calls me and our kids (we have 2 teenagers 14 and 16) and says things like her and my ex are so happy and that they are a family now and that my ex loves her more than he ever loved me, also to my kids she tells them that their dad is so happy with her and her son and that her son and their dad have so much fun together all kinds of things like that she tells us and when my kids or i have told my husband about what she is doing she denies it and he thinks we are lying to him. because of all this my kids and their dad havent seen each other for 9 months and my kids say they dont want to see him again and they were once close to their dad. it has also caused many nasty arguments beetween my ex and i.
2007-02-14 00:19:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, sweetheart, I am soooo sorry. If he is with a woman like that, who sounds truly evil, you don't need him. Try to ignore what she says, I don't know her motive for calling you and your kids and saying such things, but don't ever talk bad about your ex in front of your kids or they will resent you as well as him. It sounds like your children need you more now than ever and you have a great chance to set a good example for them. By being the bigger person, acknowleding their "relationship" and being happy for them, even if you don't feel that way on the inside, you'll show your kids how to be a good person. Just take it one day at a time and take comfort in your friends and family, they are your most precious resource in times like this and you will eventually start to heal and move on. Best of luck to you and your kids. Stay strong, keep your faith.
2007-02-14 00:31:25 · answer #1 · answered by cytogirl1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's new wife sounds like my ex's new husband!
The thing that makes this difficult is the interference of this harpy into your relationship with your children. She has no legal or moral right or justification to say those things to you. Basically, she's an a55hole.
What's worse is that she is spouting this insecure and vile tripe to your children. The good thing is that you're children are old enough as teenagers to understand this. On the other hand, saying this crap to your kids is interfering with the parental rights that you have. This could be illegal.
This will be hard, but YOU need to come to grips with what is best for YOUR children. You will continue to have to deal with your ex for their benefit, and I suggest you consider their welfare before your own. Don't speak to the harpy about the children,speak to your ex. Be civil, even in the face of rudeness, pettiness, and childish behavior. Your ex will soon see a pattern of what is happening and get on board that this is for your kids.
Because this relationship your ex has is also ruining his relationship with the kids. Kids can accept that Mom and Dad are broke up. What they can't accept is the sniping. Kids will understand you not being together a lot easier if you two still work together in raising them.
Now with that in hand (and getting yourself prioritized), you can move on with your life. There are decent men out there who will accept and love you. If you let them.
2007-02-14 08:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by nkroadcaptain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, another woman is going to have to be better than the ex-wife by seemingly nature. She is going to try to shine in your footsteps where you didn;t - in her mind. For her to try and rub this in your face is wrong. There is trouble already brewing between the two of them. There is no way that a woman of this sort can make your ex forget about his kids - if they were so close as you say. If he wasn't then he may want to move out of hte previous relationship - you and the kids - to start with a clean slate.
Moving on after all those years is tough...been there - especially if there was alot of positive things that were/are worth hanging onto. Time will have to take its course...you cannot force yourself to break away emotional. You need to try to focus on other things...activities and then lay a new foundation gradually - it is not an easy task - but necessary instead of wallowing in what was and isn't any longer. been there also....been there with the other man...with hope it would end and get back together with new eyes. You must really consider that this is not going to pan out the way your heart hopes it will. Living in hope will make you suffer longer. Denial keeps everything alive and acceptance ends all...
Make a tape recording of this woman talking to you like this. This is abusive. Then you will have the facts for your ex - then maybe he will see her for who she really is and trying to destroy all that he had with you and the children. In the mean time, he will consider everything you say as a ploy to hurt him and his relationship with the other woman....as hard as it is....support his relationship....and that will turn things automatically against her.
2007-02-14 08:36:13 · answer #3 · answered by RealEYES 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First stop talking the calls from he's new partner just hang up the phone one this person call you don't need to know what’s going on in your ex life. Second the kids are hurt and I do feel for them you need to be strong for the 3 of you. It's time for you to move on it's not going to be easy and it's going to take time, be the sooner you start the better you'll feel.
Let you ex deal the relationship with his kids if it's not know maybe later down the road be tell you have to make up you on minds about your father I can't tell you what to think here no matter what your feeling are to him.
Good luck and god bless
2007-02-14 08:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by choiceav 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting this person get to you? First stop taking her calls, anything that has to do with your kids, talk to your husband only. She is not allowed to talk to your kids. It sounds like she is really unhappy and lying to you as to how things are going between the two of them. Concentrate on bettering yourself, and taking care of your kids, change your hair style, move all of his clothes out of your room, either box them up and give them to him the next time he comes for the kids, or put them down in the basement or the garage so that you don't have to look at them. Go and take a class on something that you have always wanted to do but felt you did not have the time. Right now is a very important time for you because your children are looking to you for strength even if they are blaming you. But they don't really know. Please to not argue with your ex. because that makes the other person feels good, that gives her the security in knowing that he is not going to go anywhere, when who knows maybe he is trying to get out of that because he made a mistake.
2007-02-14 08:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like your ex has moved on and your kids have moved on, but you sound stuck. Now that you're by yourself you need to live for yourself and your kids. Help them prepare for college and busy yourself with a job to help them get what they want out of life. In the meantime be good to yourself, rest, get good nutrition, re-educate yourself, keep busy, start a flower garden, and enjoy life. If things are going at an even keel at home then maybe their dad wasn't there anyway for them over the years. Maybe you want the father back in their life to support them thru their college years, is it a monetary problem? The more you argue with your ex the more unhappy you are, so stop that. Move on.
2007-02-14 08:29:19 · answer #6 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can he take this woman's word over your children's? You need to get evidence of this behaviour, with proof how could he deny it? Record your conversations with her if she calls. He is damaging his relationship with his children for the sake of this woman, what a shame, but surely he can understand that this grave lack of respect from her is causing his kids to not want to see him? I just don't understand why he will not listen to what his own flesh and blood are telling him.
2007-02-14 08:26:49 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore them. Dont be in a hurry to mend your broken heart. Just let it take its own course, sooner you will just find yourself wonderinghow it feels years ago. You wont even remember how it felt once.
2007-02-14 09:12:57 · answer #8 · answered by mared 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be that your still getting over it but not to be mean but you need to move on he might have benn worth it but his not anymore
2007-02-14 08:25:37 · answer #9 · answered by Star 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. dont spoil them
2007-02-14 08:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by prabhakar_ace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋