Split from my husband over a year ago
We were together 15 years
Built up a good relationship with his father over that time.
My ex is fine with me and the kids going to the funeral but i'm worried about upsetting my ex mum in law.
We havnt spoken since her son and i split and we were never exactly the best of friends during the marriage. Having to take the word of others that she is ok with me being there.
Last thing i want to do is cause any problems.
Should i stay away or should i go?
2007-02-14 00:05:08 · 51 answers · asked by sonia h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes I think you should go to be a support for your children and you ex husband!
2007-02-14 00:07:59 · answer #1 · answered by The Weird One! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes go you only split from your x husband not the rest of the family ,If you feel uncomfortable about mum in law then just stay at the back of the service and stay in the back ground if you go to the grave side you have as much right as anyone else has to be there.
2007-02-14 00:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your father in law. I bet he was a great man.
I had been divorced from my ex for many years before my father died. We still keep in touch and he has always kept in touch with the rest of the family. I have since remarried. My ex was invited to my fathers funeral and met my new husband. My brothers ex was there too (also his current wife).
Just because you're an ex (and a recent one at that) does not mean you aren't part of that family (there was love and children within it). Go to your father in laws funeral and say goodbye to him.
2007-02-14 06:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by 2dog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go since you had a good relationship with him and because I think the children should have a chance to say good bye to thier grandpa. BUT if after the funeral there is a meal then you need to go by the mom in laws actions when you meet her at the funeral if she is unconcerned or happy you are there (she may) then great but if not then you may not want to go. The children could go with their Dad and you could get a couple hours to yourself.
2007-02-14 01:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU MUST GO.....I was married to my X for 15 years , we split due to his affiarS and his mother died 11 months later, I hadent seen them in all that time and we're talking a big family (11 children) I had lost 9 stone and looked fab.... I went without a second thought, I went for all the wrong reasons, no one had a clue i was attenbding or had even heard of thier loss, i sat at the back long b4 any1 arrived, it felt like something out of a soap, show them that you cared, dont listen to anything any1 says to you being there, garentee its the green eyed monster.!! Show your respect and gain some in the meantime, all the best!
2007-02-14 00:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're ex is all kinds of incorrect in this one. upward push up for your self. You quite are going, and how dare your better 0.5 furnish you with any lip in any respect, exceptionally once you're grieving. Make a huge deal about how this educate of coldhardedness, and utter lack of common sense, reason and help at the type of tragic time is making you spot them in a sparkling and very gruesome gentle, and per chance the relationship ought to end in the adventure that they care no longer some thing on your emotions or for what's ideal for you.
2016-12-04 04:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
putting my self in the picture i would probably go and pay my respects after all you new him for a very long time and would he want you to be there ask your self that. But what i would not do his go back for a drink as something could spark off as you no that 95% of arguments are caused by drink so ya i would go but i would then take a step back from the after party unless things turn out better than you think.
2007-02-17 03:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider your reason for attending the funeral. Do you want to go because it's the right thing to do, or because you need the closure which can only accompany the funeral of a loved one. If you're worried about his wife, you need to weigh her comfort against your personal need for resolve. Personally, I think she will be more likely to have a humble spirit at the funeral that she would've expressed typically.
2007-02-14 00:12:26 · answer #8 · answered by tercellulite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to your ex husband and tell him you would like to go and pay your respects to his father and ask him to OK with his family, even if you sit at the back of the church. You should be entitled to go as long as you understand that the family might want you to be in the back ground, besides that your children would probably expect that you would go to support them if nothing else. Good Luck and God bless.
2007-02-14 00:12:09 · answer #9 · answered by robertk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i think you should ask her. After all it doesnt matter to your ex FIL cos the poor man is dead, and as you dont want to cause any problems then i think it would be polite to ask. If others who are reliable have said she is ok with it, then she probably is, but if you dont think they are reliable then phone up.This is not a good time to phone if you havent spoken for over a year though. If you ex says its ok, and you two get on, then i imagine it would be.
2007-02-14 00:10:24 · answer #10 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send your ex Mother-in-Law a condolence card and discuss going to the funeral with your ex husband before you decide. Say you would like to respect ex M-in-L's wishes but would also like to pay your respects to your ex F-in-Law. Really you need to do what ex M-in-L wants as it's her loss. You could always send flowers on the day but hopefully you can discuss calmly and work something out.
2007-02-14 00:08:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋