My husband's old school friend called him after 20 years the other day. His mom gave her the number. Anyway, she's 2000 miles away but she sent him a Valentine to our shared email yesterday. Not steamy but a Valentine non the less. Normally the distance thing would ward off red flags but my ex had a long distance affair while we were married and I found letters where they were planning their "escape". I don' think it will happen this time but I want him to quit talking to her because I never got over what my ex did. Is it wrong to ask him not to communicate with his friend?
2007-02-13 22:40:16 · 5 answers · asked by ♥Pretty♥ ♥Kitty♥ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex was very open about talking with his "friend". I never had a clue it was more than platonic till it was too late. I just don't want to be that stupid again.
2007-02-13 22:49:08 · update #1
Tell him what you just told us. There is no right or wrong about your feelings.
2007-02-13 23:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Considering that all that has happened here was one email to the both of you, I'd say you're overreacting just a teensy bit. Remember that neither your husband nor his old school friend are responsible for what happened to you in the past and your resulting insecurities. I think that as long as your husband keeps everything open and honest and doesn't try to hide any correspondence, etc. from you, you got nothing to worry about. You might consider looking into some counselling to get over your excessive feelings of distrust, however.
2007-02-14 06:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think her sending him a valentine to your shared email is only a friendly way of saying hi, how are you. I'm sure she didnt mean to cause any trouble, especially since she got your number from his mom. Of course, anything is possible and she may want to see him again. But after 20 years, the chances of them being attracted to each other arent very good. Also, she contacted him, not vice versa. If he starts keeping contact with her and trying to hide it from you, then I think you should react, but it will probably stop soon. I contacted an old boyfriend while I was married and he is married just to see how his life turned out. I wasnt in the least bit interested in a relationship with him. We corresponded back and forth a few times. he told me about his family, how his dad had recently died etc. Sent me a picture of his family and I told him how lovely his wife was. We havent contacted since. So, as long as your husband is being truthful with you, I wouldnt worry about it. Good luck.
2007-02-14 06:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
since the email came to your shared email address, I'd reply, thanking her for thinking of the two of you on Valentine's Day and wishing her the best
2007-02-14 06:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have a chat with your hubby and ask him what he thinks on this subject. Tell him your thoughts are all over the place and that you are concerned. Listen to what he has to say about it, then you may have more questions for us.
2007-02-14 08:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋