How can I make myself more unappealing to women?

Question

I would really be interested to know - I'm already short and poor, so how can I make myself completely repulsive?

(a classic take on a classic question? Let me know).

Answer 1

1 Shave in the dark so you have weird unshaven bits or even better, grow a beard and make sure your food gets stuck in it at all times.

2 Grow a bumflush moustache. Sexy: not.

3 Stop washing. Never get dirt from under your fingernails in particular.

4 Talk about how great you mum is and/ or your ex girlfriend

5 Get all your clothes at a charity shop and make sure that they are at least 8 years out of date.

6 Tell women how totally desperate you are for a woman non stop, but how you have so much to give.

7 Stand really close to them. Make sure you are particularly sweaty when you do this. Invading personal space always irritates.

8 Eat lots of garlic and onions. Mmm fragrant. Then breathe over women.

9 Flap your arms around a lot when you talk, go for the full Shirley Bassey effect. Very un sexy on a man.

10 In the summer, always remember to wear socks and sandals at the same time with shorts and pull your socks right up. You can also substitute sandals for trainers.

11 Get a bag like Roy Cropper's on Corrie. Your local market should help. Add small dog like a Yorkshire Terrier for the full effect.

12 Develop a boring obsession; football, trains, sci fi. The more male zzzzz interests the better to prevent good two wayconversation. Ensure you know everything there is to know about it and tell any woman you meet, especially if she is bored and walking away quickly.

13 Get rid of any social skills you ever possessed. Only ever talk about yourself and how dreadful you are.

14 If you have to comment on a woman's appearance, ensure it is along the lines of 'You're wearing that old thing again' You look older/ have you put on weight'. Charm is everything!

15 If you do manage to trap a woman, tell her you love her and want to marry her and give her babies after about one date. SHe really won't find that appealing.

16 Women like men who have nice hair/well groomed. Plaster on the gel and craft a really big combover. If you are receeding, grow it long. Think Terry Nutkins, Phil Collins, Mick Fleetwood. Whatever you do, only wash it once a fortnight to get that full on greasy look and hopefully it'll smell a bit too and go all flaky and your dandruff should be ever so impressive.

17 Smoke a pipe or cigars. Rolling your own is equally repellant. If you smoke, make sure you rarely clean your teeth too for that nicotine stained smelly breath effect.

Anyway, good luck with your mission!

As for being short and poor, short guys are cute, especially for short girls (myself included) and you mean to say, there are actually people with money out there? I'd like to meet one someday!

Answer 2

Fart, belch, spank strange women on the butt, don't blow your nose and let it drip down and then let it dry on your upper lip, eat boogers, never shower or bathe, stay drunk for a week then don't brush your teeth or gargle then go to the library and try to get into a whispered conversation with a group of women on the topic of "Romeo and Juliet", drill a hole in a ladies' shower stall and let them catch you peeking, sneak into ladies' restroom stalls and write your name and phone number on the wall and admit you are a pedophile with a rapist's wit, buy a hockey goalie's mask, get a chainsaw and hangout at "Victoria's Secret" in the mall, bend over and crack a smile now and then & identify yourself by the name of Phil McCracken, hangout in the produce section at the grocery store and buy nothing but carrots or cucumbers, and last but not least, show up in church in drag, wearing a mini-skirt and t-shirt that says, "Kid in the Oven", with an arrow pointing down.

Answer 3

Ha ha, you're funny! When I read your question (before I saw the details), I thought you were going to be one of those bigheaded morons pretending to want to be less attractive - lol!!!

Now THAT is unattractive, thinking you are the best and the sexiest and letting women know it - real turn off!!! I wouldn't mind short (I'm short), or poor, but show offs are awful.

;-)

Answer 4

Get really fat like eat 10 boxes of donuts a day don't take showers or shave don't brush your teeth talk in stupid accents oh and get some really nerdy glasses

Answer 5

Let your personal hygiene slip. When talking to women, leer at them; don't look them in the face, but in the chest. And if another girl walks by, make a comment along the lines of "Phwoar, wouldn't mind a piece of that" or "Bet you don't get many of those to the pound", loud enough for her to hear.

Answer 6

Give yourself a haircut with blunt scissors & hang around the park at 8 am with a can of special brew in your hand.

wear a dirty old mac and have nothing on underneath it except some manky looking shoes.

carry a leg of lamb everywhere you go and bite into it as the fancy takes you.

Answer 7

Wear a five-o'clock shadow and put a baseball cap on backwards.

of course, there are plenty of girls who would fall for the gutter types, so your best option is to be very dull. and don't bathe or brush your teeth.

Answer 8

You should take fashion advice from the 70's, have your hair cut in a mullet and start wearing very strong aftershave. Medallion perhaps?

Answer 9

How about wearing a fat suit, and not showering for a week. Instead of swarming around you, they'll drop like flys! LOL

Answer 10

Why would you want to make yourself unappealing?