How is it my friends/family haven't picked up on my orientation?

Question

Honestly, I don't get it. I have never said I was or anything, but my goodness I would think someone would have picked up on it by now. I have never had a boyfriend (I'm in my 20's), I very rarely comment on males, I am not overtly feminine (I'm not not feminine, just not the average). Every once in a while a friend or family member will make a comment about the GLBT community, and I'm just in awe everytime that they haven't picked up on my orientation. It's so awkward when they say things 'cause I'm pretty sure my face turns bright red. I don't care or anything that nobody seems to have noticed, I just think it's kind of strange and funny. Anyone else in this position? Please no harsh, judgmental, mean comments. I'm getting sick of them

I think it's kind of funny because if they asked I would answer honestly. Really, someone has to know by now. Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to ask becasue it would be easier. Hmmmm... Maybe, maybe.

No, my I'm not sick of my friends or family not noticing I'm gay (I actually think it's kind of amusing) I'm sick of the people who come on here and answer perfectly nice questions with mean, hateful statements.

That's a good point. I wonder if I haven't picked up on the fact they they picked up on my orientation. Now I wonder when they will pick up that I picked up what they finally picked up on. Ha.

Answer 1

why in god's name would anyone care to ask? being queer isnt very unique. not that many people ask if anyone is a hetero, why should it be different with homos? maybe your family feels the same way as me? who knows, well, i guess they do.? it isnt any of their business.

its such a small part of life, i dont get why everyone makes such a big deal out of orientation and preferences. the only people who need to know about orientations are the people youre out to fall in love with.and the only people who need to know about your sexual preferences are the people you re already in love with and want to fukc, or the people your out to fukc. your family doesnt need to know... or care. hell, they probably DO know.. and JUST DONT CARE.

ive never told my parents... and im sure they know im gay... i've never dated a girl(im 18), have never really talked about girls, ive only ever brought home guys..... and when they came over, we didnt often leave my room, and i watch singn in the rain every effin day, for christ's sake. they must have picked it up by now...... but theyve the decency not to ask... cause it sure as hell isnt any of their business. they suspect, and i'll bet they suspect with you, too.

Answer 2

Well maybe they do already know, i mean...if you're in your 20s, they'd have to have been pretty well blinkered to not have noticed by now. Perhaps they are just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to come out to them before they start being overtly aware of your sexuality.
Having said that though, I'm gay and my family only really realised because i was living with a woman and sharing a bed with her...lol (my family and i aren't that close so i never really got round to actually telling them. It just wasn't ever a pressing issue)
A good friend of mine since i was a kid grew up to be a lesbian woman too, but she was obviously gay to us (her friends and family) from a young age. When she finally came out to everyone when she was 17, it was "yes hun...we know...we've known for years" ....bless her!!

Answer 3

I'm willing to bet that they have picked up on it. Most people will not force you to talk about it, but they ask some questions sometimes to get you to tell them. It is as uncomfortable to them as it is for you, and they would rather get it out in the open, I guess.

I had a friend at work who invited me to a party at his and his partner's house. He said I could bring a guest and I told him that I would come alone, since I wasn't seeing anyone. He told me he could set me up with a woman if I wanted him to. Or if I preferred, a guy! I didn't think that anyone knew, but to him it was obvious I guess. Kind of pulled me out of the closet, but I didn't mind. Best thing that could happen to me, and started a dialog that has made me very comfortable with myself.

Answer 4

yes, I am in same position. I stick up for LGBT all the time, and people just assume I'm a bleeding heart. They never assume I am gay though. I guess I don't give off those vibes. I am not ready to tell anyone, unless they ask or if I get involved with another woman.

Answer 5

Oh they prob already know or suspect.. If its that big a deal why dont you just say something if you want the acknowledgement.. likely the response yer gonna get is 'yeah we knew but didnt wanna say anything"

I think MAYBE they have picked up on it.. you just may have not pick up on they picked up on it.. (ROTFLMAO)

what are you getting sick of.. ? i dont see anything they did wrong.. if yer in the closet its up to you to open the door and come out.. its not up to anyone else to open that door for you right? (Sheesh)

Answer 6

Possibly they already know, but have not said anything because it could be taken rudely by you, or they are oblivious and don't think about much in the way of what you do in that area, or they think you are asexual, not prefering women or men.

Answer 7

Your friends/family probably knows, and have known for a long time, its your choice to tell them and they know that so they won't confront you. They respect you enough to let you decide when the time would be right to tell them

Answer 8

Maybe they already know. Maybe they don't feel that it is any of their business to confront you. Sexuality can be a personal thing.

Answer 9

i know wat u mean my parents dont even suspect even tho IM GIVING ALOT OF SIGNS god it sucksmy mom even talking about me getting married and having kids! lmao well i will marry but its not with a women tho thats for sure

Answer 10

When I came out, most of my relatives said that they already knew. I was all nervous and everything and them bam! I get hit with "Duh, I already knew that."