how can you detect if your teenage daughter is having a serious intimate relationship with her boyfriend?

Answer 1

my first question is how old is she? If shes under 15 my next question is What are you doing! Why are you giving a baby so much freedom their is even this concern?
If she s 16, make sure she has contraceptives, uses condoms and understands that if she is having sex she needs to be ready to handle all the responsibilities that go with it. Then have her tell you what her plans would be if she contracted a STD or becomes pregnant. Talk about abortion, adoption, and if she can't keep herself safe and make good choices , then how does she think she'll be able to keep a baby safe and make good choices for a child.
You don't need to be angry , the best way to determine how much your daughter has thought things through is to ask questions. Listen to her answer, decide where her knowledge is weak and help her to fill in the blanks.
You're not gonna stop kids from becoming adults, the best we can do is give them the knowledge they need to make good choices, and hope they do.

Answer 2

I agree with the other answers that you should just ask her.

Hopefully, you've already discussed sex and relationships to her by this point and have an open enough relationship where you are comfortable with talking to her about THIS.

I'd also be prepared for her answer to be yes. What will you do if that's the case? Will you offer to take her to a Dr to get birth control? Have you discussed VD with her?

I know that a couple of years ago I took my then 15 year old daughter to the VD clinic- I had called ahead to ask if I could have her meet with a counselor to talk about VD and it's prevalence amount teenagers. She went, and saw the affects of herpes, genital warts, AIDS, etc- in pictures and literature. The counselor that talked explained that just because someone looks "clean" doesn't mean they are. Many of those diseases now that teenagers are getting are not something you can 'fix' with some penicillin and a shot. They are LIFE-LONG with no cure.

I can't stop my teenager from having sex, but I can certainly limit time she potentially spends alone with a boy, and I can tell her in no uncertain terms the actual consequences that could come of an intimate relationship.

What many girls don't realize is that THEIR decision to play grown up games doesn't just affect them. If a young teen gets pregnant, it's her parent(s) that end up paying the price even though they didn't do anything. I've long said that it's horribly selfish for a teenager to make a decision like bringing another mouth to feed into MY home when I'm the one that pays the bills and takes care of her.

Communication and education.

You could also just let her and the boyfriend know that if they ARE having sex, that they are running a huge risk in many issues- not to mention the emotional toll that comes from a teenager taking on the role of a grown woman when she's not grown yet.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I have a very open relationship with my mother and felt comfortable telling her that I had become intimate with my boyfriend. If you have that kind of relationship where you are both comfortable with each other, then you won't need to sneak around and lurk her personal possessions to see if she's intimate.

If your relationship isn't open and understanding, its time to make it that way. Straight up ask her if she is or not, and tell her you'd like to be open so you can make the right birth control and unwanted pregnancy options. She'll see that you're more concerned about her health, than whether or not she's been having sex with her boyfriend.

Answer 4

Steven is wrong. I was the "good girl" and the "smart girl" and I had sex with my first boyfriend after 5 months of dating. Even then I wanted to earlier, but we made a pact to say 6 months cause we were both virgins.

I think it is pretty obvious. Check what she is wearing. Does she go places where it is easy to have sex? My parents wouldn't allow us to be in the same room together, but his parents would let us stay in his room with the door locked the entire time. His mum even talked to me about the benifits of using a birth control pill with a condom. Don't assume that just because she is at her bf's she isn't having sex.

Is there a place they like to go on a regular basis? Generally there is a reason for that too!

Overall, I can't say that having sex at a young age screws you up. I had sex at 15 and am now 19, in a serious relationship and have had only a few partners. My sister started having sex at 14 and she decided she didn't want to for awhile between 14-17. Both of us are doing well in school. I am an A grade university student and she is a B+ high school student. We are both happy, healthy people.

Overall, chill out. In the end if they want to have sex, they WILL have sex...

Answer 5

Sweetie,there is no way to "detect" whether she has seriously intimate with her boyfriend,however i am going to give you some suggestions.
Many teens today are so uneducated about their bodies.It is unbelieveable,at how some dont understand.Educate her.Allow her to lead you through this tho.I am unsure if you are the mother or the father,but either way she is more likely to open up to a female about this type of thing.A family friend,mother,grandmother etc etc.You really need to make sure she is educated to the fullest.She will begin to ask questions to test the waters,but allow her to ask openly and answer as honestly as you possibly can.Some of the questions she may ask,may make you uncomfortable or shock you,but dont allow it.I am sure you would rather she come to you than to consult with her peers.Girls her age who will give inaccurate information,as they are just as clueless as she is.She may also lean toward learning from males,her age and then may in return act on something she isnt ready for.The only thing you can do,is educate her and trust she will make the right decision.If she is educated properly,no sugar coating it then she will make that decision.Dont snoop through her things,it will only make her rebel.Dont push her into rebelling,casually bring up that she is at that age and you are sure she is curious.Simply,ask her if she has any questions and that you are there if she needs to ask questions.It is something that needs to be done,and you need that communication with her.Some parents dont even have time for their children,which is why they arent educated about their bodies and the way they work.Once you open this communication it will remain opened,throughout her teen years into her adult life,so be open with her.Good luck hun,and have a safe and wonderful Valentines Day.

Answer 6

You can't, you can ask her, but she might just lie. I'm in my 20's engaged, and I still lie to my mom about sex. Yes, she truly believes I'm virginal and so what? It's none of her business and I'm willing to bet that your daughter feels the same way. If she's over 15 and her boyfriend is also a teenager, it really is none of your business. Let her know how to be responsible. That means birth control, condoms and regular sti testing as well as making sure she has information about unplanned/unwanted pregnancy and what her options are. Let her know you're willing to help and listen to her or at least drive her to the planned parenthood. Your daughter is quickly becoming an adult and I think one of the biggest mistakes that parents make is forgetting that their children are infact individual people completely seperate from the parent who can and will have their own experiences, opinions and choices in life.

Answer 7

I believe that related cousins cannot have serious relationship OR an intimate one BECAUSE all relationships begin intimate then they get serious then they result in having a child together and getting married..therefore creating a family known as "rednecks"...

Answer 8

Here's a question for you....

If you find out your daughter is having a serious intimate realtionship with her boyfriend.... what are you going to do about it??!!

The answer to that question is the answer to your question. Talk to your daughter! If they aren't, more than likely one of the two are thinking about it. When you talk to your daughter, you end up finding a whole lot more than when you talk to a whole bunch of strangers on the internet.

Answer 9

Well I think you should just talk to her. If you know your daughter well enough you should be able to detect if she is being dishonest with you about it. Just don't go snooping through her room or purse. That sort of behavior can only backfire -- and then she'll never trust you again.

Answer 10

Have an open communication with her that started when she was small. Ask about her life without trying to "butt in". Don't be judgemental or nagging. Don't lecture. Teach about sex from the very beginning (when they are small) and when they ask questions tell them the truth and use the correct terminology for body parts, such as Penis rather than "pee pee" and Vagina rather thatn "coolie". but most of all communicaton, communication, communication...