so im 22 live at home,i go to university full time (have 2 yrs left)...wrk partime...basically my dad pays for school and i pay for other things like my car, cell etc...well i told them that i want to move out with 2 of my freinds and they went nuts! they said they would hunt me down and bring me back home even if im 22!...they yelled at me saying that im an ungratefull daughter and that they forbid me to leave until i gradute because they say i just want to move out to do drugs and get drunk and wont finish school..never have done any drugs ..anyways they said if i leave they wont pay for my school...so i dont know but im leaving and ill find ways to pay my school plus i thnk i should be more independent ...what do u guys think are they over reacting or what...yea i know this was a lil long...
2007-02-13 17:56:27 · 23 answers · asked by lore 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Ok you answered your own question.Your 22,you can move if you want,even if there are questions asked move.Most likely your dad saying he won't pay for school is just a bluff,but thats a chance you have to be willing to take.Im sure if your parents are that over protective hes not going to let you lose out on your education no matter what.Good luck!
ps.i dont know what this is listed in adolescent,because your an adult.
2007-02-14 04:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by jill@doodle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a 29 year old, there are time I wished had stayed home as well, now as a 39 year old, I could never go back, 1.cause I am to independent. & 2.I could not get along with my parents now because I'm to set in my ways.
But they are looking at the aspect of you being a co-ed female out on her own, and afraid you may end up as another Natalie Halloway, who disapeared and never heard from on a class trip after graduating high school. They're just too concerned, but it is the ones who aren't concerned who end up paying for it in the end of the day, like it was on your first date for example, they probably wanted to meet you date, they probably set a curfew, and if you had a cell they probably called it, or have you have from a pay phone at a specific time.
They are Parents concerned for their child, go easy on them, one day you may act the same to your daughter.
But, if you do decide to move, try to find a place that the rent is controlled by income to where you can use your college tuition and your travels to and from college to off-set the rent,(I.E. the more your expenses the less your rent)
but these places normally have a waiting list, so I would not waste time, cause a waiting for a single bedroom apartment is about 1 year long, depending on where you live.
2007-02-13 18:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by Donald G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a bit confused....
Dad pays for school, and you pay for the house you live in? The food you eat? No wonder they want you around....
J/K.... but I think you have a convoluted sense of what living on your own really entails and maybe need to ease into this a bit slower.
You state that your parents are afraid you will be partying all the time and the grades will drop and you will eventually quit school.
You state that given the option of going to school or living with your parents you will take your chances without the parents.
It sounds like your parents are right.....
However, I believe that at 22 you have lead a sheltered life, you should have been on your own for the last 4 years and should have already figured out that paying for school, having a car, a cell phone and a roof over your head are 4 things that you cannot do together by yourself. Unfortunately your parents brought this upon themselves by trying to shelter you from the real world. Now you want to stretch your wings, which I am fine with, but don't expect the world to roll over and welcome you with as much enthusiasm as your parents. Out here its dog eat dog, and being the naive little princess you will be a big target.
2007-02-14 01:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah I mean I guess I never had problems with that. I went to college on a full ride athletic scholarship so all my parents had to pay for college was for like books and some other stuff. When I was 22 I was in my senior year of college so I was just finishing up. I think your parents are over reacting, and ask them if you can at least try it. Like you'll move out with friends, and if your grades keep up, and you arent getting drunk and high and stuff, you can continue to live with your friends, but if your grades drop and you are always partying, you have to move back with them.
2007-02-14 06:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get loans. Tell your parents it's time to move on. Do you have any other siblings? Ah well, being an adult is making your own choices and dealing with the financial consequences. Besides, I don't think your parents are really serious about cutting you off financially, they just want to hold it over your head to control you. They are desperate to hold on to you, but if they really care about you as a person, they'll continue to help you out. If their control is selfishly motivated, loans and debt. I know because I have parents that are the same way. Good luck!
2007-02-13 18:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are over-reacting just a little bit. It sounds like they are a bit overprotective. Fortunately, generally parents like that, once you start talking about your applications for student loans, will cave and pay for school again not wanting to burden their "angel" with debt :P You lucky bastard!! lol. I say, have fun! Move out! You missed the first few years of university independence, and it is time to enjoy the last two! :)
2007-02-14 01:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, they aren't ready to let go. And it's not fair to you or to them. Try talking to them and explaining that they have raised you and that they did their job well. They've raised you to be independent and self-respecting and smart enough not to derail your aspirations. Maybe make a compromise. Move out w/ a pre-agreed upon night every week that you will come visit and then they can see that you haven't suddenly morphed into a drug addict. And maybe they won't be so sad to let you go. Good luck and don't forget in all this mess that they love you and want what's best for you. :)
2007-02-14 05:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they cant make you come home if you dont want to. The police will laugh at them. But school is expensive and without your parents help you will be unable to get financial aid as you need thier tax forms to apply. Talk to your uni financial aid counselor they may be able to help you. If you dont want to worry your parents so much maybe you would consider living on campus in a dorm or apartment.
2007-02-14 00:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what i did at 21, find a place to stay, get on the unemployment benefit/get a job/student loan (ie get a source of income), tell your parents your staying over at a friends, and then ring them the next day and tell them that you've moved out.
My mum was furious when i moved out, but after a few weeks, she adjusted. You can't let your parents control your life, it's yours.
2007-02-13 22:30:48 · answer #9 · answered by William S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with AM.
I think you should stay until you graduate.
You have great parents that care for you, and are actually paying for your college education.
Come on, It's only two more years, and that's it.
It's a good thing you're never done drugs, keep that up.
Work hard, and you neveer know, they might figure you're responsible enough to leave early.
2007-02-13 23:57:21 · answer #10 · answered by la. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋