how do i tell my husband i want a divorce after 22 yrs.?

Question

he seem to have no respect for me and i'm never included in any decisions he goes out and takes upon his self to do whatever he thinks is for the best without a second thought like a house or car

Answer 1

Well... why should you think about how to tell him when all his life he's been selfish and never even dare ASKING you for decisions in your couple? Just go ahead and tell him what's going on. Now that you want to do it after all this time, you know your decision is irreversible so go ahead for a new life.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Is he abusive? If so, then quietly get away. If not, he just thinks as head of the house, he doesn't need a neck to turn his head, well then, please consider sitting down with the man. You may need to explain to him what you have noticed. Is he going thru mid-life crisis? That might be a part of it. A couple, especially one that has been married as long as you have, is supposed to be a partnership. Make decisions (especially the big ones) together-or at least, out of respect for you (let alone himself) get your thoughts and opinions on those big decisions. If this has been going on like this for the past 22 yrs., maybe you need to have a person who can be non-biased be the mediator between the two of you while you have this talk. Is this how his father was with his wife? That is where he got the example then. It sounds like you just need to sit down with him, (if you still love him, let him know that), but definitely, let him know what you have observed and felt over these past 22 yrs. Be willing to listen to his side too. Then, whether as you talk with him before his turn, or after, you can let him know that you want the divorce. Just please do him a favor, if at all possible, please don't have him served divorce papers at work. That is not the best place to do that. And, please, contact an attorney on how to do all this divorce stuff. I wish you the best. Take care. Oh yes, if he is truly willing/and does change his ways, would you consider not divorcing him?

Answer 3

WOW and it took you 22 years to decide this?
No offence (and I do believe that both people should be included in any big decisions) but if it took you 22 years to come to that decision I can sort of see why the husband decided on the house and the car.
You should ask to be included (and out of respect he should ask for your opinion) but if you procrastinated for 22 yrs.....
If you think you can make a better life for yourself then just sit down and explain the situation. I've seen it happen to friends after 29 yrs. Never understood it as it didn't involve cheating or anything else. Two people just drifted apart.

Answer 4

Ok girlfriend, dont jump the gun here..why does it have to be so black and white?!? Why dont you seperate for a while, and give yourself and him some time to think about the ramifications, the pros and cons.. I know, your sick of his sh!t, but are you going to just move on, after 22 years? Darn, that's a long time. I guarentee you the grass may seem greener on the other side, but it's not once you get over there. Maybe he does take you for granted. Maybe after 22 years, you are taking him for granted, too..( just a little?) Does he go out by himself because you dont like the same activities he does? Look, just tell him honestly how you feel, and tell him you want to seperate. Then give him the opportunity to win you back. It not a game, it's the mating ritual; time tested and successful marriage approved. Oh, and while he's gone, focus on your inner AND outer needs, go tanning, get your nails done, you know, feel good.

Answer 5

That's a tough one. The only thing that I can do is to think about what I would do if I were in your shoes. If you're a non-Christian, then just get the divorce...he doesn't have to know about it. If you are, then it's something that you need to pray about to make sure that that's the best route to take. Marriage is hard and I'm experiencing it. I encourage you to also seek self counseling. Try going to this website...troubledwith.com. It seems to be very resourceful.

Answer 6

I suggest you first that you see a counselor.
she can help you sort through your feelings and help you put together a vision for your life.

I am wondering; do you still love him? Do you want the marriage if he would change? Have you tried to convey your disappointment in how he does things?

Make a deliberate plan for yourself before you tell him.

Know how much he/you are worth and obligated for jointly.

Do things even now for yourself such as take a exercise class, meditate/visualize your future.

One does have to love ones self enough not to let others take advantage of you.

But it doesn't have to hurt others even as you pursue your own well being.

get counseling

good luck to you.

Answer 7

Its rather sad that you have to take such a painful descision after 22yrs of married life. It would be most better if could talk to him and patch the things up otherwise the hard option just them him how you feel and say that you want a divorce.

Answer 8

it doesnt matter if ur christian or not. u took vows with him and it would be better to keep those vows. if he didnt then that gives u right to divorce him. sure my husband makes decisions in the family with out telling me about it but the best thing that i can do is let him find out what a mistake he did alone. he will eventually know someday that u r his other half, but right now nagging him is not helping, its only challenging him to try out ways to accept ur approval. just pray for him and ask God to help ur husband to make the right decisions for the family. all u can do is say "Honey, I trust u on ur decision because God placed u as head over this family. so whatever u decide, I know that God helped u with your decision." that will encourage him to go ask God for guidance. dont give up on him--he's not where your at right now...meaning....your ready to work together as a team..but believe me, he is coming...just dont give up on him...its just as hard on him then u. :0)

Answer 9

Get a lawyer and file for it then the process server will be the bearer of bad tidings and not you . You may want to pack a few things ahead of time though and be ready to cut a trail in hast.

Answer 10

there are countless different questions that would desire to/would desire to be asked right here, however the actual question is...what's the main extreme element on your existence? My spouse and that i've got been separated for 7 months, she instructed me that she did no longer elect to have something to do with me, and she or he became having an affair. It took us an prolonged time to get via our issues and we nonetheless have themes yet we the two desperate that the marriage and the youngsters have been the main extreme element. we've labored via a great deal and proceed to artwork via issues, yet interior the top via making something of the relatives first in our lives, we each are turning out to be happier. i've got faith that dedication and sacrifice on no account flow unrewarded.