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my ex-boyfriend and I have found each other in my space, we have'nt had any communications for 10 years now and im married now and i think he is too, but my question is.. is it bad to still communicate with him just as a friend, is it considered as cheating ???

2007-02-13 17:50:08 · 29 answers · asked by lg112595 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

29 answers

no its not cheating.

2007-02-13 17:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Nope, i dont think so but be careful though because he's not an ordinary friend remember- he's still your "Ex-boyfriend" which means it's possible for you both to reminisce the past and bring back those good old feelings towards each other.

Yes, it's been 10 long years since you've had an affair but you're very much married now.
Don't play with the flame while it's still hot or you'll burn yourself.

2007-02-13 17:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by LadyLuv 2 · 1 0

I think it depens on your feelings towards your ex. I don't see it as cheating, but then it will be very hard to be positive in your marriage if you still or begin to have thoughts about your ex and if you see him. Sometimes the ex can be enticing and exciting, especially if the memories are great and things are not so good in the marriage. I would take time to think about your feelings towards your ex and your dedication to your marriage. Talk to a friend who you feel can honestly listen (and not talk!) and then work out if this 'friendship' is going to work. It's possible that it is not worth pursuing, it is wonderful to have good memories of a great ex, but they do not always transfer to what is going on in your life now. I wonder why you say that you 'think' he is married to, I would have thought that you would have found this out if you have been communicating with him. Why hasn't he told you about possible children wife etc? Just be careful, make sure you talk to someone!

2007-02-13 18:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by ericksonclare 1 · 0 0

Good, it doesn't matter what we say....You may have seemed him up on facebook - you understand you are going to claim hello regardless of anything...! But, no you should not. It might be harmless, but it's opening a can of worms that should stay closed. Many men will see no main issue with you doing this - but women understand. Something you are announcing to yourself - it is not in simple terms curiosity which is riding you or why are not you just fascinated by your historic PE instructor and appeared him up on facebook and so on and so forth?? If you're completely happy along with your new partner, do not rock the boat, tempting as it can be (and i do understand the temptations). The old relationship ended for a rationale, and it was messy. Just leave it.

2016-08-10 15:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by deuell 4 · 0 0

If it's just a platonic and/or verbage based relationship, your most likely fine. Let your husband know that you have been in contact with an ex who is now married- see how he feels.

If there is nothing to be concerned about, and your husband does not find it threatening then your okay.

But only YOU know the answer to that.
But generally, no, that is not cheating if there are no romantic emotions envolved.

2007-02-13 20:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

depends on the situation. can be bad, can be no big deal. if you want to look a guy up after 10yrs, it was probably a somewhat deep relationship, which can be a threat to your relationship. you are not clear on what your ex's intentions would be before seeking them out. and most importantly.... why? it has been 10 yrs, your life has moved on, and your ex is no longer part of it.... why do you need to be friends?

so... as a general rule, it is a bad idea. not to say it isn't ok in principle, but the willingness to put that kind of pressure on your marriage can lead to bad things.

2007-02-13 18:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by foo__dd 3 · 0 0

I think it is sad that you want to communicate with your ex boyfriend after being a married woman now. I don't think that is a wise thing to do. That is actually disrespecting your husband by wanting to keep in contact with him. The only thing I can think of is, you want to keep in contact with him because you still have feelings for him. Hope that's not the case.

I would leave him alone, otherwise you are asking for some problems in your marriage now.

2007-02-13 18:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

going throught the a very very similar thing myself at the moment, I would have to say that it depended on what you hoped to get out of the friendship, and if your partners know you are in contact. These are vital. For me, my ex and I thought of it as catching up with really old friends, and on that note everyone is comfortable with the situation. We don't want anything to come of the friendship, and our partners know we are in contact, and ok with that. In fact, when I got the email from my ex, it was my fiance who suggested we become friends in the first place. Openess and honesty, with everyone including yourself is what is important, and for me, the first thing I asked myself...because memories naturally come up..was "would I have him back?" the answer for me was no. I am not in love with him, I love him and always will...we were engaged, but i don't want to be with him, and with that in mind I knew that a friendship was possible....

2007-02-13 18:05:34 · answer #8 · answered by chelles_insanity 4 · 0 0

You need to let your husband know that you are communicating with him and if he has a problem with it, stop it. The same goes for his wife if he is married. If neither spouse has a problem with it and there are no feelings for each other, it's fine. If there are any kind of feelings other than friendship, you need to cut it off right now because that spells trouble.

2007-02-13 17:54:41 · answer #9 · answered by Dyan 4 · 0 0

To what good purpose is it to contact your former boyfriend? It could easily lead into emotional infidelity which could introduce pain into your reationship with your husband. You are married and, hopefully, mature. Why do you need My Space? Aren't there some mature activities in which you and your husband can become involved? I doubt if you would be happy if your husband started connecting with an old girlfriend.

2007-02-13 17:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by jom 4 · 0 1

As long as it's above board I wouldn't consider it cheating.
You can have male friends and I assume you would be OK with him having a female friend also.

2007-02-13 18:00:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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