Im confused!?

Question

My husband and i seperated in Dec.(his choice) and he got an apartment. 2 months later we decided to work on the relationship. NOW for the past 3 weeks he has been staying at our home everynight and never wants to go to his Apt. if he does it is only for an hour or two a day, which is ok with me but i don't feel like we are working on the relationship. we have sex but don't kiss or show afffection otherwise. we are not doing anything for V-Day. he says he really screwed up and wants to square things away with me but i am not sure what to think. Is this his way of "working" on things? what do you think of the situation? any idea what he is thinking?
also I am 9 months pregnant.

we kiss a little during sex but not like we used to.

Answer 1

I have to say, I would be confused to but I think there may be several different answers to this.
1. He is sorry, loves you, wants to come back but wants to slide in without having
to work at it and without any pressure from you.
2. Things aren't going well otherwise and he needs a warm body for now.
3. Last but now least, you will be having his baby soon and he wants to be there
for the baby.
No matter what, I hope he is sincere.......

Answer 2

u need our prayers since u 2 can't communicate with each other write down on a paper what you want from him. use a + 10 to - 10 on how important it is. have him do the same thing and once both of u are done make sure u both have time to spend and talk about what you both wrote. Make a promise to each other U will not get mad at what the other has wrote as there will always be things that are more important to a women then a man and see if this way u 2 can communicate as what is most important thing in relation ship 2 u .

Answer 3

Are you serious....Ok I am not trying to tell you what to do but I do believe that having sex this late can be detrimental to the baby....Now, if I were in your shoes I wouln't even mess with him even though it is your husband....you have no idea what he has been doing at his apartment...I mean I honestly feel that you guys should talk things out and like start over again until everything is worked out. I wouldn't sleep with him again until the home is stable and together......When I say start all over again I mean like go out..have fun...to me if I were in your shoes I would have to trust someone.....I would take it slowly...Besides you are prego....You can't just get caught up in the moment and be like oh dang we were suppose to be talking.....not going to get anything back in order. Decisions have to be made and priorities have to be put in place because you are about to have a baby. A baby needs, the basic necessities but also it to be able to feel love, to feel safe and secure....

Even though he is your husband and you probaby miss him and he misses you.....you guys need to stop merging and make some decisions for your home and life....


Just to let him come back home without really discussing anything...me personally I would feel like he used me to satisfy him and it is nothing wrong with that but that needs to take a back seat until some ground rules are set and everything is taken care of...

Now me personally I would really have to do some serious praying because I don't know what he has been doing for the past two months...I mean he can tell me anything. I don't know if your husband tells the truth or not but....Basically, I really think you should pray and ask God on how to deal with this issue...Don't go by what anybody says...You pray until you get an answer.....I might be meant for you to get back together and the again you never know......It really depends on a lot of different things...Me personally I would pray until I got an answer from God. He knows everything and what is to come....You listen for God. That way you can't go wrong. If the situation was bad you don't want it to get worse...WHATEVER YOU DO...YOU MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN TO GOD AND LET HIM GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS.....YOU CAN'T GO WRONG.

Take care and I hope this helps.

Answer 4

well, umm,,my past expierience wasnt good,but I went through this too.
You said you 9 months pregant,but is this your 1st baby?
I ask that because I am thinking maybe he is scared.
Did he mes around with someone else ?
If so, you cant trust him - once a cheater,always a cheater..
This could be his way of working on things,but you need to ask yourself if you feel comfy with the situation - if you do then its ok - if not or if your unsure - then I would tell him how your feeling and tell him he needs to stay at his place at night.
You said there is no showing of affection - this in itself should give you an idea of where things are at between the two of you..
You need to sit down and think - or even right it on paper as to the pro's and cons of the situation - and how do you realy feel ?

If you dont feel that the two of you are realy working on things,then its time tot ake a step backwards - tell him how your feeling,and tell him he needs to be at his place not yours. Tell him he can take you out places and you can do things together,but otherwise your place is yours and his is his.
How about some counceling ?

If I were in your shoes, I would say ok,look,you want to work on things,then your going to spend most of the time at your place and some occasional nights at mine are ok,but you can take me out on dates and if your really serious about the relationship then your going to go to counceling too...

If your getting along well enough to have a descent conversation with him - then tell him how your feeling - be honest and dont beet around the bush. I would set your foot down and say this is the way its going to be - if he doesnt like it then its time to move on.

Answer 5

Go with your instinct if you think something is not right. Sit down and talk to him about what you would like to change/fix in your relationship. Let him know that you don't feel like you guys aren't working on anything. I'm not trying to put things in your head, but I'm pretty sure you're wondering why he NEVER wants to go to his apartment. Don't get caught up in your feelings for him and get hurt again. You and your baby deserves better than that. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 6

It doesn't really sound like he's trying to improve the relationship. It's the same thing I did when I was separated from my first wife.

We had sex and I ended up staying more than I should have. I realized that it was over and this was just me trying to hang on to what I want. That's really all he's doing if he hasn't tried at all.

Answer 7

It sounds to me like he really does want to work on things with you. My experience is that guys aren't good at talking about their emotions, as we girls are, so it is a lot harder for him. Instead of giving into the sex, tell him that you want to work on the relationship before you start having sex again. This will give you both time to work on your relationship without clouding your judgements by sex.

Answer 8

No he is not really working on the relationship, just move on and tell him go back to his apartment and not mess with you no more unless he is willing do everything along with having sex.

take care and hope everthing comes out the way it should be.

Love & Preayers!

Answer 9

bare with me for a second here....your'e about to produce a child, you're hormones are !@#$%&*....!!!! ofcourse your'e gonna want to kiss and cuddle like no other....but at the same time, you're gonna be a little emotional....that's completely understandable....just because yall separated doesn't mean his return is going to bring the same romance as when yall first started dating...and as for the whole "Feb 14. thing", that's all a marketing scheme....i would consider your "youngin'" first and the importance of your relationship right after that....good luck with the success of your childbirth!!!

Answer 10

I suggest you talk to him about your confusion. Find out what exactly he means by, "working on the relationship". Does he feel your relationship has improved over the past 3 wks? Or simply that his living conditions have.......?