We got married before a judge and I'm the only one that had a ring. He didn't pick out the ring, he gave me money and had me pick out what I wanted. Which was ok but I secretly wished he would've picked out something from the heart instead. We will be married for 3 years coming this June and I bought him a wedding band for Christmas because he said he should wear one and promised me he would if I got him one. He told me he would wear it when hes not working and getting dirty for chance of losing it. But its been almost 2 months and it is still in the box. He doesn't get dirty when hes working, he sits at a desk all day. I can understand if he was going to an oil rig everyday like his job sometimes requires but he doesn't. Is there something I'm missing here that he won't wear it? I DO NOT pressure him about it. I have asked him once or twice to try it on because I think it needs resized. He says he can't get used to it. Is there some hidden message why he wont wear it, or am I...
2007-02-13 17:28:45 · 29 answers · asked by Koozie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
worried for nothing? He made a promise to me and I haven't seen one hint of him planning on keeping that promise because even when we go out to eat and I asked him if he would wear it, he made the excuse that its uncomfortable and I told him that is normal because he has to get used to it. I did when I first got my ring, it felt weird to me.
2007-02-13 17:30:33 · update #1
My main Q is, why if he brought up the fact that he should wear a ring, I never asked him to, I like the idea but if wasn't my idea. He told me I should get him one when I asked what he wanted for Christmas. It was his idea all the way...
2007-02-13 17:35:56 · update #2
hempeater...we own our business so its not really a go no where job
2007-02-13 17:38:25 · update #3
If he's at a desk all day, I would be suspicious. My husband sits at a desk all day, and his ring has never left his finger. When he was working a job that caused him to get filthy...he STILL wore it. At first he didn't (the 1st two days) because he said he didn't want to ruin it. But then he put it back on and always left it on because he said he feels wierd without it on, and he doesn't want to send the wrong message. the wrong message being that he's single, or in a loveless marriage. If I were you, I'd be mentioning it alot more than 2 times, and if he won't even give it a chance to get used to....he's got to go, cuz he's up to something!
2007-02-13 17:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by RAE-J 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't freak out, the ring might honestly just be uncomfortable. I had heavy, platinum rings and rarely wore them because they were so uncomfortable. I was often chided for doing so but I really just didn't like the way they felt. I did wear them, however, if I was leaving the house to go somewhere social or crowded, so as to state that I was married, it seemed like the courteous thing to do.
Take him to the jewelry store and have him pick out one he can live with. Make sure he gets something of his own choosing that he feels comfortable with. After that, no more excuses unless he really is working on an oil rig or chopping down trees or something. But do get a hold of yourself and respect that he may have a legitimate comfort issue.
2007-02-14 03:46:46 · answer #2 · answered by tiny_dog10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband hated the way it felt to wear a wedding band because he had never worn a ring before in his life. Give the man a break, if he doesn't wear it take it back and use the money for something else.
FYI; A married man wearing a wedding band doesn't mean he is commited. He can take the sucker off and cheat and there are some women who don't care if that band is there or not.
2007-02-14 06:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does not wear a ring. He sometimes works around machinery, yet he's in sales. I don't make an issue of it.
I'm not sure what his ideas are on this, but was there something in the back of his mind telling him not to marry?
Maybe it's just the jewelry thing. He said he can't get used to it. I suggest you not make an issue of this if the marriage is otherwise good.
Also, today I ran out of the house in a hurry and I had put on hand lotion, got preoccupied and when I was at the salon, I realized I didn't have on my ring. No biggie, it doesn't mean I'm any less married.
2007-02-14 02:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't want to be married. If he does then why won't her wear the ring? There is something about not wearing the ring, sounds like he wants a lover( or mother, to take care of him) but not a wife. You will need to discuss this and find out a few things. I would get to the bottom of this before you waste to much time in this relationship. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-02-14 01:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by 1TON 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason he doesn't wear his ring is because he doesn't want certain women to know he's married. Basically, he wants his cake and eat it too. Some women think it's great to see a man with a wedding ring but others won't go near them...he's trying not to ward off the ones that won't go near him. Try this one day, don't wear your wedding ring and see how long before he notices it. When he mentions it, explain to him how you feel about him not wearing his, then go from there.
2007-02-14 01:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by HelpWanted 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 17 years and I did not even own a ring. Everybody and their mother knew I was married. My wife never complained because she knew the first thing out of my mouth was I missed wife when I was away from her. Even today as a single man I still don't have any jewelry on my person anywhere. I don't even wear a watch. I get the time from my cell phone.
2007-02-14 01:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by Looking Forward 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this, but if he was happy and in love and wanted to make you happy, he would wear that ring. He obviously knows you want him to wear it, but he doesn't give a crap. He sounds very selfish, controlling, immature, and trapped in the relationship. I know I won't get best answer, but at least I told you what you need to hear.
Good luck.
P.S. You can do better.
2007-02-14 01:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by sweet_leaf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
before i start my keyboard has a problem, the key between "c" and "b" doesn't work...so any unexplained "-" are because of that.....anyway, there are clearly many possible situations here...A) does he not like wearing a ring for comfort reasons?..possibly! i hate wearing a watch when i type on a keyboard, maybe he feels the same way for whate-er reason...B)maybe he has a personal issue with it...maybe he is resentful for some "odd" reason...i don't think this particularly means he has any intentions of cheating on you .i think that he might just not appro-e of the way this whole "ring thing" has been handled...C)he has marriage issues....that's not good...but sadly enough it happens..get counselling..D)he's either cheating or stalking his prey!!!!....get a lawyer!!!.........if i were you i would carefully and fully approach each scenario..i hope it's "A" ....it seems to me you are completely "engulfed" with the fact he want wear the ring...keep your eyes out for other things as well...if he treats you like the way you want to be treated...don't worry..
2007-02-14 02:06:00 · answer #9 · answered by michael m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A wedding ring is a sign of love and commitment to each other. If he doesn't want to wear one but stays in the marriage then perhaps he isn't proud of it and all he want is show the world that he isn't committed.
Dear, that is a serious problem. You should talk to him about that. Tell him what you feel.
2007-02-14 01:43:24 · answer #10 · answered by LadyLuv 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋