Psycho-analyze me for a second here...?

Question

I understand entirely why people tend to hit things when they are ticked. What I can't understand is why the only thing I want to harm when angry is myself.

Three years in and out of psychiatric care has lead me to the conclusion that I'll do better if I learn what to do on my own, but it's obvious that the internet does not tell you everything the same way the psycho-whatevers don't allways give you the why of your actions, at least not when you're a minor. I need the why, and from there I can figure out what to do about it.

No, I am not reffering to cutting. That is fairly understood at tthis point. I'm talking about this weird reflex type deal where I wail on the sides of my own head or my fore-arm. Even when I was younger I'd beat my head against the wall, and after an incedent today I started wondering why I do it. I don't think I blame myself for all my problems, but it may be due to the fact that there sure as hell ain't anyone willing to admit their mistakes.

Answer 1

I have studied this in depth i think that it is possible that you may have autism, autistic people are very prone to head banging if this is the case it is also possible that you may never understand why you do this, but there are things you can do to help. i now this may sound like strange therapy but the best thing to do is to get a puppy, when ever your upset they really help get a breed like a beagle, toy poodle,or something that tends to stay small. try to keep a diary, write down what happened before you got upset, was it to loud, were you in a new setting, did someone upset you. this will help see what triggers it. also do you dislike loud noises, how do you do with people do you understand them,or would you rather not be around them. look up autism and see what you think if it sounds like you and you would like to email me and i can help you understand it.

Answer 2

I'm not sure exactly why you do this, but I'd like to write something that maybe hard to take in, but I hope it helps, somehow: I know that no matter what we have been through in our lives, we have to learn to deal with it in a way that we can accept what has happened, and move past it. It's taking responsibility for our own lives. I know that some of us have been through some horrible, and damaging experiences with the people in our lives, or even some we have only just crossed paths with, but these experiences can be so traumatizing, torturous, and debilitating (may have spelled that wrong), that we are left with only the "rubble" (ourselves)from the aftermath. I also know that if someone chooses to, they can take steps that will help them be able to live with what has happened to them, and start living on a journey to recovery. One thing that I believe is necessary to begin this journey of recovery is to learn to stop blaming others for how we have turned out. I know that it is very easy to blame anyone, or anything, or society as a whole, or whomever, for the person we've become as a result of the "life" of abuse that we've endured. But that will only keep in your own prison of hell and pain. There is nothing you can do to change the past, you cannot change what others have done to you, but you can realize that it has happened, accept that for what it is, and know that no matter what you've been through, you are still the wonderful, beautiful human being that was born on this earth once upon a time. You still have the life that God has given you, or if you prefer, the gift of life from a "higher power". You can still move past what has happened, don't blame anyone, don't blame yourself, just accept it. Just know that somewhere in that pain, is a lesson waiting to be learned, a lesson possibly consisting of learning how to appreciate life and the beauty of it. May not sound possible at this point, but believe me, it is so true. The more pain you have experienced, I believe, is directly related to how much joy and happiness that you will be capable of knowing in your life. Please, just keep this in mind, if it doesn't sound "right" at this time, it might soon...I will pray for you and I do hope you find the happiness that awaits you...

Answer 3

It's good you have finally wondered why you do this. It's a good sign you're ready to really try to discover a reason. It sounds like someone made you feel worthless or frustrated maybe when you were very young. Frustration usually at feeling no one is "hearing" you can be a powerful thing. Try journaling. I know it may sound trite but you'd be surprised what comes up when you just let yourself start writing. Another way to get to some hidden things is make a collage (or several or many!) Get some magazines and cut out whatever strikes you. Glue them on some poster board and see what you find out about yourself. This helps because what you're drawn to cut out can sometimes tell you what's important to you or what you have trouble saying. Give it try and see what happens!

Answer 4

It begins with making changes in your life you do not like. Learning self control is one of life's hardest lessons to learn. Taking care to think through the decisions your make so that you will not hate and blame yourself for the outcome if it turns out less than what you were expecting. Learning to think of others so that you are not the center of attention in your world. Some of the happiest people are the ones who can share themselves with others. Find a charity, or an organization to help others and share yourself with those who have disabilities or are also having a difficult time in life. To take the focus off of yourself and put it on others will in turn teach you to love others, and in return you will learn to love and accept yourself.

Answer 5

I hope you'll bear with me as I consider as many possibilities as I can come up with. I'm not any kind of a specialist, so please don't take this as gospel truth, and please seek actual medical help.

Okay, first of all, though it may not be cutting, it seems that this still counts as self-injury. Now whether or not this self-injury stems from the usual mechanisms or not is still to my mind a major question.

Your perception of it as a reflex suggests that perhaps you might be suffering from some compulsion. Have you ever shown any other signs of something like obessive compulsive disorder?

It is also possible that if you have a severe case of ADD or ADHD, that what is happening, is that when you are frustrated, startled, or taken off guard in any way shape or form, your brain goes into some sort of a panic mode and in reaching out for something to grasp onto, leads you to hurt yourself. In so doing, your brain in reaction would release endorphins and would provide it with the chemicals it needs to focus. If this turns out to be the case, you might try finding other means of endorphin release, so that you can stop risking major injury to yourself.

If there are any emotional issues that might be compelling you to self-injury, please ttake care of them, although it doesn't sound like this is the case.

Answer 6

Just a simple thought here ..... I was wondering if you could possibly be trying to distract yourself from the pain you feel inside by causing an external pain ?