I actually set up my teacher's husband to prove to her that he was a cheater. She was a little pretentious, yet sweet at the same time and she did nice things for me and I did the same. She just kept passing judgement on everyone else's relationships and I found that to be messed up. I set up her husband by creating a fake email address and alias online. He took the bait and met up with me at a restauraunt . We went on a second date and ended up sleeping together. Somehow, she found out and called me every name in the dictionary. I understand her anger and I can never forgive myself. I want to pick up the phone everyday and call her to tell her how sorry I am, but can't. I feel like a coward and a tramp. I'm a young 23 year old girl and I know that I wasn't raised to be this person, I'm really sweet, I am, but I made a mistake. She forgave him, but not me. She loves him though, so I understand. She's ignored my attepts to apologize. This guilt kills me daily...what to do?
2007-02-13 16:50:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sometimes we can't go back and undo things, she probably will never forgive u, it was a bad thing that u did, because it hurt her, just forgive yourself, and learn from what u did, and don't let it happen again.
2007-02-14 03:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Regardless of what you thought was best for her and her marriage, was not. It was her life and her marriage, you should not have interfered just because she choose not to believe you.
Who knows, maybe she already knew that he was a cheater and didn't want to admit it to you (as it is her personal life) and she choose to be with him anyways because she loved him more than his mistakes/poor choices.
Trying to force her to see it/admit it to you should not have been your concern. The real problem here is YOU. You obviously have an issue with people who do not 'need' your help/opinion or worldly information. You have an inferiority issue and find the need to prove yourself to others, but mostly to yourself.
You are as you said, 23.
This is not a suprise.
You choose to involve yourself in someone else's life for your own selfish reasons- disguised as a good intention for another. That is very immature, foolish, and self absorbed.
The wife wants to never think of you again for this very reason, and she has every right. Leave her alone, she wil never forgive you. And probobly for several reasons.
You:
1. Got involved in her marriage/personal life.
2. Thought you knew what was best for her (showing her that you think you are smarter than her, thus insulting her).
3. Forced her to realize something that she either didn't want to, and/or put her in the postion that her 'dirty' laundry was aired to you and others.
4. YOU SLEPT WITH HER HUSBAND!!!
So, she thinks your a ******* selfish idiot ***** who does not even deserve the time of day from her- and she's right.
YOU need to learn these very important lessons, otherwise you will remain a horrible person and feel the guilt forever.
2007-02-13 20:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you had other motives when you started out on this escapade. Perhaps you should address why you did that in the first place. If you were honestly trying to 'teach her a lesson' you would have stopped earlier on. I don't know all the facts but I really think you should re evaluate your motives....as for the guilt, what did you think would happen? Although guilt actually indicates that you do care for your friend, the only advice I could give here would be to give it time. If she wants to forgive you then thats up to her. If she doesn't then unfortunately you may have lost a friend.
2007-02-13 17:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by DiseaseDetective 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone and leave him alone. You betrayed a trust and every time she sees you she will be reminded of that. You may be sweet but you showed really poor judgment. Show good judgment now by staying away from them and trying to think through the consequences of your future actions.
2007-02-13 17:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just take it as a lesson learned homie. I mean you tried to do something good and it back fired. Unfortunately she isn't the type who believes that men come and go but friends are forever. At least she got her proof that he was a cheating bastard!
2007-02-13 17:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by felita2004 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hear that you feel sad and guilty for what you did. You don't need her forgiveness, but you do need to forgive yourself.
Regardless of your past, your future is always clean slate. Forgiving yourself doesn't mean what you did was right, it means that you stop punishing yourself for what you did.
You tried to apologize, she doesn't want to hear it, let it go. Forgive yourself and be true and honorable to yourself.
Kind regards
2007-02-13 17:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is nothing you can do, just leave them both alone, dont speak to them again, her seeing or talking to you only brings back her pain and memories, the sweetest thing you can do is leave this situation ALONE and pretend it never happened, and NEVER do it again, she shouldnt have to forgive you ever, thats not her job, but you need to stay, out of sight and out of mind. best of luck♥
2007-02-13 16:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess your teacher has taught you a lesson you'll never forget.
It's not her forgiveness you require, but rather your own.
2007-02-13 16:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1-800-UHAUL I'd start packing and learn from this one-sorry
2007-02-13 17:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
live and learn
2007-02-13 16:53:56 · answer #10 · answered by noname 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋