What is the appropriate way to clear the air with your supervisor?

Question

Recently learned that my supervisor lied. I have proof. I'm his partner on a project at work. I found out by accident that he didn't really do what he said he did. It really disturbed me & disappointed me.Learning this info showed that he has no respect for me. My admiration & my respect for him is now tarnished. I've been giving him the cold shoulder & avoiding him.
This project involved exercising the elderly. In the past, I made a list of names for him to exercise with when I'm too busy. Some of these elderly can't speak for themselves because of dementia. Upon learning this disturbing relevation, now I wonder if he's been doing what I requested him to do in the past. These elderly people need to be exercise for a reason. Actually, he did their assessments. I want to let him know how I feel re this info but at the same time I don't want to embarass him. I can report him but I think this should just be between the two of us. I want to write him a note instead of face to face.

Answer 1

In life, the right thing to do is usually the most effective thing to do and also the hardest thing to do.

What you SHOULD do is discuss the matter with him in private. Be honest and direct about it. Your message to him should be something like this: "I have learned that in this instance, you lied. You said you did this, but in fact, you didn't. This disturbs me because it means now I don't know whether to trust your word. I've asked you to care for certain people, but now I don't know for sure if you actually followed through."

Then just shut up and listen. Turn on your radar and listen for what comes next...excuses or legitimate reasons? Ultimately, you'll have to make the call whether to continue trusting him. But until you have this dialogue, you will never know for sure.

I know it's hard, but I wish you courage. Good luck.

Answer 2

Don't write the note, it is better to meet him and thrash the matter face to face. It may be a lapse on his part and he may have a reason for it, give him a chance. If it is a deliberate ommission on his part, he will not repeat it, if he feels u are keeping a check.