Our marriage has been in doldrums for the last one year during which my wife had been in email contact with her classmate and I found a loveletter written by her one month back. I was always begging her to come live with me after we seperated six months back. She is sad now for the letter and sorry for me. I know she loves me and her parents were the cause of fights between us most of the time. As I am not sure whether I could ever be good enough for her and as things will not be settled on my terms, I want to get on with my life, though I am lot worried about our kids and a little about her as she will be left alone. I am broke now and my presence may not be helpful to them either. So I want to remove myself so that her parents will take care of her as they are sufficiently rich. They neither helped me or her so long as I had an asset to sell, I neither bothered.Can I ever be happy in a relation in which she has no respect for me and her parents who she sides with, hate me?
2007-02-13 16:13:00 · 7 answers · asked by havah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are married for 14 years and it pains me to see all these years go to dogs.I never received a word of praise for having spent all my money for the family though I wasted some of it on failed ventures.
2007-02-13 16:15:03 · update #1
Well if you are ready to move on then you are ready - sounds like they tried their best to suck the life out of you- sometimes enough is enough. If you choose to stay, then make sure it is for all the right reason because if it isn't then it is all a lie.
2007-02-13 16:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry. My opinion? If she loves you- truly loves you, which it sounds like she did or does to be with you for 14 years, Then try again. Get counciling, and I would suggest to her to disconnect from her parents for awhile, to make things go. How awful for the kids to have parents and grandparents to love, but they all feud. My husbands parents hate me, will never help us, and I have been nothing but good for their son. Come to find out, they never liked any girl before me. They are just miserable people, and misery likes company. Bryan had to separate from them, as we were trying to make our family whole again after all the emotional strain they had put on us. The bible states marriage as two becomes one. and one of the vowes- let NO MAN put usunder. I pray you will make the right moves. There is alot invested. Start dating again! Make it fun! seek counciling! and most important- remember, lack of money can cause hardships and arguments. But having someone in your arms on a cold lonely night sure beats and extra $1000 in the bank. She was with you 14 years. It wouldn't hurt to try! Besides. Did you knwo most women cheat because they feel emotionally withdrawn from their spouse? That man may have been saying everything you used to say. Say those things again, look her in the eyes, and tell your wife you love her.She is beautiful You want her. And mostly, you need her. good luck, let me know what you decide to do!
2007-02-14 00:42:31 · answer #2 · answered by big mommasweeta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really cared and really wanted to make it work. But sometimes after youve done all you can do it is time to move on, even if it is only to better yourself, so you can be a good stable dad to your kids. I wish you luck! Ps. I was married for 23 years and my ex. decided he wasnt happy anymore and left, he regrets it now but I am happily remarried and dont have all that stress in my life. My two children, (adults now) who I know it was hard on at the time, always tell me how happy they are for me now when they see how happy I am. I would have stayed in my first marrage forever, because I thought it was the right thing, (we were married in high school) If it hadnt been for him making the decision I wouldnt be happy like I am now.I dont have any hard feelings for him and hope he finds someone who makes him happy as well.
2007-02-14 00:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by seven-11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt sound as if you really "love her" anymore. In fact, I think you may be looking for us to give you the go ahead to "get on with your life". If you have any feelings for her at all they are probably the "I wish it could be like this" daydream. You know what it was like for you and you know that it is not going to change so why worry about leaving? Do justice to your children and show respect for their mother but don't stay out of guilt or a false hope for a better tomorrow unless you are willing to compromise.
2007-02-14 00:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Poohcat1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong if you need to move on - do so. Parents should stay out of marriages and let couples work everything out. Move on and try to be wise and saving and stay out of bad adventures. Be wise and saving and start your life over. Maybe next time will work out better. Good Luck and try to find some kind of peace and happiness.
2007-02-14 00:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for you to be the head of the family; move away from her family with your wife and children. No need to give up now when you both love each other.
2007-02-14 03:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by starflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her, in order to be happy she will have to move away from the parents, unless she is willing it can't work out for u and her. love should not be measured by finances, it all about what is inside a person that matters. what is in their hearts, and how well they treat u. her parents are unfair to u. confront her, ask her to come home, what do u have to loose? if she refuses than u have your answer and maybe should consider moving on in life.
2007-02-14 11:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋