Can any please look over my love sonnet that I wrote for a class project??? It has to follow the format a,b,a,b, c,d,c,d, e,f,e,f,g,g, Does the sonnat make sense? how is the organization? Also, it has to be 10 syllables per line. I know mine are more than 10, but how can I correct them wihtout losing the entire sentence???
2007-02-13 16:10:49 · 2 answers · asked by Kelly 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
On a mountain beneath a bright starry sky
Gazing now on the moon I am dreaming away
By a window I sit while the night hurries by
Til the sun in its warmth welcomes in the new day
Someone near, yet so far in my dreams abides
The one who I dream of this cold winter night
How I long with my heart to be by hIS side
Til the mountains awaken in morning's new light
Him close in my arm, to know he is real
The one I now dream of, and yearn for so much
To see her, to kiss her, to touch her - to feel
On the day when we meet, when at last do I touch
My heart's deep desire now at last have I found
And my longing fulfilled, now my love has no bound
2007-02-13 16:13:49 · update #1
thanks for pointing that out, about the gender chnage. I forgot to switch that!
2007-02-13 16:45:05 · update #2
shall i compare thee to a summer day,
thou art more lovely and more temperate,
u should give this to ur gf.......
good luck........!
2007-02-13 16:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by mamin_87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad but your love switches sexes in the second stanza. If that's what you're into, it's none of my business, but how true can your love be if it's going to two people?
2007-02-13 16:21:39 · answer #2 · answered by kittydoormat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋