2007-02-13 15:56:34 · 26 answers · asked by ulrichrcb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are speaking of still having feelings of attachment for him, then of course not, That's something not within your control. If you are showing love and kindness to him as in you are still nurturing your love then you might want to think again as that's like dumping gold down a dark empty well. You will never get it back and it gets you nothing in return (not that loving acts should be expected to, exactly). I guess I'm trying to say that the energy that you are spending if you are still in a relationship could be better spent on someone or something that doesn't hurt you and insult you. You can't heal from what he has done if you continue to tell him that it's OK for him to hurt you and you might as well walk up to him and say "Honey, it's OK if you use me to do your laundry, keep your home, raise your children, and receive your semen while you also are F*cking another woman whenever you please. Please continue to disrespect me. And while you're at it, do let everyone know you're doing it. Thank you honey, for dishonoring our marriage, our children, my body and me".
Love doesn't make a marriage. And it isn't about smart. But it wouldn't be too smart to continue to believe in him or the relationship. He needs to be shown that he cannot treat you badly. The only way to demonstrate that is to walk. He continues to do it because you are telling him that you don't mind.
2007-02-13 16:46:19 · answer #1 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid, and dont make yourself believe that you are. You cant help who you love and if he made the choice to cheat on you 3 times, then the problem is with him, not you. You will most likely always love him, but now it is up to you to make a decision about what to do about this. If you are still with him, will you be happy knowing what you know, can you get past it, will you ever be able to trust him again? Cheating is real serious, and it makes the spouse feel so many things and it gets confusing. Your heart feels cheated and tampered with. So if you still love him it is OK. But just think real hard about your future now that you know this, and decide if you get work this out or not. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-02-14 00:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by sneekygirl69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 28 years and my husband decided to cheat. Well now I am divorced but I will always love him. So I don't think you are stupid. The question I have is how long are you going to take that kind of disrespect? Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-02-14 00:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid at all . You are just loving and still want to have him in your life. He is the stupid one for cheating on a wonderful and loving wife like you. He does not deserve you. You have a BIG heart and i dont know if i could handle the things the way that you do. You are a hero to me:)
2007-02-14 00:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be stupid for loving him for cheating on you 3 times, but you are ignorant for putting up with his behavior. How could you allow this even after the 2nd time?
2007-02-14 00:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not stupid for still loving him. But you should not be with him. ONCE a CHEATER always a cheater. I would seperate from him if he is heart broken when you do that then he will change but there is no way in hell i would still be with my husband after cheating once.
2007-02-14 00:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by melvaldes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we can't help who we love, but it is unwise to stay with a man who has cheated 3 times. because u are not getting what u deserve out of the relationship. your allowing someone to hurt and disrespect u. personally it would be really hard to stay in love with a man who did this, because after awhile doesn't it hurt ones self worth, making them feel so bad about themselves, that it would be really hard to even carry on such a relationship. if he is cheating it means he isn't happy with u, and sooner or later he is going to hook up with someone he really has feelings for and u will be history to him. so sometimes it is just best not to keep someone who has cheated over once.
2007-02-14 08:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the one you chose to love is very stupid. Keep trying to love, but be aware that he may bring home more than just heartache. STDs will be walking in with him, and don't believe him when he says "he used protection". I'm sorry you have to go through this. Good luck.
2007-02-14 00:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...and no. You can love him with everything you have, but obviously, he doesn't feel the same or he wouldn't cheat. The only thing that is certain here, is your sense of self worth becoming nil. You deserve better. I would recommend a good counselor or therapist, but for you and your lack of self-esteem, not your marriage. Love shouldn't hurt. Good luck!
2007-02-14 00:07:26 · answer #9 · answered by Lea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife has cheated 4 times . I love her still. That is my answer but Im afraid I cannot tell you a solution.
2007-02-14 00:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by Darren B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋