I just found out that my friend is a homophobe. He said that he was hiding it from me. I have a lot of friends that are homosexual and I feel weird around him now. I don't want to be his friend anymore but I've known him for 4 years and people say that I am discriminating. Do u think that it is possible that me and him can remain friends?
2007-02-13 15:48:11 · 14 answers · asked by : ) 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
yes it is possible for you all to remain friends......just because u have gay friends and then u have one who is a homophobe doesn't mean you choose one over the other......you have to ask yourself is he a good friend to you??? what does he do for you??? can he be replaced??? is he a true friend??? after u have done all this and you still want him as a friend then tell him that you have gay friends and u respect them and you would like for him to respect you by not insulting them in any way while in your presence.....u cant change people but you can help alter their ways every now and then....
2007-02-13 16:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by iyishab08 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think that you should end your friendship over that... He said that he was hiding it from you so that may mean that he was afraid to tell you about his homophobia because he thought that it might ruin your friendship...
I'm bi, and I just found out last week that my best friend was a homophobe (she doesn't know that I'm bi). At first was really upset about it, but I am accepting it more now. She is still my friend, I just look at her in a new perspective and am cautious about what I say around her (I don't like her as anything more than a friend, but I know a bit more about her than I wanted to know)
I'd say stick with your friend... Unless he starts making derogotorry comments toward homosexuals... It's not that bad to be a homophobe, the bad thing is when they start saying creul stuff.
Good Luck!
2007-02-13 15:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by make love not war 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's afraid of gays or just does not approve of the life style? People use the word "homophobe" loosely and not accurately. A true homophobic has a fear of homosexuals and wont go near them.
If its a "fear" thing, then you are discriminating against him for something he cant help -just like people who are afraid of heights, swimming, bugs and so on.
If its your friend's choice to not approve of the homosexual life style, then that's as much his right as it is yours to approve. Avoiding him for that reason is discrimination. You are disapproving of him for not having the same opinion as you. Its that simple
HOWEVER - if the man in question is the type that thinks gays need to be beaten or killed -THEN - its time to can the friendship and let him take a hike. And I would applaud you for that.
2007-02-13 16:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by Victor ious 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what a hard question! well i would guess that knowing this has changed how you feel about him. do the two of you have the same friends, the friends that you mentioned that are homosexual? do you think that you might be able to help him with his fear of gay people? because he does need to know that he is the one with a problem, not homosexuals. maybe just give it time and see how things work out. i have always told my kids that they should always be there for the ones that they love, that they don't have to always agree with someone to love them. you don't always have to believe in what someone does or says, but you can believe in them. i know it sounds sappy, but i believe that it is true. it is hard to change peoples thoughts and ideas on issues such as this, but you might say something now that will stick with him and cause him pause years later. i wish you and your friend the best of luck!
2007-02-13 16:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, realize that 'homophobia' doesn't really exist. It's just a hate term made up to make people feel bad about telling the truth. What is there to fear from them???
So why let it ruin a perfectly good friendship? Or are you sayint that YOU are being intolerant and judgemental?
Better think things through a little more carefully from now on.
2007-02-13 16:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, u are over reacting and i think its because u have known hin for so long and when time progress u think u know a person. what he did was just blew u into the wind when he told u b/c he probably had no clue. besides he felt like u were his friend and he could tell you without having the put downs like others would do who aren't friends. u say u have friends that are homo, so what is one more friend thats gay. u accepted him before, so don't turn on him now unless u scared that he might end of liking you.
2007-02-13 15:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by cute_dimples2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he's been in fear of your sexuality for four years? I think he might like you more than a friend and that's what's really getting to him......If not; it is weird, since that's how it makes you feel, that he just now is telling you of his phobia. Let him know your true feelings for him and that you care for longevity in the friendship you two have. If he cannot continue a friendship then I believe he likes you more than a friend, if on the other hand, he can continue with a friendship then he has been in fear of your sexuality and is now beginning to face his fear.....Good luck
2007-02-13 15:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could probobly still be friends but I think you know it can never be the same between you two. Homosexuality deosn't define a person but is part of that person. Personaly if one of my friends was a homophobe I would probobly stop talking to that person just because to me its the same as being born with blue eyes and haveing a friend who hates people with blue eyes(best analogy i could think of). You know you can never feel completely comfortable with that person unless you can show them that they should accept everyones differences and not discriminate.
2007-02-13 16:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by roy_g_biv_83 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did he admit it like he's admitting he has a problem? Or was it just him casually letting you know he hate gays? If he's willing to work on being a more tolerant person, then help him out. If he's ok with being a hateful person, then get away from the negative influence.
2007-02-13 16:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he hiding his feelings to continue to be your friend? If so, continue to be friends with this closet homophobe. Just agree to disagree.
2007-02-13 15:56:25 · answer #10 · answered by will s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋