My hateful wife?

Question

My wife of a year ( as of valentines day) is EXTREMELY hateful when she is mad, demanding a divorce, telling me that she will beat her self up and blame it on me, telling me she will cut herself, take away our 3 year old ETC ETC.. but when she calms down, she's sweet, and thinks i should forget all about what she said, and just forgive her.. but it happens all the time.. what should i do?

ok, background.. she has some kind or degenerative migraine disorder, with bi polar like symptoms, the kid isn't biologically mine ( and she can't have another, thus, i have none), and she belittles me during arguements.. aka : you suck in bed, thats why we don't have sex".. well, we have sex maybe once every 3 months, so no practice for me, and she's been with 35+ guys in her life, as opposed to me, maybe 6 girls.. so it's not like i'm a sex expert :P

Answer 1

You should tell her to get some professional help.
She needs to deal with whatever it is causing her to act this way.
Say it in a nice way though.
She must of gone through something when she was younger... that made her act this way..reactions like this grow on a person because of something they've been through.
She's not like that beacause she wants to be..she is like that because something must of happened to her..or she must of seen something..(like grown up watching her mum..or dad act that way)
I dont know what happened to her in her past..but even if she talks to you about it..you wont be able to help her entirely..get her to see a councellor..tell her if she wants you go with her...but it is best if she goes alone..cause she might get things of her chest about you..which she wont be able to talk about ..with you around.
she might not want to go...but you need to advice her to go...it will be good for her..it will make her stronger(emotionaly)..and will make the relationship better.

Answer 2

Get out now, and make it quick. Sounds like the woman I was married to. I put up with that for a long time, and if she is like my ex, she will not change.

There will come a time when you will stop forgiving her. I promise you that. Then you will just be living in the house, finding ways not to have to do anything with her. Seriously, my ex loves to shop. I would stay home with the kids every weekend and give her the chance to leave. I just wanted her gone. That, or we would take trips and spend time with her family. Anything to not be alone with her. If there was a weekend her family was gone, she didn't want to go to the mall, and we had to spend the weekend together, an argument would waste the whole weekend.

Finally, I had enough, and left. I knew she wasn't going to change, or get any real help, so I left. My life if much better now. When I have the kids, I have a blast. On my free weekends, I do whatever I want. No more arguments, or anything like that.

The only difference is that we had sex a lot more often than you seem to. But, honestly, it was physical, there wasn't any sort of connection there.

Leave, and leave quickly. I wouldn't worry about the threats. She will likely not do it. Or, if she does, Law Enforcements sees through that stuff a lot better these days.

Answer 3

If you believe she would be honest, ask her if she would do the same thing she is asking you to do if the roles were reversed. Also, ask that she go to counseling if you really want to stay with her, but you want that behavior to end. And if she isn't willing, then you should consider leaving her, it just doesn't sound like it is worth it, especially the threats about beating herself up and blaming it on you. Do you really want to be suspected of being a wife-beater, even though the charges are bogus?

Answer 4

All I can say to you buddy is that you KNEW about all thes before you married her, and you knew about all this before you even had sex with her!!! So You have no one to blame but yourself on this one..

BUT, You need to point this out to her. You need to tell that even though she may have a "mental disorder" that you are NOT her punching bag. That it is hurtful to you and the marriage.

You also need to remind her about the example she is setting your child. Threating to kill/cut herself is NOT healthy, and is not the sign of a GOOD mother. If she does this again, I think you need to call a mental health instiute and get the kidlet out of there asap. It's gonna hurt you, but you don't want your beloved to hurt herself or your child.

She needs professtional help. One day, instead of blowing up on you, she could do it to your child. not good eh?

Yeah, after reading your additional details, since you have NO biological children of your own with this women, get your butt OFF of yahoo answers, go look up a divorce attorny NOW NOW NOW NOW, call him tommorow and be filed for divorce by friday.

If you don't do this NOW, then you only are accepting all the mean things she's saying to you, and you are being, in other words, her b*tch...i'm sure you don't want that...do ya?

Need more help, feel free to email me..

Answer 5

First of all why is she so hateful? Is she feeling depressed or stressed out about something? Take her to a doctor ASAP and get her help now. She also needs to see a therapist or psychologist... I also recommend marriage counseling here. Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him from there and ask him for help and guidance in this matter. I feel she may have a disorder or something and just needs medical help and attention and you as her husband needs to be supportive and loving to her through this time. She needs you now more then ever.

Answer 6

She's Bi-polar and needs therapy...tell her to go get help. You shouldn't have to put up with her mood swings everytime she gets mad.
I suggest you get your a lawyer and draw up divorce papers and next time call her bluff and when she wants a divorce give her the papers and here is this what you want... !!!! ???

And see what happens.. you have to call her on it or she'll keep doing man.

Answer 7

Divorce. Never should have married in the first place. It's only gonna get worse and you know it. Why cheat yourself out of a normal and happy life putting up with that nut case?

Answer 8

she needs some therapy she could beat herself up and blame u, and than u would be in jail for domestic violence, and have a record. if it happens all of the time, ask her to go to therapy, is she refuses u best be making some different plans. living with this doesn't make for a very good marriage.

Answer 9

She might want to go to therapy (counseling) sounds BIPOLAR to me


Ok she needs professional help and u have to decide whether its all worth it. If she was to get help and her episodes stopped would she be the woman you wanted and loved and are u willing to help her. These are things u must ask urself. If she is not willing to get help then u deserve better and need to just go ur seperate ways. Good Luck

Answer 10

oh ma God what a phsyco, bring dat b@#ch 2 me and i'll beat her 4u. No1 deserves sh$t like that but know what.... If you stay with her, you deserve it n u must like it cause if you didn't then you'd have left the nasty thing ages ago. Take your child away other wise he may pick up her habits, stop feeling sorry for yourself n leave!