Is this a good paragrapgh?

Question

Im writing an essay on Animal Farm and heres my first body paragrapgh. Please read threw it and tell me if you seee anything that would sound better changed or if something like puncation ( especialy commas ). Thanks in adnvance for the help!

Heres my first paragrapgh:

In society individuals are not treated equally in terms of the labor they do. In fact, some people have to work hard under very harsh conditions. For example, on Animal Farm, “all the animals ( lower class ) worked like slaves”(Orwell 73).This kind of labor is unfair because they do not have a choice of what they must do; they are basically being forced to do it. Secondly, while some people work long and hard others hardly work at all. For instance, on Animal Farm, “During the spring and summer the animals work a 60 hour week”(Orwell 73).

While most of the animals are working long and hard, the pigs are spending their time making up excuses for why they don’t have to work as much. Lastly, while some people work to benefit a group others don’t work at all and expect to receive the same benefits the group receives. For example, on Animal Farm, “it was noticed that every time there was work to be done the cat could never be found“(Orwell 47). Even though the cat does absolutely nothing to help out the other animals he still expects to be fed on a regular basis. In the end no one will argue the fact that individuals in society are not being treated equally in terms of the labor they must do.

Answer 1

Spell check Your Question, and then copy the "Answer" given above.

Answer 2

In society, individuals are not treated equally in terms of the labor they do. In fact, some people have to work hard under very harsh conditions. For example, on Animal Farm, “all the animals(lower class) worked like slaves”(Orwell 73).This kind of labor is unfair because they do not have a choice of what they must do; they are being forced to do work. Secondly, while some people work long and hard, others hardly work at all. For instance, on Animal Farm, “During the spring and summer the animals work a 60 hour week”(Orwell 73). While most of the animals are working long and hard, the pigs are spending their time making up excuses for why they don’t have to work as much. Lastly, while some people work to benefit a group others don’t work at all and expect to receive the same benefits the group receives. For example, on Animal Farm, “it was noticed that every time there was work to be done the cat could never be found“(Orwell 47). Even though the cat does absolutely nothing to help out the other animals, he still expects to be fed on a regular basis. In the end no one will argue the fact that individuals in society are not being treated equally in terms of the labor they must do.

stop using for example, come up with something else to use before your quotations. make sure at the very beginning you make the transition from how people work to how animals work. the second sentence might want to be something like "Animals are treated equally in work either, and some have to work under harsh conditions just like people." other than that its good :]

Answer 3

When you cite, it should be like this:

worked like slaves (Orwell 73)."

Add comma after: Secondly, while some people work long and hard,