how can i trust him again?

Question

my husband & i have been married for 6 years. i was diagnosed with crohn's disease 3 years ago, & in the beginning he was very supportive of me & was willing to do everything to help me get better. but things have changed over the past couple of years & he has become very distant. all the meds i take have killed my libido, so i try really hard to take care of him in other ways & show him i love him, like working & taking care of his meals, cleaning & the sort. i am there for him when he needs a shoulder, but things are getting worse. i have suspisions that he has been cheating on me & have found eveidence that could prove it. however, he denighs it 100%. i want so badly to believe him, but it is very hard. on top of it, he has a major spending problem, even though we are going into debt consolodation and have 1 car repo'd, he still keeps buying things. i feel that 6 years is too much to throw away, but i am at the end of my rope! his communication skills suck. how can we ever work?

Answer 1

Marriage is not a matter of giving and taking...it is a matter of sharing...no matter what the consequences maybe.thru good times and bad times, in sickness and in health, for poorer or for richer..till death do you part.well, that's too good to be true for some couples who are undergoing a shaky relationship. there are consequences that's out of our control and it is during these trying times when we can truly test how deep and true our love for each other is.i suggest that you undergo a marriage counselling where you both can open up.its only the two of you who can settle things and reconcile your differences actually.even if you two go through a lots of inspiring and enlightening marriage counselling where you get advises... sure thing it can help but in the end it is still the both of you who decides what can be done in your marriage.why dont you stop arguing and try to take some time to sit down and see eye to eye and honestly tell each others' pains, fears,disappointments, doubts, anything you can think of asking. for it is only through open communication that one can possibly resolve differences.renew your vows.and more importantly...PRAY TOGETHER and ask for God's guidance and blessings. For HE answers all prayers in HIS own PERFECT TIME.MAY GOD BLESS US ALL!!!

Answer 2

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THESE PEOPLE. if you feel that 6 years is too much to throw away then don't throw it away. Whatever your doing now & it's not working, then TRY HARDER. some people think it's so easy to get counseling & walk away saying "you deserve better". Well, guess what. That's not really the answer to problems in marriage. It takes 2 to make a thing go right. You need to voice your opinions LOUDER to your husband until he actually hears it loud enough to get up & do something about it. Have faith, the harder you work to keep things together, the better the results will be in the end.

Answer 3

The 2 of you should go into counseling. If he is willing to work things out and make things better, but don't force him or push him into doing so..he will go even further away, and maybe even leave. If he has such a spending problem..cut up the cards...I have done it, and they only stay mad for a while...until he sees how much he is saving compared to spending. If he is not willing to work things out, then dearie, I hate to say it, but you should probably end it now....it will be hard..but it will be worth it...Just keep in mind..YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Answer 4

Well, I think firstly that 6 years is not a lot. Secondly if you have suspicions then you are probably relying on your instincts, so you have to ask yourself if your instincts are usually right. Another thing I think is that we have instincts built in ourselves because they are there to protect us. So most of the time intinct ( I believe) is your only answer. He will always deny it they always do. oh and back to the 6 years thing, wouldn't you rather be happy than hve something a long time?

Answer 5

Take him on the Maury show and have him take a lie detector test. Sounds to me like you both may need to see a marriage counselor and get help for you and for your marriage. If he is cheating on you then you do have grounds for divorce. You can also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him about this too. I am sure he will be more then happy to try and help you with advice and suggestions. A counselor would help you both learn how to communicate too.

Answer 6

If you found evidence, then he is cheating. Of course he is not going to admit it right away...some never admit it at all. However, you guys need to get into counseling ASAP, and if he is not willing to go....then you have to think of yourself and what you want of this marriage, and out life in general.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

the answer is on your coronary heart. ideas to believe someone who has damaged you believe many times and harm you a lot. Now in case you again believe him it is going to likely be your blunder mistake and also you heavily isn't in a position to forgive you with the help of out your lifestyles. because, you won't be able to wish reliability from that human being any more desirable. Your further believe in him will harm you to that volume, that you heavily isn't in a position to believe all and sundry else in destiny Please whip out each and every ingredient you've on your innovations in his remembrances and forget him for the entire lifestyles. one ingredient i ought to allow you to recognize that, this human being does no longer deserve a lady like you. not in any respect in his lifestyles. go away him instantly and brake off all kinfolk. If in destiny he favor to go back to you're saying him sturdy bye.

Answer 8

Get into counseling and talk about this...he will continue to deny, you will continue to accuse, the ball will keep rolling and getting bigger.