After the death of someone very close, does it make you afraid to lose other people you love?

Question

I have a very close male friend, whose mother died when he was around 17. It absolutely destroyed him. I did not know him before but everyone who did says he became a different person, that he withdrew completely. When we started to become close he was doing really well and coming out of his shell i truly believed we were falling in love. But we had a bit of drama due to circumstances and everything fell apart. We stopped talking and he went seriously downhill, starting drinking heavily and really changed. It took him so long to open up to me and as soon as it got hard he was gone. Is it possible he has problems getting close to women because of his mother? He hasnt had a girlfriend and ive known him for years. I also know he is not gay. One night we spent hours on the phone and he talked about his mum for the first time with me and he said he was in love with me, (he'd been drinking) The next day he took it back and that was the end of us. Is it possible he did love me but was afraid?

Answer 1

It's very possible. I lost a loved one in November and can tell you it's decidedly easier to push people away and keep that guard up than to let someone in. And if someone so much as flinches after this person has let them in, they'll bail. Unfortunately enough, I know this all too well.