i dont understand what is wrong with me. i love my husband however ever since our daughter was born i am just not sexually attracted to him. i am attracted to other men just not him. is there something wrong with me?
2007-02-13 14:16:35 · 15 answers · asked by jenn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes there is something wrong with you get help.
2007-02-13 14:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is possible that you are viewing your husband lately as more of a friend than a lover. The guy that helps you with the baby. You're tired, the baby wants your time, and a part of you wants to get away. Looking at other men and fantasizing is an escape from the work of motherhood.
What you need is a break. Try to book a romantic, special date with your husband and get someone to babysit. Have dinner, maybe a bath together with a bottle of wine. If you're adventurous maybe meet him at a bar and pretend you don't know each other. Take him home with you. The old feelings will come back.
2007-02-13 14:24:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that you now see him more as a father instead of a husband/lover. It is a turnoff for you to see him in this new role. Have you been married long? Remember you were pregnant and not feeling/looking your best for 9 months, and now you may feel like you want to be sexy again and he isn't making you feel this way right now. So you are also looking for attention since you had your daughter, maybe your husband isn't looking at you like a lover either... he's probably seeing you in your mother-role, which may also be a bit of a turnoff for him. You both are not doing this consciously, but need to acknowledge that there is a problem and try to talk about it. Ask him how he feels about you. Tell him you are concerned about your lack of desire for him and you want to do what it takes to get your feeling back.
2007-02-13 14:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by festivus64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have some sort of resentment toward your husband in connection with the baby. Also, marriages are full of ups and downs being in and out of love. Give yourself some time. Provide some interests for yourself away from your husband and the new baby. You'll start feeling like yourself again and the love/ attraction can return.
2007-02-13 14:25:58 · answer #4 · answered by sadmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is something definitley not right here. There has to be a reason you feel this way. Is your husband treating you any different then he did before the baby was born? You more then likely will nee help and counseling for how you are feeling. You also need to be honest with your husband about what you are feeling too. I also suggest you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him from that site and ask him for help in this matter as well.
2007-02-13 14:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long ago was your daughter born? Does he help out with her and other household chores? There is nothing wrong with you. Probably what has happened is the dynamics of your relationship have changed. Perhaps you see yourself as his caregiver as well as your daughter's now and that causes you not to be attracted to him that way. Maybe you are insecure about a post-baby body (having issues with that myself) and you know your husband will always tell you you're attractive so it might not mean as much. Other men may b attractive to you because you want to b attractive to them to prove to yourself you can still be a woman as well as a mother.
2007-02-13 14:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by meh 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Was it a difficult labor? My gf hated her husband after a very complicated childbirth. She was going through so much pain and in the back of her mind blaming him for that. It took her about 2 years to get over it. Now they're in a good term again. It could be the case with you, hopefully will take less than 2 years.
2007-02-13 14:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know if the problem doesn't get addressed he will probably look elsewhere. No sex for men = divorce. I think you know exactly whats wrong with yourself, but by saying "I don't know what's wrong with me" keeps you in the comfort zone you want to be in.
You are afraid to face what's wrong with you head on.
2007-02-13 15:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. There's something wrong with your husband. You just need some new d i c k.
2007-02-13 14:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are over him sad but if you are leave and get divorced. i dont' know why this is. maybe you are cheating and dont' want to say. lol
2007-02-17 13:33:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see a shrink .
It's usually the opposite .
2007-02-13 14:22:56 · answer #11 · answered by mundane complexity 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋