I have been dating a girl for a year but last week we broke up and haven't spoken since. I don't think we will get back together. However I still care for her deeply as a person but I am not in love with her. Therefore the thought of her being alone on Valentine's day makes me sick to my stomach and I want to send her a gift without sending her the wrong message. What should I do?
Please advice.
Thanks
2007-02-13 14:01:02 · 19 answers · asked by peragro1 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Valentine's Day
I have been dating a girl for a year but last week we broke up and haven't spoken since. I don't think we will get back together. However I still care for her deeply as a person but I am not in love with her. Therefore the thought of her being alone on Valentine's day makes me sick to my stomach and I want to send her a gift without sending her the wrong message. What should I do? FYI I broke it off, and I do not mind if she starts dating as I want her to be happy.
Please advice.
2007-02-13 14:26:44 · update #1
If you do, then just make sure it's NOT a romantic present and it's not a big present. I'd suggest maybe a yellow rose, but no more than 3. Getting flowers on Valentine's day is like a status issue. If you get flowers, it means someone loves you enough to make that effort on the right day. If you don't get flowers and everyone sees you don't, it's implied that no one loves you. So that's really kind of the jist of why you want to send her something, right? But keeping it to a limited number of yellow roses means that she shouldn't mistake your message. Yellow is the friendship color when it comes to flowers, so unless yellow roses just happen to be her favorite, it should be clear that you want it to be a kind, friendly gesture. You could include a note, but be delicate with it if you do. Don't imply that you think she's alone, because it's a delicate issue and it's very easy to insult. Then, for the sake of avoiding mixed messages, it's probably best to avoid the words "care," "like," "love," "beautiful," or anything similar. In fact, it would probably be better to make it entirely anonymous, with no note.
2007-02-13 15:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a girl I think that getting a V gift from some one who just broke up with me would make me think that there is a chance we'd get back together... This even more so in your case where you broke it off and you haven't spoken since.
also it's sometimes hard to understand that some one can still care for you so much but not love you anymore.. fI think maybe you should try just becoming friends with out any mixed signals in the way... try talking one step at a time
2007-02-13 15:38:04 · answer #2 · answered by Jen H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt send her the gift, i think u r right about sending the wrong message. Why not just give her a card stating how much you value her as friend. Dont worry Valentines day is pretty over rated, people should show people they love them everyday not once a year.
2007-02-13 14:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by boardbetty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say no. You could give her a card and maybe some chocolate but nothing too big or over the top. You could also write her a letter and stick it in the card explaining your feelings and thoughts about the relationship and how you feel for her now. It's really up to you. Do what your heart tells you. Yeah the advice is great but its ultimately up to you.
2007-02-13 14:34:27 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it is. Just make sure that you get the "just friends" part across. I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years. We still call each other and wish each other happy holidays. Its shows that you are an caring person. Be sure to keep the gift clean.
2007-02-13 14:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by lizzyblue15 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i'm kinda in ur place now(But I'm a gurl)Lol. ii loved this guy for as long as ii can remember..& ii still do!We have dated for a while in the past but ii still have so many feelings for him!We talk tho a little bit when hes not workin..But that isnt to often!ii Would get him sum cologne from Abercrombie&Fitch *feirce*.. So For You ii think some perfume would be perfect!Mayb From Abercrombie..She will "think" it was pricey..But its only around $19.99 so 20 dollars!Gurls luv that stuff & It wont be showin that MUCH love for her since you don't love her as much anymore!=]
2007-02-13 14:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Candi<33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about being friends first, try to make it work, If things work out give her the present and tell her that its just as a friend because you couldnt stand to see her alone on valentines day. If things dont work out give her the present anyway telling her you just couldnt stand to see her alone on valentines day and you still want to be friends even if she doesnt
2007-02-13 14:10:41 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Remy♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know if I was in the situation of your ex girlfriend, i would be getting the wrong message. If you truly are not in love with her anymore maybe you should jus consider leaving the situation alone. Maybe she still has feelings for you, and you wouldn't want to get her hopes up only to crush them.
2007-02-13 14:09:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you "care for her deeply" why did you break up? Sounds like you a) either didn't really break up or B) you did break up but you don't want to think that she might find somebody else.
In either case, you're too young to lose any hair or sleep over it.
Let the day go.
2007-02-13 14:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to go with your gut instinct man.. if you truly feel that it's best for you to give her this gift then do it but, make sure you announce your intentions because you don't want the wrong picture sent out.
2007-02-13 14:29:11 · answer #10 · answered by jkid2oo3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋